Singing "Called to Serve" at a funeral?

[Indy Coug]

Broaden your vision?? This from the guy who is the poster child for the word "anal".

Seeing how it's 7:30 where you are and your geriactric pharmaceutical cocktail probably hasn't kicked in yet, I'll cut you some slack on this directionless post.

[UtahDan]

It's long been a pet peeve of mine. I can certainly understand that it might bring comfort to a family during very difficult times but overall I think it's a coping mechanism.

I grew up hearing stories about the the stupid things that were said to my aunt and uncle after their two year old was run over and killed.

I don't know where I picked it up, but I read somewhere years ago that the best thing to say (in the writers opinion obviously) was something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for your loss and I know nothing I can say to you will make you feel better, but I do want you to know that I am here and that if there is anything I can do for you, please ask me."

That immediately resonated as a sound approach. I think grieving persons want support and not pithy one liners that are calculated to make them see things in some new way.

[Indy Coug]

I don't know where I picked it up, but I read somewhere years ago that the best thing to say (in the writers opinion obviously) was something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for your loss and I know nothing I can say to you will make you feel better, but I do want you to know that I am here and that if there is anything I can do for you, please ask me."

Definitely the best thing to say.

[byu71]

I grew up hearing stories about the the stupid things that were said to my aunt and uncle after their two year old was run over and killed.

I don't know where I picked it up, but I read somewhere years ago that the best thing to say (in the writers opinion obviously) was something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for your loss and I know nothing I can say to you will make you feel better, but I do want you to know that I am here and that if there is anything I can do for you, please ask me."

That immediately resonated as a sound approach. I think grieving persons want support and not pithy one liners that are calculated to make them see things in some new way.

I can't believe I got into a pretty healthy debate over on CB on this one. Someone told the missionaries that if they lived the rules they would be protected from harm. What does that say to all those people who have loved ones who have lost their lives while serving a mission. Some knot heads were actually arguing that they must have been breaking some kind of rule. Not only is something like that blatantly wrong, it is terribly insensitive.

[UtahDan]

I can't believe I got into a pretty healthy debate over on CB on this one. Someone told the missionaries that if they lived the rules they would be protected from harm. What does that say to all those people who have loved ones who have lost their lives while serving a mission. Some knot heads were actually arguing that they must have been breaking some kind of rule. Not only is something like that blatantly wrong, it is terribly insensitive.

I remember when those missionaries were killed in Russia the the GD (at the time) that Sunday made the comment that had there not been something amiss in their lives, or perhaps the parents lives, this would not have occurred.

This is the danger in misreading "after all we can do." Some folks are very literal. And you are right, it is both totally incorrect and insensitive.

[Sleeping in EQ]

This is what you get when you mix an Old Testament approach to God with a Mormon afterlife.

[SteelBlue]

I grew up hearing stories about the the stupid things that were said to my aunt and uncle after their two year old was run over and killed.

I don't know where I picked it up, but I read somewhere years ago that the best thing to say (in the writers opinion obviously) was something along the lines of "I'm so sorry for your loss and I know nothing I can say to you will make you feel better, but I do want you to know that I am here and that if there is anything I can do for you, please ask me."

That immediately resonated as a sound approach. I think grieving persons want support and not pithy one liners that are calculated to make them see things in some new way.

When I say I think it might bring comfort to families I'm referring to families who have decided on their own that their loved one was taken because they were called to serve. I think that is a very common coping mechanism among the religious during times of unfathomable grief.

[CardiacCoug]

Why is this mortal existence the be-all, end-all of our existence and any impingement, discomfort or truncation of this existence viewed as the ultimate tragedy? Broaden your vision.

That's a great line.

You should use that next time you talk to somebody who has lost a close family member. It would probably be especially effective to use it on parents who have lost a child.

[CardiacCoug]

Don't be bashing God just because you aren't smart enough to see the rhyme to His reason.

Are you one of those people who goes around saying "Everything happens for a reason"?

Good for you, man. I prefer to say, "Bad shit happens for no good reason." I think that is closer to the truth.

[Indy Coug]

That's a great line.

You should use that next time you talk to somebody who has lost a close family member. It would probably be especially effective to use it on parents who have lost a child.

I didn't say it wasn't supposed to hurt, I am trying to say that stuff like doesn't happen because God is uncaring and it doesn't happen because he is woefully impotent.

Just because you can't fathom from your limited perspective doesn't mean there isn't some grand plan behind why and when tragedy happens and how the intricate web of mortality meshes with the eternities.

[grapevine]

I have a cousin that had to come hhome early because of seizures. He went tubing in canal on a 4th of July and had a seizure and drowned. Shortly after mission. That was closing song at his funeral called to serve. His brother in law leading music asked brothers and sisters to please stand. I stand all amazed was opening song.

I do think O My Father is appropriate at every lds funeral myself as opener.