Transgender LDS boy

[UVACoug]

Interesting video from a transgender LDS boy:

Even as a gay member of the Church, I cannot imagine what it would be like to deal with the struggle this boy has dealt with. It looks like he has a great mother, but I was asking myself throughout the video where his father was. They showed clips of him at the dinner table, but he didn't comment about the situation at all. I hope his dad is just as supportive, but having experienced a bad relationship with my own father, I have my concerns.

I also found it interesting that he said his Church leaders have been supportive of his transition. I don't doubt that that is true, but I feel that that wouldn't be the case in most wards. The Church is pretty dead set against transgender members that transition. Having a sex change operation is an excommunicable offense. He will likely never have the priesthood or a temple marriage. He is unlikely to be permitted to serve a mission. I have a difficult time seeing how he fits in as an active member of the Church as he becomes an adult. And I say that as someone who has been able to find my own place in the Church as a gay member.

I don't pretend to understand this issue. I can't help but wonder at times if transitioning is the right thing to do, or whether there are other ways to help people deal with gender identity issues that don't include such drastic and definitive measures. I can't question those that have done it though, or those that have supported them. They live it 24/7 and I, who have never dealt with such issues, can never understand their situation. I just hope that members of the Church can love people like this boy, regardless of whether they transition or not. I have luckily come to terms with my own sexuality (or at least am beginning to) in a time when many members of the Church have not been so hostile to people like me. I fear that it is going to be much more difficult for people like this boy. I hope I am wrong.

[imanihonjin]

Interesting video from a transgender LDS boy:

http://youtu.be/YHiG7jfClpo

Even as a gay member of the Church, I cannot imagine what it would be like to deal with the struggle this boy has dealt with. It looks like he has a great mother, but I was asking myself throughout the video where his father was. They showed clips of him at the dinner table, but he didn't comment about the situation at all. I hope his dad is just as supportive, but having experienced a bad relationship with my own father, I have my concerns.

I also found it interesting that he said his Church leaders have been supportive of his transition. I don't doubt that that is true, but I feel that that wouldn't be the case in most wards. The Church is pretty dead set against transgender members that transition. Having a sex change operation is an excommunicable offense. He will likely never have the priesthood or a temple marriage. He is unlikely to be permitted to serve a mission. I have a difficult time seeing how he fits in as an active member of the Church as he becomes an adult. And I say that as someone who has been able to find my own place in the Church as a gay member.

I don't pretend to understand this issue. I can't help but wonder at times if transitioning is the right thing to do, or whether there are other ways to help people deal with gender identity issues that don't include such drastic and definitive measures. I can't question those that have done it though, or those that have supported them. They live it 24/7 and I, who have never dealt with such issues, can never understand their situation. I just hope that members of the Church can love people like this boy, regardless of whether they transition or not. I have luckily come to terms with my own sexuality (or at least am beginning to) in a time when many members of the Church have not been so hostile to people like me. I fear that it is going to be much more difficult for people like this boy. I hope I am wrong.

I feel for both of you and what you have gone through. Good luck to you in your journey.

[Jeff Lebowski]

That's a great video. Bravo to his local church leaders.

[Moliere]

That is a good video.

I'll admit that I don't understand transgenderness. I know it exists and wouldn't push for legislation against it, but I just haven't met or worked with anyone that is transgendered. I work with many gay people, so I feel more comfortable around them and I hope that if I had a person like Grayson in my ward that I could be as accepting and loving.

[Donuthole]

Here's another one I posted the other day. I'm genuinely impressed at how her parents and other family members have responded.

Not sure if we have a Mormons and Transsexuals thread, so I'll just post this here. Interesting stuff.

http://www.upworthy.com/she-grew-up-...er-life?c=ufb1

[Dwight Schr-ute]

Interesting video from a transgender LDS boy:

http://youtu.be/YHiG7jfClpo

Even as a gay member of the Church, I cannot imagine what it would be like to deal with the struggle this boy has dealt with. It looks like he has a great mother, but I was asking myself throughout the video where his father was. They showed clips of him at the dinner table, but he didn't comment about the situation at all. I hope his dad is just as supportive, but having experienced a bad relationship with my own father, I have my concerns.

