How much drinking makes someone a "heavy drinker"?

[oxcoug]

Wasn't sure where to fit this as it's not really a "diner" question but a wellness question.

One of my best friends in NYC is my neighbor down the hall (I'm actually in my building because he spotted this unit opening up and persuaded them to hold it for a few weeks until I could get here).

His family is in the restaurant business and he's been around alcohol his entire life. And you go into his apartment and it's like a shrine - the freezer has no food in it, but it does have Johnny Walker, Tito's Vodka, London Dry Gin and various other items.

A big ass wine thermidore (is that what it's called?) occupies one wall. Then there's a cabinet with some finer bourbons and whiskeys in it. And the fridge usually has at least one six pack of beer.

He and his girlfriend cook a couple of nights a week and in our little Seinfeldian world, I'm kind of Kramer busting in (though usually invited, shorter, hair usually more in control) and joining them. They have wine every night. And I rarely seeing him wrapping up an evening without a Scotch, a vodka or a gin & tonic.

I never really thought too much of it until this morning when he and his girl made some ridiculous egg thing and called me to come join him and when I got there (at 9:30 AM) he was mixing vodka in his orange juice

The interesting thing is - he never seems hammered. He's always mellow and in control. But he's also always drinking.

Drinkers, at what point do I need to call the peeps who do that intervention show?

[pellegrino]

does it affect his work or his relationships in a significant way? Does he drive drunk? If not, then listen to mother Mary and let it be.

[Danimal]

Wasn't sure where to fit this as it's not really a "diner" question but a wellness question.

One of my best friends in NYC is my neighbor down the hall (I'm actually in my building because he spotted this unit opening up and persuaded them to hold it for a few weeks until I could get here).

His family is in the restaurant business and he's been around alcohol his entire life. And you go into his apartment and it's like a shrine - the freezer has no food in it, but it does have Johnny Walker, Tito's Vodka, London Dry Gin and various other items.

A big ass wine thermidore (is that what it's called?) occupies one wall. Then there's a cabinet with some finer bourbons and whiskeys in it. And the fridge usually has at least one six pack of beer.

He and his girlfriend cook a couple of nights a week and in our little Seinfeldian world, I'm kind of Kramer busting in (though usually invited, shorter, hair usually more in control) and joining them. They have wine every night. And I rarely seeing him wrapping up an evening without a Scotch, a vodka or a gin & tonic.

I never really thought too much of it until this morning when he and his girl made some ridiculous egg thing and called me to come join him and when I got there (at 9:30 AM) he was mixing vodka in his orange juice

The interesting thing is - he never seems hammered. He's always mellow and in control. But he's also always drinking.

Drinkers, at what point do I need to call the peeps who do that intervention show?

Basic medical guidelines is that for males under 65 that should have no more than 15 standard drinks/week, and no more than 3 standard drinks on any given day. One standard drink= 12 oz beer = 5 oz glass of wine = 1.5 oz liquor.

Whether he appears hammered or not is probably not a good indication of whether he has a drinking problem.

[NorthwestUteFan]

Drinkers, at what point do I need to call the peeps who do that intervention show?

Call the intervention as soon as you decide you no longer need them as friends.

One of these nights, just to understand the situation, get a minibottle of Vanilla Vodka and mix 1 oz into 4 oz of coca cola (or diet coke/pepsi/whatever). Return and report.

You will get shitfaced, and we can make fun of you for drinking a girlie drink.

Anyway, do that every night for a week and you will quickly build a resistance to the effect. Do it for years on end and you will barely notice the effects.

(I am not a drinker, but this experiment would be funny)

[woot]

I know of several folks who make it a point to drink half a bottle of red wine every night for the health benefits. I would also suggest that having a place filled with a wide variety of alcohol makes it seem less likely he's got a problem, as someone with a real problem might not be able to keep that much around and wouldn't necessarily care as much about the quality of the drinks.

Then remember that many people are able to perform quite well and even better while buzzed than they would otherwise. Even if he is drinking enough to shorten his life, it'd be hard to justify stepping in unless he's clearly putting himself or others at short-term risk.

[Colly Wolly]

One of these nights, just to understand the situation, get a minibottle of Vanilla Vodka and mix 1 oz into 4 oz of coca cola (or diet coke/pepsi/whatever). Return and report.

You will get shitfaced, and we can make fun of you for drinking a girlie drink.

Anyway, do that every night for a week and you will quickly build a resistance to the effect. Do it for years on end and you will barely notice the effects.

(I am not a drinker, but this experiment would be funny)

If you choose to heed this advice, you can view this thread to learn of my first experience with alcohol at age 30.

http://cougaruteforum.com/showthread.php?t=25821

[cougjunkie]

I have a few friends that have houses stocked similarly. Some of the stuff sits for quite a long time and is only used on special occassions. Almost like its a hobby to collect different types of alcohol, wine, etc.

