Is it ok to pay off a priest?

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  • Art Vandelay
    Striving for mediocrity
    • Jul 2009
    • 10516

    #1

    Is it ok to pay off a priest?

    Anyone who has worked with the youth for any length of time knows every group has its alpha male. In my ward he is a gregarious, good looking athletic kid. Last night I gave him $40 to take out a laurel who just moved into the ward. She is cute, but kind of quiet and is obviously quite interested in the young man.

    My thought is it will help her get to know him better and likely some other LDS kids from other wards- assuming they go on some sort of group date. My wife is worried the boy will tell his friends and eventually she will find out and feel like a charity case. He is a very good kid and seemed more than willing to take me up on my offer- as I said she is quite cute.

    I realize the potential this has to turn into a stupid 80's movies plot. Did I do a dumb thing or not?

    Additional information:
    He would have done it for free. I asked him if we would do it, when he responded yes I then gave him the money. He comes from a poor family. His dad was out of work for 6 months. He works during the summer but since football started up again, he isn't working and I doubt has much spending money.
    Last edited by Art Vandelay; 09-10-2009, 09:48 AM. Reason: Edited to rationlize my seeming bad decision
  • JohnnyLingo
    La Naranja
    • Nov 2008
    • 3976

    #2
    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    I am 100% against this kind of thing... any date that is motivated by money or guilt or other outside pressure instead of a genuine desire to get to know the other person is doomed from the outset, IMO.

    Did you approach the priest and see if he was interested in asking this young lady out before you offered him $40?

    Comment

    • Donuthole
      Official Outgayer
      • Nov 2008
      • 25237

      #3
      If she's really that cute, why did you have to offer him money to take her out? If he's the type of kid you claim he is, it seems a friendly bishop's suggestion would have sufficed.
      Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

      There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

      Comment

      • Indy Coug
        Heartless Bastard
        • Dec 2008
        • 18747

        #4
        Originally posted by Art Vandelay View Post
        Did I do a dumb thing or not?
        Yes, yes you did.
        Everything in life is an approximation.

        http://twitter.com/CougarStats

        Comment

        • Sleeping in EQ
          Philosopher of Men
          • Nov 2008
          • 4188

          #5
          It's better to just make the Motel 6 reservation and give the young man the room key.
          We all trust our own unorthodoxies.

          Comment

          • Art Vandelay
            Striving for mediocrity
            • Jul 2009
            • 10516

            #6
            Originally posted by Donuthole View Post
            If she's really that cute, why did you have to offer him money to take her out? If he's the type of kid you claim he is, it seems a friendly bishop's suggestion would have sufficed.
            Oh sorry I left out a few details... he would have done it for free. I asked him if we would do it, when he responded yes I then gave him the money. He comes from a poor family. His dad was out of work for 6 months. He works during the summer but since football started up again, he isn't working and I doubt has much spending money.

            Comment

            • RobinFinderson
              Banned
              • Nov 2008
              • 10548

              #7
              LOL! Art, I applaud your concern and creativity, but this is rife with potential for disaster. There is a huge risk that others will find out that this date was paid for by the Bishop, and that could really hurt the young woman's feelings. Or maybe it could turn out just the opposite, and she would feel happy that you took an interest in her and cared enough to do something like this. It is impossible to know, but the potential for disaster is there.

              Comment

              • Jeff Lebowski
                Corporate lackey for Jesus
                • Nov 2008
                • 69563

                #8
                I think the bigger mistake was posting what you did here. If anyone sees this and give her a link, it could be a disaster.
                "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

                Comment

                • SloanHater
                  Banned
                  • Feb 2009
                  • 1348

                  #9
                  I'm curious why you didn't encourage a group date, for as mullah as you claim to be ?

                  Comment

                  • Donuthole
                    Official Outgayer
                    • Nov 2008
                    • 25237

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Art Vandelay View Post
                    Oh sorry I left out a few details... he would have done it for free. I asked him if we would do it, when he responded yes I then gave him the money. He comes from a poor family. His dad was out of work for 6 months. He works during the summer but since football started up again, he isn't working and I doubt has much spending money.
                    I still fail to see the need for the money. If she's cute, he'll find a way to hang out with her. By introducing the money, you turned a suggestion into a bribe.
                    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

                    There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

                    Comment

                    • Art Vandelay
                      Striving for mediocrity
                      • Jul 2009
                      • 10516

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
                      I think the bigger mistake was posting what you did here. If anyone sees this and give her a link, it could be a disaster.
                      As someone who watched every stupid teen movie in the 80s I'm going to learn from the mistakes of Ronald Miller. After seeing one again my wife is right and I'm pretty much and idiot I've decided to just tell the girl. I'll give her the same reason I gave him, I want them to go have a fun time together... my treat.

                      Comment

                      • Katy Lied
                        Senior Member
                        • Dec 2008
                        • 9435

                        #12
                        I wouldnt have. It sort of teaches her that she doesnt have to be interesting or charming or outgoing or develop friendships with lots of boys and girls--she just has to like a boy REALLY REALLY REALLY a lot. And things will fall her way.

                        IMHO we have too many young women who already think that.

                        Edited:

                        I like your plan to tell her though. I'd say I suggested it to him, and he was willing. Then as an afterthought, I'd say, "this was my treat--Im going to pay for it."

                        Comment

                        • Art Vandelay
                          Striving for mediocrity
                          • Jul 2009
                          • 10516

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Art Vandelay View Post
                          My thought is it will help her get to know him better and likely some other LDS kids from other wards- assuming they go on some sort of group date. .
                          Originally posted by SloanHater View Post
                          I'm curious why you didn't encourage a group date, for as mullah as you claim to be ?
                          I did

                          Comment

                          • Jarid in Cedar
                            CS Institutional Memory
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 13234

                            #14
                            I think if you say you gave him $40 so he could take her out versus
                            You gave him $40 so he would take her out. It would be viewed quite differently.
                            "The first thing I learned upon becoming a head coach after fifteen years as an assistant was the enormous difference between making a suggestion and making a decision."

                            "They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression."

                            "I like to bike. I could beat Lance Armstrong, only because he couldn't pass me if he was behind me."

                            -Rick Majerus

                            Comment

                            • RC Vikings
                              Known Heterosexual
                              • Nov 2008
                              • 8788

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Art Vandelay View Post
                              As someone who watched every stupid teen movie in the 80s I'm going to learn from the mistakes of Ronald Miller. After seeing one again my wife is right and I'm pretty much and idiot I've decided to just tell the girl. I'll give her the same reason I gave him, I want them to go have a fun time together... my treat.
                              Ron grew up and is now a very successful doctor so maybe this isn't such a bad idea.
                              Last edited by RC Vikings; 09-10-2009, 10:13 AM.

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