The divorce thread

[Color Me Badd Fan]

I'm not sure if this belongs in the religion category or not, but I guess one of my initial questions will involve religion.

I've noticed a number of the posters on here are divorced. I don't think the proportion is abnormal at all especially compared to the general population.

Divorces seem to produce some interesting stories. I was just wondering what the major causes are.

How much is because of infidelity?

How about friction from conflicting religious views?

How about the wife (or man- yeah right) turning frigid?

Related to the frigidity cause, but how about a lack of emotional/mental stability?

I've only been married for about three years. There is no friction or problem in my marriage and that could either be a function of time (not being married that long) or the fact that my wife is extremely easy to satisfy and get along with. The one possible exception is my wife HATES it when I bring up items such as Joseph Smith's polyandrous relationships. I've learned to mostly avoid these issues with my wife. That's why I added the friction from religious issues cause above.

[byu71]

I'm not sure if this belongs in the religion category or not, but I guess one of my initial questions will involve religion.

I've noticed a number of the posters on here are divorced. I don't think the proportion is abnormal at all especially compared to the general population.

Divorces seem to produce some interesting stories. I was just wondering what the major causes are.

How much is because of infidelity?

How about friction from conflicting religious views?

How about the wife (or man- yeah right) turning frigid?

Related to the frigidity cause, but how about a lack of emotional/mental stability?

I've only been married for about three years. There is no friction or problem in my marriage and that could either be a function of time (not being married that long) or the fact that my wife is extremely easy to satisfy and get along with. The one possible exception is my wife HATES it when I bring up items such as Joseph Smith's polyandrous relationships. I've learned to mostly avoid these issues with my wife. That's why I added the friction from religious issues cause above.

Pure and simple in my case. FREAKIN, MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!!!

[Color Me Badd Fan]

Pure and simple in my case. FREAKIN, MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!!!

Wow, really? What did she do?

I have a pretty easy MIL. She has some crazy ideas sometimes, but she's not smothering or divisive. One of my brothers has a really nutty MIL, but she fortunately lives in Lousiana and he lives in Washington state.

[DU Ute]

Wow, really? What did she do?

I have a pretty easy MIL. She has some crazy ideas sometimes, but she's not smothering or divisive. One of my brothers has a really nutty MIL, but she fortunately lives in Lousiana and he lives in Washington state.

Yeah, I'd like to hear it. Crazy MIL stories make me grateful that mine is such a sweetheart.

[smokymountainrain]

Pure and simple in my case. FREAKIN, MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!!!

So your marriage was pretty much otherwise blissful, but your MIL sucked so you got a divorce? Seriously?

I find that hard to believe, but if true, that is really sad.

[Jarid in Cedar]

Pure and simple in my case. FREAKIN, MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!!!

My MIL is the Mullah of American Fork. It's a good thing that my wife has figured out that her mother is crazy or we would have bigger problems than we already have.

I can win most(not all) crazy religious MIL stories.

[DU Ute]

My MIL is the Mullah of American Fork. It's a good thing that my wife has figured out that her mother is crazy or we would have bigger problems than we already have.

I can win most(not all) crazy religious MIL stories.

I think that's the key. A marriage can survive a crazy MIL as long as the couple is on the same team. Problems start when parties cleave too much to their parents.

[byu71]

So your marriage was pretty much otherwise blissful, but your MIL sucked so you got a divorce? Seriously?

I find that hard to believe, but if true, that is really sad.

I doubt there is any one cause to a marriage ending in divorce.

Someone says infidelity and I could ask. So your marriage was pretty much otherwise blissful, but the inifidelity was a problem so you got a divorce?

I lay the MIL as the root cause. Another issue was my religious belief that the man was in charge. That caused quite a bit of conflict when that belief came up against her mothers belief she was in charge.

While we were in the Temple getting married, her mom told her, "he thinks he has you all locked up now just because he has you married in the Temple."


She offered her money to get a divorce and come home even after our second child was born. The therapist told me "she is one in 10 million."

[Color Me Badd Fan]

My MIL is the Mullah of American Fork. It's a good thing that my wife has figured out that her mother is crazy or we would have bigger problems than we already have.

I can win most(not all) crazy religious MIL stories.

My MIL drinks green tea and iced cappuchinos and rarely attends relief society because she can't stand how the women in there constantly rip on their husbands. Relgion-wise, my MIL is more than fine with me.