I also found it interesting that he said his Church leaders have been supportive of his transition. I don't doubt that that is true, but I feel that that wouldn't be the case in most wards. The Church is pretty dead set against transgender members that transition. Having a sex change operation is an excommunicable offense. He will likely never have the priesthood or a temple marriage. He is unlikely to be permitted to serve a mission. I have a difficult time seeing how he fits in as an active member of the Church as he becomes an adult. And I say that as someone who has been able to find my own place in the Church as a gay member.

I don't pretend to understand this issue. I can't help but wonder at times if transitioning is the right thing to do, or whether there are other ways to help people deal with gender identity issues that don't include such drastic and definitive measures. I can't question those that have done it though, or those that have supported them. They live it 24/7 and I, who have never dealt with such issues, can never understand their situation. I just hope that members of the Church can love people like this boy, regardless of whether they transition or not. I have luckily come to terms with my own sexuality (or at least am beginning to) in a time when many members of the Church have not been so hostile to people like me. I fear that it is going to be much more difficult for people like this boy. I hope I am wrong.

Thanks. Donut posted this video last week of another Utah transgender: http://www.upworthy.com/she-grew-up-...er-life?c=ufb1
Like you, I can't fathom the struggle that these kids go through. Trying to figure life out as a teenager was hard enough, being a teenager when when your identity doesn't even seem to match your biology must be debilitating. Then you add being active in the church into the mix...

It frustrates me that the church feels like they need to take a position on this. It seems so ridiculous. One of these things is certainly not like the others:

Disciplinary councils may also be convened to consider a member’s standing in the Church following serious transgression such as abortion, transsexual operation, attempted murder, rape, forcible sexual abuse, intentionally inflicting serious physical injuries on others, adultery, fornication, homosexual relations, child abuse (sexual or physical), spouse abuse, deliberate abandonment of family responsibilities, robbery, burglary, embezzlement, theft, sale of illegal drugs, fraud, perjury, or false swearing.

It seems on par with subjecting anyone that has had a breast augmentation or a vasectomy or tubal ligation to a disciplinary council. From a church that believes in a premortal existence and the eternal nature of the soul, they really should have a better appreciation that sometimes the biology gets it wrong. Fertilization and cell development is an extremely complicated process with mutation being a constant variable in the process. How does the church explain transsexualaity? How do bishops council young parents who are trying to make the best decision for their atypical newborn? The fact that the church is on record with this being an offense deserving of excommunication would be embarrassing if it weren't so tragic.

It sort of surprises me that you question transitioning. I think transitioning is the safest way to help someone feel comfortable with who they are. Honestly, I see no negative in transitioning.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I mentioned this before, but we have some friends with a boy who acted and behaved like a girl from the moment he was born. When he was eight years old, he told his parents that if he couldn't wear dresses and girls clothing he would rather be dead. His father is a seminary teacher (2nd generation) so they are as orthodox as you can get. There is no way you could pin this on conditioning. They did everything they could to "fix" him. Haven't seen them in a few years. I wonder how he is doing.

[Goatnapper'96]

That is a good video.

I'll admit that I don't understand transgenderness. I know it exists and wouldn't push for legislation against it, but I just haven't met or worked with anyone that is transgendered. I work with many gay people, so I feel more comfortable around them and I hope that if I had a person like Grayson in my ward that I could be as accepting and loving.

The closest I have come to anyone who is transgendered is I had a guy in my EQ presidency who rides that Lotoja race every year and he shaves his legs. I also golfed with CougJunkie and he appeared to have shaved his arms.

I think I am sheltered but I am oh so full of love and tolerance!

