Confessions of a singles ward hopper

[SandYFan]

Something of a manifesto from an older, male, single Mormon who ward hops every week, searching for a wife.

Shares a lot of observations and analysis.

Towards the end he gives us this gem:

even though I proposed to several girls only to be denied...

I feel confident in saying he's doing it wrong.

Anyway, kind of a fun read. Interesting perspective.

http://singleswardhopper.com/

[BigPiney]

Something of a manifesto from an older, male, single Mormon who ward hops every week, searching for a wife.

Shares a lot of observations and analysis.

Towards the end he gives us this gem:



I feel confident in saying he's doing it wrong.

Anyway, kind of a fun read. Interesting perspective.

http://singleswardhopper.com/

Yes he is doing something wrong. I would say for the most part, that is one of the questions you only should ask unless you already know the answer.

[Topper]

He has no specific direction. No crime in that, but his lack of resolve seems to inhibit him.

On one hand, he wants a gal that has everything, slim-trim figure, who still conforms to LDS culture, but also longs for many things which LDS culture rejects. He's in the middle of the road. Make a definitive choice and run with it.

[Commando]

This dating expert/singles ward savant is not married?????

I can tell within thirty seconds of meeting another priesthood holder whether that Elder is addicted to porn by watching which women he glances at. I can tell from the response I get to a single smile whether any young woman is from a small town, whether she is spoiled and stuck up, and whether she is a democrat.

Okay, I guess he gets around to the truth:

I'm desperate, and my grip on innocence is slipping as I get older, and life passes me by without a ward or a spouse.

In the last ten years, I have kissed a lot of young women, but I have never broken the Law of Chastity - even though the thought has crossed my mind a few times, and has crossed the minds of girls I'm dating more than a few times.

I refuse to sell out all I've learned and believe for a ten minute thrill

This gets really eerie just before it gets around to the epilogue where he brags about his piercing blue eyes and six-figure income. Lots of funny people out there.

[Commando]

If I was a shrink and he was on my couch I'd print off this part and start here. He thinks he needs to get married to be happy, instead of correcting his misery so he can attract a partner.

Now I'm getting older, and lonelier. I'm sad and a cynical, and unsure what I need to do to get married and be happy.

[clackamascoug]

Perhaps you're the cousin of Mr. Collins.

[Non Sequitur]

This is the quote that intrigued me: "I have fought hard for ten years to maintain my virginity, and have managed to hold on to it, but loosely".

What does he mean by loosely? When I first got divorced, I made a foray into the world of Mormon dating. There was term that was frequently used called "Mormon sex". It basically means "everything but...". Maybe that's what he means by loosely.

[ERCougar]

At first, I was pretty convinced it was all tic, but the tone gets pretty serious in the last half. He really does sound desperate.

He's spot on on a few things though.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk 2

[Color Me Badd Fan]

I'm so glad that I don't have to inhabit this part of the LDS world. If married LDS people only knew how awkward and awful the LDS Singles scene is when you're over 30, they'd do everything in their power to make their marriages work. Women would forgive men of their transgressions into porn, men would consume smaller amounts of porn, both spouses would try to keep in shape.

When I was 28, I decided to hell with only dating LDS girls. I was prepared to get my fill of tramp-stamped girls, but I instead ended up meeting my wife about a week after I had made the decision to dabble off the reservation.

[MarkGrace]

This is the quote that intrigued me: "I have fought hard for ten years to maintain my virginity, and have managed to hold on to it, but loosely".

What does he mean by loosely? When I first got divorced, I made a foray into the world of Mormon dating. There was term that was frequently used called "Mormon sex". It basically means "everything but...". Maybe that's what he means by loosely.

Sounds like you're just referring to blowjobs and muff diving. Not sure why they need a Mormon name. But yeah, that's probably what he means by loosely.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

Kugr started a blog?

[Dwight Schr-ute]

He's 33 and has NEVER broken the law of chastity? Not as defined by BKP, that's for sure. It's good thing he claims to be an attorney, cause he's lyin'!

[pellegrino]

This is the quote that intrigued me: "I have fought hard for ten years to maintain my virginity, and have managed to hold on to it, but loosely".

What does he mean by loosely? When I first got divorced, I made a foray into the world of Mormon dating. There was term that was frequently used called "Mormon sex". It basically means "everything but...". Maybe that's what he means by loosely.

sounds like some sort of technique that he employs in order to skirt the law, you know, kind of like docking.

[Non Sequitur]

Sounds like you're just referring to blowjobs and muff diving. Not sure why they need a Mormon name. But yeah, that's probably what he means by loosely.

I think it's because they still consider themselves chaste until they cross the line.

[Topper]

I think it's because they still consider themselves chaste until they cross the line.

No wonder we Mormons make great accountants and attorneys, finding new ways to comply but circumvent.