How to improve your marriage

[Art Vandelay]

I want to have a combined Priesthood-RS lesson in a few weeks on the challenges of marriage and what can be done to strengthen the monoandry relationship. I have a very large and very young ward- 75% of my members are 30 or younger. I want to go beyond the obvious pray, read scriptures and attend the temple together, I don't mean to downplay the importance of each of those, but I think couples need other tools to use beyond the typical LDS answers.

My questions:

1) Knowing what you know now, during the first years of marriage what could you have done differently/better to improve your relationship?

2) Knowing what you know now, during the first years of marriage what could your spouse have done differently that would have improved your marriage? I'm particularly interested in the responses from those who have gone through a divorce.

3) Assuming all your physical (sexual) needs are being met, what way can your spouse best show his/her love or appreciation for you? e.g. flowers, doing the laundry, saying thank you, etc.

[KillerDog]

I want to have a combined Priesthood-RS lesson in a few weeks on the challenges of marriage and what can be done to strengthen the monoandry relationship. I have a very large and very young ward- 75% of my members are 30 or younger. I want to go beyond the obvious pray, read scriptures and attend the temple together, I don't mean to downplay the importance of each of those, but I think couples need other tools to use beyond the typical LDS answers.

My questions:

1) Knowing what you know now, during the first years of marriage what could you have done differently/better to improve your relationship?

2) Knowing what you know now, during the first years of marriage what could your spouse have done differently that would have improved your marriage? I'm particularly interested in the responses from those who have gone through a divorce.

3) Assuming all your physical (sexual) needs are being met, what way can your spouse best show his/her love or appreciation for you? e.g. flowers, doing the laundry, saying thank you, etc.

I've got one for you. WAIT TO HAVE KIDS!!! Kids are a major stressor in a marriage. They bring out hormones and sleep deprivation that a newly married couple is not ready to deal with. Waiting to have kids can save a marriage and simplify a divorce.

Of course, this probably won't get much play in an LDS environment. Another suggestion would be to learn to ask questions with an eye toward understanding rather than response.

[Jarid in Cedar]

I want to have a combined Priesthood-RS lesson in a few weeks on the challenges of marriage and what can be done to strengthen the monoandry relationship. I have a very large and very young ward- 75% of my members are 30 or younger. I want to go beyond the obvious pray, read scriptures and attend the temple together, I don't mean to downplay the importance of each of those, but I think couples need other tools to use beyond the typical LDS answers.

My questions:

1) Knowing what you know now, during the first years of marriage what could you have done differently/better to improve your relationship?

2) Knowing what you know now, during the first years of marriage what could your spouse have done differently that would have improved your marriage? I'm particularly interested in the responses from those who have gone through a divorce.

3) Assuming all your physical (sexual) needs are being met, what way can your spouse best show his/her love or appreciation for you? e.g. flowers, doing the laundry, saying thank you, etc.

Move very far away from family early on so you have to work all the kinks out without intrusive in-laws.

[jay santos]

I want to have a combined Priesthood-RS lesson in a few weeks on the challenges of marriage and what can be done to strengthen the monoandry relationship. I have a very large and very young ward- 75% of my members are 30 or younger. I want to go beyond the obvious pray, read scriptures and attend the temple together, I don't mean to downplay the importance of each of those, but I think couples need other tools to use beyond the typical LDS answers.

My questions:

1) Knowing what you know now, during the first years of marriage what could you have done differently/better to improve your relationship?

2) Knowing what you know now, during the first years of marriage what could your spouse have done differently that would have improved your marriage? I'm particularly interested in the responses from those who have gone through a divorce.

3) Assuming all your physical (sexual) needs are being met, what way can your spouse best show his/her love or appreciation for you? e.g. flowers, doing the laundry, saying thank you, etc.

Do you have a marriage counselor or therapist in your ward? A marriage counselor teaches a class like this in our ward and it is fantastic.

[wuapinmon]

The answer to all three is have more sex.

[Coach McGuirk]

The answer to all three is have more sex.

I have found common ground with wuap!

[KillerDog]

Move very far away from family early on so you have to work all the kinks out without intrusive in-laws.

I think establishing distance between both of your families is key. I don't think it has to be physical distance but familial distance is a must. Nothing ruins a marriage like family.

[Pheidippides]

Move very far away from family early on so you have to work all the kinks out without intrusive in-laws.

Seconded.

[SeattleUte]

An answer to all three questions is try to stay positive. Positive feelings about the marriage take a lot more concentration and effort than negative. It's easy to slink off and sulk, or say sharp things. If you're feeling or thinking poisonous things about your spouse, see if you can go buy him or her flowers or a gift. I've seen that a person can really truly value a marriage, not want to give it up with all their heart and soul (deep inside), but if you recorded their statements and actions you'd see the negative would far outweigh the positive. I try to take a hard look at two wedding pictures we have on display at least once a day, and remember the feelings I had on that day.

Recently I heard a stage actor say that the hardest thing for her on stage was to genuinely express love. She said that's because in real life it's a lot easier to go negative. I think there's something to that.

[JohnnyLingo]

Move very far away from family early on so you have to work all the kinks out without intrusive in-laws.

Not really a must... we live 10 minutes from her in-laws and they've been amazing at minding their own business.

[pellegrino]

[COLOR="Blue"]I want to have a combined Priesthood-RS lesson in a few weeks on the challenges of marriage and what can be done to strengthen the monoandry relationship. I have a very large and very young ward- 75% of my members are 30 or younger. I want to go beyond the obvious pray, read scriptures and attend the temple together, I don't mean to downplay the importance of each of those, but I think couples need other tools to use beyond the typical LDS answers.

I don't think the church supports men marrying themselves. It's hard to reproduce by yourself. I did hear that they were big supporters of monogamy though.

[Art Vandelay]

I don't think the church supports men marrying themselves. It's hard to reproduce by yourself. I did hear that they were big supporters of monogamy though.

Good point. I was trying to be clever with wordplay playing off the previous discussion and came off showing my ignorance again. Such is life.

[pellegrino]

Good point. I was trying to be clever with wordplay playing off the previous discussion and came off showing my ignorance again. Such is life.

I'm only teasing Art, I know you were trying to be clever, and I did chuckle because it was clever, but the smart ass in me won and I had to make a comment.

[Rosebud]

Good point. I was trying to be clever with wordplay playing off the previous discussion and came off showing my ignorance again. Such is life.

I thought it was clever .

[Art Vandelay]

I thought it was clever .

Wow if DDD and Babs were also to acknowledge my wordplay I might have to consider this post my walk off homerun and head back to a Nebraska wheat field to play catch with my son, ala Roy Hobbs.