Going to the temple for the first time in almost 2 years.

[smokymountainrain]

Thanks for sharing, SM. Very interesting thread.

I echo some of the sentiments already shared - at the temple, I get bored, I fall asleep, etc, just as some have mentioned. That said, the overall experience is nearly always very positive and I tend to find myself wondering why I don't go more often.

I think DDD makes a good point drawing on ETB's comments. While I nearly always have a good experience and want to get back as soon as as possible, it is not always a time when I have prayers answered or find solutions to my problems. But since I do enjoy going and try to attend regularly, those more productive temple visits are simply icing on the cake. I think Art's comment rings true for me as well. The more often I go, the more I appreciate the temple, the more I get out of it and those feelings of boredom, guilt or sleepiness tend to be less frequent.

[cowboy]

After mentioning irrigating, talk about how the service we do is similar to the water you brought to your afalfa. It can't get a drink for itself so the Christ relies upon you to bring it the water which if it drinks it will never thirst again. But that you must go consistently, and if you don't water consistently then weeds can get in and spoil the crop (I don't know if that is true and it probably isn't but outside of folks from rural America - most of whom are inactive- ain't nobody would know you were making shit up). Call it Cowboy's message to hometeachers and you are rollin', rollin' I tell ya!

That's it! Where do I fit in the part about inviting one of my families over for dinner and FHE last night? You know, fed them physically then fed them spiritually? Once we figure that one out, I have my first conference talk written - now all I have to do is wait by the phone for the first presidency to call...

[Pheidippides]

I find my moment of zen in a few ways.

Running

On long motorcycle rides on back roads

Camping or hiking in remote, largely unknown locations

The temple

I do not go to the last one often because it brings peace, but it is also emotionally draining.

I am definitely a ProMo and we probably shared much of the same journey over the last few years, but I am now at peace. I don't go to church to partake of the doctrine, which I find largely superficial (as it is taught). I go to worship. Focusing on the worship aspect instead of the instruction aspect has helped me greatly.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I have had times when I enjoy the temple very much, but that is not the norm for me. I usually feel frustrated, tired, stressed out by the whole trip.

I often don't find "the spirit" to be very peaceful. Perhaps I am seeking the wrong thing, but the feelings that I have always associated with the Holy Ghost usually leave me feeling anxious or excited.

Good luck SM.

[RC Vikings]

When I need a picker upper I go and do something for someone else. Some may find that feeling in the temple but I just sit there and think what if all this time, energy and money was spent really helping those in need. My escape is my cycling and golfing but doing something kind for others is what really makes me feel good.

[The_Tick]

I have been to the temple twice in the last 4 years. (Not including the 16 times doing BFTD with the youth.)

Dec. 07 to stand in proxy for a sister in the ward being sealed to her deceased husband. Her 2 boys and I are pretty close.

Time before that was at Drunk Tanks sealing.

I just don't get anything out of it really. If I lived a little closer then perhaps it would be a priority to me. But as it is now...2 hr drive, 3 hours in temple, 2 hour drive home. Plus all the church stuff the next day? No time for it.

[Rosebud]

Right after I was endowed I was asked to speak in the Saturday evening session of stake conference. I spoke honestly about how the temple ceremony made me feel uncomfortable and unsure. (It was fun to watch the bowed, bored heads in the audience rise to listen.) I tried to speak honestly, warmly and positively and in the end didn't get into any trouble at all. On the contrary, the stake president was appreciative of my honesty and quoted me positively in the Sunday session.

As I look back over my life it seems to me that I feel the most peace right after I directly and honestly face what is bothering me. It can be uncomfortable to be truthful with myself about bad situations I find myself in or the negative emotions I have. I usually find, though, that when I directly face what is weighing on me and have the guts to take it to god in prayer (whether it's in the shower like Wuap, the temple or the mountains), in the end I feel more peace.

I'm tired of hearing people use the concept of "the Spirit" to justify their decisions, but in my experience there is a peaceful feeling that comes after facing opposition. I associate the peace I find with the "Spirit" or the "Comforter." There is no better feeling. Whenever I'm in a place in my life where I can't feel it, I miss it and I find myself working to find that comfort again. For me, feeling the spirit isn't so much related to temple worship as it is to praying and doing my best to face life experiences honestly.

[Gidget]

I love the temple as well, but I often don't feel peace there. I think my personality just doesn't allow it after finding a babysitter, driving through traffic and feeling rushed since it is a large chunk of time to commit to given those circumstances. When I feel stressed I often read, or hang out with my daughter. I wish I could say I find that peace with Surfah, I love him dearly, but he bugs, even now he is correcting my sentences over my shoulder.

Or daughter Leah is so interesting and small and such a little miracle that when I look at her I stop thinking about everything else and just love. It is a nice break from everything else the swarms my mind and life. She just makes me feel centered and good.

[falafel]

I wish I could say I find that peace with Surfah, I love him dearly, but he bugs, even now he is correcting my sentences over my shoulder.

lol

[Surfah]

lol

Really she is cursing me for eating the healthy choice ice cream fudge bar despite my intolerance to lactose. Currently both bedroom windows are open, our door is open and the ceiling fan is on high speed. Poor girl.

[Rosebud]

Or daughter Leah is so interesting and small and such a little miracle that when I look at her I stop thinking about everything else and just love. It is a nice break from everything else the swarms my mind and life. She just makes me feel centered and good.

That's it Gidget. I have rarely felt more peace than when I spend time holding (quiet and happy) babies or really listening to and trying to love little kids. Sorry if this sounds cliche.... kids and their never-ending needs can totally drive me crazy, too. Even so... they bring an unexplainable peace when I get past my own selfishness.

