Funeral talk vs civil wedding talk

[jay santos]

I just clicked on CB to see if there was any FB recruiting news. Mistake.

http://www.cougarboard.com/noframes/...tml?id=4663188

"I have to perform a wedding this Saturday. I would much rather conduct a funeral service than a wedding service. It is much easier to discuss the plan of salvation in relation to dying than it is to being married outside of the temple."

I'm sure Art Vandelay is a decent guy and based on username probably has a good sense of humor. And maybe I'm reading too much into this. But this comment seems to perfectly capsulize everything I hate about many church members.

It's got all these wrapped up in one tidy statement:

--self-righteousness
--Pharaseeism with focus on principles over people
--over-reliance on gospel knowledge which could be more speculation than doctrine
--extreme lack of perspective on spirituality and life in general

[Indy Coug]

And maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Wow, you think?

[il Padrino Ute]

Why is there a need to bring up the Plan of Salvation when performing a wedding? Just point out that a marriage is about putting the interests of one's spouse ahead of one's own interests.

Some folks make things more difficult than they really are.

[jay santos]

Wow, you think?

Unfortunately I've attended both civil weddings and funerals that were conducted by bishops who displayed all of my bullet points in spades.

[LA Ute]

I just clicked on CB to see if there was any FB recruiting news. Mistake.

http://www.cougarboard.com/noframes/...tml?id=4663188

"I have to perform a wedding this Saturday. I would much rather conduct a funeral service than a wedding service. It is much easier to discuss the plan of salvation in relation to dying than it is to being married outside of the temple."

I'm sure Art Vandelay is a decent guy and based on username probably has a good sense of humor. And maybe I'm reading too much into this. But this comment seems to perfectly capsulize everything I hate about many church members.

It's got all these wrapped up in one tidy statement:

--self-righteousness
--Pharaseeism with focus on principles over people
--over-reliance on gospel knowledge which could be more speculation than doctrine
--extreme lack of perspective on spirituality and life in general

Well, there is a tendency among some Church members to see a non-temple wedding as a great tragedy. It's usually silly to do that, and I must admit I've only seen that in Utah.

[Jarid in Cedar]

Well, there is a tendency among some Church members to see a non-temple wedding as a great tragedy. It's usually silly to do that, and I must admit I've only seen that in Utah.

I have been to a few weddings where one of the mothers was crying, but more in shame that her friends would think that she didn't raise her child well(not hearsy, I knew 2 of the mothers well)

[Goatnapper'96]

I just clicked on CB to see if there was any FB recruiting news. Mistake.

http://www.cougarboard.com/noframes/...tml?id=4663188

"I have to perform a wedding this Saturday. I would much rather conduct a funeral service than a wedding service. It is much easier to discuss the plan of salvation in relation to dying than it is to being married outside of the temple."

I'm sure Art Vandelay is a decent guy and based on username probably has a good sense of humor. And maybe I'm reading too much into this. But this comment seems to perfectly capsulize everything I hate about many church members.

It's got all these wrapped up in one tidy statement:

--self-righteousness
--Pharaseeism with focus on principles over people
--over-reliance on gospel knowledge which could be more speculation than doctrine
--extreme lack of perspective on spirituality and life in general

Art Vandelay, in addition to being one hell of a latex salesman, is a chronic smartass. My guess is you are reading way too much into it.

Don't hate, Jay. Jesus loves shortsighted mormons too!

[Medfordcoug]

I have to agree with Art, funerals are easier than weddings. Just think of trying to keep moms and bride happy while telling them no photography or wedding march in the chapel.......

[beelzebabette]

I have to agree with Art, funerals are easier than weddings. Just think of trying to keep moms and bride happy while telling them no photography or wedding march in the chapel.......

And, I still fail to understand why people choose to have either funerals or weddings in an LDS chapel...

[beefytee]

And, I still fail to understand why people choose to have either funerals or weddings in an LDS chapel...

Not being up to date on where the best place is to hold a funeral, where is better?

Graveside? The funeral home?

Graveside has benefits if the weather cooperates.

Where are you suggesting having it?

[beelzebabette]

Not being up to date on where the best place is to hold a funeral, where is better?

My family goes with the funeral home. I should have added the caveat that it's not senseless to have it in a chapel if the family is worried about a large turnout. I'm not trying to be critical of those who choose that option, but I think the rules are great for a sacrament meeting but less so for a family event; thus, my failure to understand why many don't consider other venues.

[Surfah]

My family goes with the funeral home. I should have added the caveat that it's not senseless to have it in a chapel if the family is worried about a large turnout. I'm not trying to be critical of those who choose that option, but I think the rules are great for a sacrament meeting but less so for a family event; thus, my failure to understand why many don't consider other venues.

Or you can just have a wake at your home for 3 days like my family in Hawaii does.

[Pheidippides]

My family goes with the funeral home. I should have added the caveat that it's not senseless to have it in a chapel if the family is worried about a large turnout. I'm not trying to be critical of those who choose that option, but I think the rules are great for a sacrament meeting but less so for a family event; thus, my failure to understand why many don't consider other venues.

I didn't really know there were rules when we had our funeral (we had it in the chapel for the reasons you suggest). Maybe we didn't break any. Or maybe nobody cared to enforce them. I'm not sure.

Personally, if the group is small, I would prefer a funeral outside, gravesite, on a clear brisk autumn day, with a nice quiet drive to the cemetery with the windows down or the top open. But I know where I will be buried and I have the specific spot in mind.

[BigPiney]

I didn't really know there were rules when we had our funeral (we had it in the chapel for the reasons you suggest). Maybe we didn't break any. Or maybe nobody cared to enforce them. I'm not sure.

Personally, if the group is small, I would prefer a funeral outside, gravesite, on a clear brisk autumn day, with a nice quiet drive to the cemetery with the windows down or the top open. But I know where I will be buried and I have the specific spot in mind.

This will undo all of the work of the beautician. Wait did you mean on the car, and not the casket?

I like graveside services with not so many people.

[Surfah]

I didn't really know there were rules when we had our funeral (we had it in the chapel for the reasons you suggest). Maybe we didn't break any. Or maybe nobody cared to enforce them. I'm not sure.

Personally, if the group is small, I would prefer a funeral outside, gravesite, on a clear brisk autumn day, with a nice quiet drive to the cemetery with the windows down or the top open. But I know where I will be buried and I have the specific spot in mind.

Interesting. I have never thought about where I would like to be buried. I've joked that a cardboard box would suffice. I guess I always assumed that I'd be buried wherever is most convenient for my family.

My boss told me that he buried his parents in New York and bought his own plot next to them. Supposedly this was a very desirable plot. So much so that his aunt told the cemetery that he too had died and been buried elsewhere so she could lay claim to the plot. I thought it odd at first as he was relatively young when he bought the plots. But then I thought maybe he got a buy 2 get 1 free deal or something. And if they're that expensive and desirable that someone would fake a death to obtain one then maybe it's not a bad thing to plan for. Can one sell plots like real estate? Maybe I should start speculating.

Do any of you already have plots purchased?