And He will make your paths straight...(Proverbs 3:6)

[Shaka]

As a mid-single dude I have a number of divorced women friends who were married to homosexuals. A few knew it before marriage and had a similar can do attitude that the bride n this story currently has. I hate to say it but Utah Dan is barking up the right tree. These types of marriages rarely work long term.

These two are still in the honeymoon stage where everything is new and wonderful. I hope it stays that way but the bloom will most likely fall of the rose at some point and when that happens they will most likely be in trouble.

[wally]

But being the world's foremost expert on all the failed jumps people have made from the Empire State Building in bird suits doesn't make your decision to give your own bird suit jump a try any more wise or any less likely to kill you.

What if you are the worlds foremost expert on going over Niagara falls in a barrel? The survival odds are probably a little better in the barrel than the bird suit.

If there has even been one single successful gay-straight marriage in history, I propose that the analogy of choice for this thread be shifted from bird suit to barrel.

[falafel]

Yes, but I don't count that as a success. Suppressing your nature cannot help but be painful and miserable. You are trying to argue that it might possibly be working for people we have never heard of. I grant that, anything is possible. But again, saying that something is possible is very far from saying it is likely.

Right. I will certainly agree that there are not likely to be very many success stories. But, as I said before, I think you are discounting the likelihood of success by the fact that you haven't heard of any success stories, when I think its highly unlikely that true success stories would be shared. The only ones that are likely to be shared are those, like this one, where the couple goes in with eyes wide open. Of course, those are the most rare kind of these stories.

[Blueintheface]

I wouldn't call it sad though, but I would call it perhaps a fool's errand. I too have seen these relationships end, one with tragic results. That's not to say that individuals can't make a sraight relationship work but it seems unlikely.

It's hard for me to fathom this most basic of instincts being quelled simply by faith and a willing companion. If I put myself in their situation and was somehow convinced that salvation came only through living contrary to my own sexual instincts, I'm quite sure my instincts would eventually win out. Who knows, maybe they'll live out their lives in peace and happiness and never look back and more power to them, but I know I couldn't do it.

[UtahDan]

Right. I will certainly agree that there are not likely to be very many success stories. But, as I said before, I think you are discounting the likelihood of success by the fact that you haven't heard of any success stories, when I think its highly unlikely that true success stories would be shared. The only ones that are likely to be shared are those, like this one, where the couple goes in with eyes wide open. Of course, those are the most rare kind of these stories.

I see what you are saying, but I am not accepting the premise that it is likely there are many of these out there that we just haven't heard about. I can't see why a success story would not be shared. If it is because one partner is in the closet and desperate for their spouse not to know, then that is not a success in my eyes.

[UtahDan]

I hate to say it but Utah Dan is barking up the right tree.

This should gratify you!

[Northwestcoug]

This is remarkably sad. Hopefully no one chooses to attempt this because of this article.

Why is it sad? They seem incredibly happy and fulfilled as a married couple.

It is a nice story. It appears that both sides have gone into the relationship with their eyes wide open. If they are happy and communicate, then why can't they have as good a relationship as anyone else? I agree that it shouldn't be held up as a standard of how to deal with SSA, but if it works for them then...:thumbsup:

I think all of these opinions are valid. It just depends on how generalized your opinion is. For them, it sounds like they are happy together. They seem to genuinely love each other. Although the odds are against them, they seem to be OK for now. In my opinion, as long as they weren't coerced by church propaganda*, bully for them.

*I have a lot of contempt for Evergreen. I especially despise it when church leaders address their crowd, giving them an unofficial church seal of approval (http://www.sltrib.com/utah/ci_13377659). I am so tired of hearing how homosexuality is their cross to bear, and that God expects them to remain celibate, with no chance of having a committed relationship to someone they love. It is a vile teaching, in my opinion.

So when their story is published, and links to Evergreen and Oaks' talk on SSA are provided at the end of the article, it implicitly feels like they are advocating to give marriage a shot. LDS men and women, young and impressionable as they tend to be when they're dating, might see this as a path to follow. I hope not.

[Scorcho]

it’s probably unwise for any marriage to conceive a child that quickly, ....... especially this one.

[Swimmer]

Hopefully it will work out, but I have my doubts

http://ldsliving.com/story/68799-our...sex-attraction

Looks like Ty Mansfield is (hetero) married and has a kid. Interesting story and obviously one from a faithful perspective. Hopefully things turn out well for Ty and Danielle.

Good luck to them, and I truly hope it works, but I doubt he is any more committed to making his marriage work than I was. I'm certain he truly believes he can make it last, and maybe he can, but I know literally dozens and dozens of men, including myself, who tried the exact same thing and are now divorced and living a gay lifestyle.

Saying I was miserable for the 21 years I was married to my ex wife would be an understatement. Finding true happiness required me to accept who I was, admitting it to others, taking a big risk of losing friends/family, and doing the one thing that would bring me true happiness. Whether his marriage is successful or not, I am sure he will one day have to face the same decision I did. Whatever he chooses, I hope he finds true happiness.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I have only seen one gay-straight marriage last long term. All the others crashed and burned spectacularly.

[falafel]

I have only seen one gay-straight marriage last long term. All the others crashed and burned spectacularly.

How many have you seen?

I also wonder whether any gay-straight marriage that eventually ends is being considered a failure for the purposes of this discussion. 50% of ALL marriages end divorce, right? I would think that would be the starting point for evaluating how poorly these gay-straight marriages do.

[Sullyute]

Good luck to them, and I truly hope it works, but I doubt he is any more committed to making his marriage work than I was. I'm certain he truly believes he can make it last, and maybe he can, but I know literally dozens and dozens of men, including myself, who tried the exact same thing and are now divorced and living a gay lifestyle.

Saying I was miserable for the 21 years I was married to my ex wife would be an understatement. Finding true happiness required me to accept who I was, admitting it to others, taking a big risk of losing friends/family, and doing the one thing that would bring me true happiness. Whether his marriage is successful or not, I am sure he will one day have to face the same decision I did. Whatever he chooses, I hope he finds true happiness.

Swimmer, thanks for your personal post. I don't know how open you were with your spouse and family before your eventual divorce, but do you think that his being opening gay (experiencing SSA in mormon parlance) and the wife accepting him for who his is, can or would make a difference?

[Jeff Lebowski]

How many have you seen?

A dozen or so.

And I have my doubts about the other one. They never seemed particularly happy.

I also wonder whether any gay-straight marriage that eventually ends is being considered a failure for the purposes of this discussion. 50% of ALL marriages end divorce, right? I would think that would be the starting point for evaluating how poorly these gay-straight marriages do.

Making a marriage successful requires a tremendous amount of effort and commitment. Not being physically/romantically attracted to one another adds an additional layer of difficulty that makes the odds incredibly difficult to overcome.

[Indy Coug]

50% of ALL marriages end divorce, right?

I know this statistic gets universally quoted, but just how accurate is that number?

[falafel]

I know this statistic gets universally quoted, but just how accurate is that number?

Why don't you get back to us on that.