[Dwight Schr-ute]

I mentioned this before, but we have some friends with a boy who acted and behaved like a girl from the moment he was born. When he was eight years old, he told his parents that if he couldn't wear dresses and girls clothing he would rather be dead. His father is a seminary teacher (2nd generation) so they are as orthodox as you can get. There is no way you could pin this on conditioning. They did everything they could to "fix" him. Haven't seen them in a few years. I wonder how he is doing.

That would break my heart as a parent.

[Blueintheface]

I've also shared this before but in my parent's ward in Cottonwood Heights a transgender member of the stake was given the priesthood. This was nearly 10 years ago now and it went all the way to GBH. There is room for growth in this church.

[UVACoug]

Thanks. Donut posted this video last week of another Utah transgender: http://www.upworthy.com/she-grew-up-...er-life?c=ufb1
Like you, I can't fathom the struggle that these kids go through. Trying to figure life out as a teenager was hard enough, being a teenager when when your identity doesn't even seem to match your biology must be debilitating. Then you add being active in the church into the mix...

It frustrates me that the church feels like they need to take a position on this. It seems so ridiculous. One of these things is certainly not like the others:


It seems on par with subjecting anyone that has had a breast augmentation or a vasectomy or tubal ligation to a disciplinary council. From a church that believes in a premortal existence and the eternal nature of the soul, they really should have a better appreciation that sometimes the biology gets it wrong. Fertilization and cell development is an extremely complicated process with mutation being a constant variable in the process. How does the church explain transsexualaity? How do bishops council young parents who are trying to make the best decision for their atypical newborn? The fact that the church is on record with this being an offense deserving of excommunication would be embarrassing if it weren't so tragic.

It sort of surprises me that you question transitioning. I think transitioning is the safest way to help someone feel comfortable with who they are. Honestly, I see no negative in transitioning.

I think you are probably right.

[UVACoug]

I've also shared this before but in my parent's ward in Cottonwood Heights a transgender member of the stake was given the priesthood. This was nearly 10 years ago now and it went all the way to GBH. There is room for growth in this church.

That's amazing, if true. I really wish the Church would remove the handbook instruction that having a sex-change operation is sin worthy of excommunication. It seems like such a rare situation where there is no need for a blanket rule. These situations should be handled on a case-by-case basis.

[byu71]

That's amazing, if true. I really wish the Church would remove the handbook instruction that having a sex-change operation is sin worthy of excommunication. It seems like such a rare situation that there is no need for a blanket rule. These situations should be handled on a case-by-case basis.

I totally agree with you. I am a fan of we don't have all the answers and God will work all things out in the end. Therefor, in my mind it is totally unacceptable to have mere men and women try to work this out in some kind of church proceeding.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

That's amazing, if true. I really wish the Church would remove the handbook instruction that having a sex-change operation is sin worthy of excommunication. It seems like such a rare situation that there is no need for a blanket rule. These situations should be handled on a case-by-case basis.

I totally agree with you. I am a fan of we don't have all the answers and God will work all things out in the end. Therefor, in my mind it is totally unacceptable to have mere men and women try to work this out in some kind of church proceeding.

Especially since we learned through all of this Ordain Women exercise that the sole purpose of excommunication is to provide the pathway back into the church. If reassignment surgery is worthy of excommunication, would reversing that surgery be the only way back into the good graces of the church? That's insanity.

[Green Monstah]

That's amazing, if true. I really wish the Church would remove the handbook instruction that having a sex-change operation is sin worthy of excommunication. It seems like such a rare situation where there is no need for a blanket rule. These situations should be handled on a case-by-case basis.

I bet there has to be some biological basis for the FP approval (i.e., the person has both sets of parts). I'm by no means an expert, but I do know of two women who learned they had testicles internally after reaching puberty (one of whichwas my BIO 100 prof at BYU!). I could see the Church caving in these type of instances.