October 2019 General Conference

[MartyFunkhouser]

Coffee and real boobs represent all that is good on this earth. They both warm the soul and wake you up. Fake boobs are just a cheap caricature, like Diet Mountain Dew.

This post is full of all the truth. I would like you to be my Prophet.

[Pelado]

What are you talking about? Utah is littered with fake boobs.

Why is everyone discarding their fake boobs? Is that how they made Silicon Slopes?

[Jeff Lebowski]

What are you talking about? Utah is littered with fake boobs.

Lol. Touche'.

[falafel]

Good heavens, you must be absolutely miserable living in Vegas.

What are you talking about? Utah is littered with fake boobs.

[Pelado]

How many other caffeine delivery methods have you tried?

My delivery method the last couple days was straight from a 2-liter bottle of Cherry Coke. Gotta love deadlines.

[Uncle Ted]

as JL said, if you answer yes or no, they aren't going to probe further. but for the sake of argument, lets say they do probe further - you just reiterate your yes or no answer.

SP: do you keep the WoW? UT: yes. SP: i mean, do you drink coffee? UT: i keep the word of wisdom.

or you could tell him to eff off.

if you choose the latter option, please return and report.

More like this:

SP: Do you understand and obey the WoW?

UT: Yeah.

SP: What is your understanding of the WoW?

UT: I understand was given in section 89 as not a commandment. Why are you shining those bright lights in my face, man?

[Northwestcoug]

Coffee and real boobs represent all that is good on this earth. They both warm the soul and wake you up. Fake boobs are just a cheap caricature, like Diet Mountain Dew.

[Donuthole]

Good heavens, you must be absolutely miserable living in Vegas.

It's different when you live here than when you visit. (That is the Church-approved response when someone questions how you feel about living in Sin City as an active member of the Mormon church, but it seems to work in this situation.)

[Jeff Lebowski]

Not me. I'd choose coffee over fake boobs, but real boobs over coffee. But maybe i'm weird.

Good heavens, you must be absolutely miserable living in Vegas.

[Bo Diddley]

I think I'm too honest in the TR interview. When asked about the WOW - said yes I keep it - but I have lust in my heart for coffee, and always walk down the coffee aisle at the grocery store wistfully taking in the aroma.

I like to burden my leaders with stupid shit - to make sure I'm never called beyond the clerk level.

I'm in the same boat. And I don't go out of my way to check if coffee is an ingredient in the mocha flavored dessert I'm consuming, nor would I really care.

[smokymountainrain]

Not me. I'd choose coffee over fake boobs, but real boobs over coffee. But maybe i'm weird.

[falafel]

I don't love the smell of coffee. The taste is delicious and it is by far the best caffeine delivery method. Nothing else is close.

How many other caffeine delivery methods have you tried?

[creekster]

Nice for the Church to make sure that important doctrinal clarification is right there on archive.sltrib.com for anybody to read and reference if they need help understanding the new TR questions.

Except the questions are easy to understand on their face, the comments linked were not about the TR questions and nothing in there constitutes an "important doctrinal clarification."

[MartyFunkhouser]

Ooh, gross. Not me. The smell of coffee is vile. And the smell of coffee breath is even worse than vile, whatever that is. Coffee-flavored candy, mocha ice cream, tiramisu, etc. - all taste foul to me.

I might have lust in my heart for 'Napper-approved boobs, but definitely not for coffee.

I don't love the smell of coffee. The taste is delicious and it is by far the best caffeine delivery method. Nothing else is close.

[Donuthole]

Ooh, gross. Not me. The smell of coffee is vile. And the smell of coffee breath is even worse than vile, whatever that is. Coffee-flavored candy, mocha ice cream, tiramisu, etc. - all taste foul to me.

I might have lust in my heart for 'Napper-approved boobs, but definitely not for coffee.

Not me. I'd choose coffee over fake boobs, but real boobs over coffee. But maybe i'm weird.