My MIL has a little bit of nuttiness in her. But mostly they're really small things like trying to force my wife to wake up at 5AM to watch her sister get her makeup and hair ready for her wedding. Another thing that stands out is how she tried to force me out of the family room during the end of the 2007 Utah v. BYU game right around the 4th and 17 play (or whatever the yardage was) because people were arriving early for my wife's baby shower. That pissed me off. These people were early and this was the most important college football game of the year to me.

My mom is a far worse MIL to my wife than my MIL is to me. My mom isn't smothering or divisive, but she says offensive things. My dad tries to reign her in sometimes, but my mom is just clueless sometimes.

[Color Me Badd Fan]

I doubt there is any one cause to a marriage ending in divorce.

Someone says infidelity and I could ask. So your marriage was pretty much otherwise blissful, but the inifidelity was a problem so you got a divorce?

I lay the MIL as the root cause. Another issue was my religious belief that the man was in charge. That caused quite a bit of conflict when that belief came up against her mothers belief she was in charge.

While we were in the Temple getting married, her mom told her, "he thinks he has you all locked up now just because he has you married in the Temple."


She offered her money to get a divorce and come home even after our second child was born. The therapist told me "she is one in 10 million."

Wow. I feel justified in calling your ex MIL a bitch.

A girl I knew very well got married to a guy in your position. He fortunately got a divorce while he was still young, but he had to move right next door to her parents and his ex-wife would spend all her time with her mother. I'm not sure if the MIL was as explicit, but his ex-wife clearly wasn't devoted to him at all and he knew the second they'd move away there would be huge problems.

Nothing wrong with guy at all, and from all indications he and his second wife are doing very well.

[smokymountainrain]

Another issue was my religious belief that the man was in charge. That caused quite a bit of conflict when that belief came up against her mothers belief she was in charge.

While we were in the Temple getting married, her mom told her, "he thinks he has you all locked up now just because he has you married in the Temple."


She offered her money to get a divorce and come home even after our second child was born. The therapist told me "she is one in 10 million."

Yeah, your ex-MIL sucks. My MIL is certifiably nuts, but she tries to be nice and is generally a good person so it's hard for me to empathize with those who struggle with that part of their relationships.

[SeattleUte]

Frigid is not an acceptable term here. It's like saying negro or visible minority. Think of another way to say it, please.

[byu71]

Wow. I feel justified in calling your ex MIL a bitch.

A girl I knew very well got married to a guy in your position. He fortunately got a divorce while he was still young, but he had to move right next door to her parents and his ex-wife would spend all her time with her mother. I'm not sure if the MIL was as explicit, but his ex-wife clearly wasn't devoted to him at all and he knew the second they'd move away there would be huge problems.

Nothing wrong with guy at all, and from all indications he and his second wife are doing very well.

Smokeymtn brought up a good point in his intitial question to me, everything wasn't bliss besides the MIL. If I had been wiser, note I didn't say smarter because I was brilliant and that too was a problem, if I had been wiser we would have gotten into counseling early in our marriage. I think we would have had a good shot at making it.

We are pretty good friends now. I really thought her next two husbands were jerks, but the one she has now is a pretty good guy.

[MartyFunkhouser]

I'm not sure if this belongs in the religion category or not, but I guess one of my initial questions will involve religion.

I've noticed a number of the posters on here are divorced. I don't think the proportion is abnormal at all especially compared to the general population.

Divorces seem to produce some interesting stories. I was just wondering what the major causes are.

How much is because of infidelity?

How about friction from conflicting religious views?

How about the wife (or man- yeah right) turning frigid?

Related to the frigidity cause, but how about a lack of emotional/mental stability?

I've only been married for about three years. There is no friction or problem in my marriage and that could either be a function of time (not being married that long) or the fact that my wife is extremely easy to satisfy and get along with. The one possible exception is my wife HATES it when I bring up items such as Joseph Smith's polyandrous relationships. I've learned to mostly avoid these issues with my wife. That's why I added the friction from religious issues cause above.

Divorces are mostly caused by one or both parties being selfish. The things that you described are just symptoms of that selfishness.

[il Padrino Ute]

Frigid is not an acceptable term here. It's like saying negro or visible minority. Think of another way to say it, please.

Unresponsive?