[NorthwestUteFan]

One of these nights, just to understand the situation, get a minibottle of Vanilla Vodka and mix 1 oz into 4 oz of coca cola (or diet coke/pepsi/whatever). Return and report.

Oxfordcougar,
I meant to add that you would need to drink a bunch of these, maybe 6 or so, to really feel anything. One drink isn't going to phase you very much. And your friend probably barely notices his 3 drinks a day.

I never drank in high school, other than trying a few things. Occasionally (1-2 times a year) I would get a margarita with my wife, or an occasional bottle of wine. When life/kids/stuff stresses us out it is a huge help to feel the tension leave our bodies and just float for a short while.

Over Christmas, on the advice of a work friend (female) we discovered Whipped Vodka, which tastes somewhat like whipped cream. The stuff was probably a total bilgewater of a vodka otherwise, but with the flavor it is completely tolerable. Other suggestions were cranberry- or pear-infused vodka.

Mixed into hot chocolate it is simply OUTSTANDING. Next time I will get some peppermint flavored vodka. It will go oh-so-well into hot chocolate.

Both my wife and I have strong addictive personalities and have drug and alcohol problems in the family. We made a pact that if we drink, we will only do it together. All of our nonmember friends or coworkers know we are (nominally, at least) LDS, so they expect us to avoid drinking. That is probably a good thing anyway.

It may be because I first used alcohol at such a relatively old age, but it isn't all that appealing to me. Friends of mine who were binge drinkers at 16 or earlier have a hard time staying away from it.

I am not a fan of whiskey, but then again perhaps I haven't tried a good one. Vodka is OK because the flavor hides behind whatever is carrying it.

The harder stuff like vodka, whiskey, etc are kind of cool too because they typically won't spoil at room temperature. You can keep them for months/years/decades without much of a change in character. Several people I know who have well-stocked liquor cabinets have bottles that were passed down from their fathers or grandfathers.

[oxcoug]

Basic medical guidelines is that for males under 65 that should have no more than 15 standard drinks/week, and no more than 3 standard drinks on any given day. One standard drink= 12 oz beer = 5 oz glass of wine = 1.5 oz liquor.

Whether he appears hammered or not is probably not a good indication of whether he has a drinking problem.

Thanks Danimal. That's some useful data.

[oxcoug]

If you choose to heed this advice, you can view this thread to learn of my first experience with alcohol at age 30.

http://cougaruteforum.com/showthread.php?t=25821

Unlikely but I'll check out your account anyway -).

[oxcoug]

Oxfordcougar,
I meant to add that you would need to drink a bunch of these, maybe 6 or so, to really feel anything. One drink isn't going to phase you very much. And your friend probably barely notices his 3 drinks a day.

I never drank in high school, other than trying a few things. Occasionally (1-2 times a year) I would get a margarita with my wife, or an occasional bottle of wine. When life/kids/stuff stresses us out it is a huge help to feel the tension leave our bodies and just float for a short while.

Over Christmas, on the advice of a work friend (female) we discovered Whipped Vodka, which tastes somewhat like whipped cream. The stuff was probably a total bilgewater of a vodka otherwise, but with the flavor it is completely tolerable. Other suggestions were cranberry- or pear-infused vodka.

Mixed into hot chocolate it is simply OUTSTANDING. Next time I will get some peppermint flavored vodka. It will go oh-so-well into hot chocolate.

Both my wife and I have strong addictive personalities and have drug and alcohol problems in the family. We made a pact that if we drink, we will only do it together. All of our nonmember friends or coworkers know we are (nominally, at least) LDS, so they expect us to avoid drinking. That is probably a good thing anyway.

It may be because I first used alcohol at such a relatively old age, but it isn't all that appealing to me. Friends of mine who were binge drinkers at 16 or earlier have a hard time staying away from it.

I am not a fan of whiskey, but then again perhaps I haven't tried a good one. Vodka is OK because the flavor hides behind whatever is carrying it.

The harder stuff like vodka, whiskey, etc are kind of cool too because they typically won't spoil at room temperature. You can keep them for months/years/decades without much of a change in character. Several people I know who have well-stocked liquor cabinets have bottles that were passed down from their fathers or grandfathers.

All good background. I've been around a lot of drinkers and families that prize their collections but I've never seen someone quite as involved and meticulous about it as this friend of mine. I think Woot made some good points as well - he really never seems phased by it, I've never seen him out of control. A little boisterous a few times but never smashing stuff or passing out or doing anything incredibly stupid.

Driving isn't a problem as he's the ultimate non-driving Manhattanite.