[I.J. Reilly]

Thanks for your honest post, SM. In the LDS culture it really seems like if you go to the temple and don't absolutely enjoy it there really must be something wrong with you. Isn't that the place where you get peace and communion with God? Isn't it where Christ comes to talk with his servants? Isn't it what heaven's supposed to be like? (Just to clarify: I am speaking of cultural ideas here, not necessarily doctrinal.) If you don't like the temple the devil must really have hold on your soul. Compounding that, talking about the temple is one of the biggest taboos in the culture, so it seems like there is no where to go to express concerns you may have, or questions you have about the temple.

For me, doing endowment sessions has always seemed like a chore. It has almost always been a struggle to even stay awake (even if I go in not tired). I normally just chalk it up to God protecting me from things I'm not ready for. He puts me to sleep every time in there, no fail For my wife, the whole temple experience has really been a struggle. Going to the temple (endowments, specifically) really blew her paradigm about what she felt like the church was. The ritualistic aspects bothered her a lot, and she felt divided as a family, not closer. Couple that with a mom who really didn't help (really? you can't even give your daughter a hug when she gets into the Celestial room for the first time? Instead, you have to come up and bother her about getting tickets to something or another? Really??? (As you can tell, I really took exception to that one by the MIL)) After going the first time, she did not want to return. When we went the second time after we got married she was in tears, begging me not to make her go in. I did not (I'm not going to force that on her and then have resentment build up over that) but she did eventually go. Every time since then hasn't been as bad, but she still has unease about it.

Sorry, didn't mean to ramble on that. Mostly what I'm trying to say is that for some, the temple doesn't live up to the billing. I find that I do much better spiritually when doing W&A or baptisms with a small group of friends. In those instances I feel much more connected to what is going on and I am able to let my mind settle at the same time.

When I really need to relax and get peaceful, I enjoy a good hike. The strain on the body can be cathartic and the monotony of one foot in front of another for hours gives me time to sort out stuff in my head. For a quick fix, a shower works (something about the water allows for some serious mind preparation) or even just lying on the bed and forcing everything out of my mind.

I'm really just echoing what others have said in this thread previously, but I still think it works.

[byu71]

Is it a cultural or doctrinal thing unique to the LDS faith, or is it a condition with all people, all cultures and all religions.

The "it" I am referring to is, "it's your fault". If Sacrament meeting is boring, it is your fault. If you don't get on a huge high attending the Temple, it is your fault. If you are a male and happily unmarried, it is your fault. If you don't find everything the leaders say to be inspiring and counsel that should be followed, it is your fault.

It is so ingrained in me, that when I talk to someone who attends all their meetings and church functions and we discuss why I don't, I usually end the conversation with, "I am lazy and not very spiritual, I should be more like you."

He then says, well maybe we should get together and play some golf and perhaps we can talk about you becoming more active. I make some excuse not to play with him because he is known as a big time cheater.

[smokymountainrain]

For me, doing endowment sessions has always seemed like a chore. It has almost always been a struggle to even stay awake (even if I go in not tired). I normally just chalk it up to God protecting me from things I'm not ready for. He puts me to sleep every time in there, no fail For my wife, the whole temple experience has really been a struggle. Going to the temple (endowments, specifically) really blew her paradigm about what she felt like the church was.

FWIW, I don't think this is unusual at all that you see it as a chore. It is, after all, called temple "work". And as far as LDS culture goes - and your comment that if you don't enjoy it there must be something wrong, there is a reason church leaders are constantly telling members they need to go to the temple more often than they do. It's because church members feel like it's a chore and they don't enjoy it.

I guess my point is, that in my experience, you feel the way 90% of church members feel in regard to the temple. Those of use who enjoy it are in the minority. It's sad, and I wish all members could feel the way I do in the temple, but that just isn't reality. Yours - many others on this board - is the true reality.

[ERCougar]

Interesting timing of this thread for me. Too bad I just noticed it.

I've been feeling like I need to give the temple another try for a little while now. In the past, I can think of a few nice experiences I've had there, but nothing that would eclipse experiences I've had in nature, running, looking at the stars at night, reading, etc. and on the whole, I have found it long, boring, and contrary, or at least superfluous, to what I view as essential Christianity. However, my wife would like to go more and doesn't like going alone. I'm intrigued whenever I hear about people's spiritual experiences in the Celestial Room and would like to think that it's something more than just the good feelings that come from sitting in a nice clean quiet room dedicated to reflection. So I'm curious.

We recently moved to a new ward and just met with the Bishop last night. He asked me if my TR was current and I said no, and that it hadn't been for a few years. He asked me why and I honestly said that I have a few doctrinal concerns with it but that when it comes down to it, the temple just doesn't do it for me. He tried to get me to go into specifics on this but I didn't really feel like this was the time or place, so I resisted. In the end, I told I'm interested in attending again and so we set up an appointment for a TR interview.

Here's the problem...He clearly wants to discuss my issues with the temple. I'm not terribly interested in doing this. The last time I got into a discussion over the temple with someone, she left the room crying (not my wife), so since that happened, I've decided to keep my concerns to myself and focus on areas of agreement with other members. Over the course of the discussion, the bishop said "so being sealed to your family isn't that important to you?" This comment wasn't as mean-spirited as it sounds, but it still reflects what his aim in this appointment will be. I'm not interested in getting into an argument over the temple. I don't want to prepare for an argument over the temple, since in order for this to be a fair evaluation, I would need to prepare an anti-list to counteract his pro-list--that's not a real useful exercise for me. I'm willing to return to the temple to evaluate again if this is an important spiritual experience for me to incorporate into my life. What more does he want?