And He will make your paths straight...(Proverbs 3:6)

[Moliere]

http://ldsliving.com/story/68799-our...sex-attraction

Looks like Ty Mansfield is (hetero) married and has a kid. Interesting story and obviously one from a faithful perspective. Hopefully things turn out well for Ty and Danielle.

[UtahDan]

http://ldsliving.com/story/68799-our...sex-attraction

Looks like Ty Mansfield is (hetero) married and has a kid. Interesting story and obviously one from a faithful perspective. Hopefully things turn out well for Ty and Danielle.

This is remarkably sad. Hopefully no one chooses to attempt this because of this article.

[Moliere]

This is remarkably sad. Hopefully no one chooses to attempt this because of this article.

Why is it sad? They seem incredibly happy and fulfilled as a married couple.

[UtahDan]

Why is it sad? They seem incredibly happy and fulfilled as a married couple.

It is sad because this nearly never works. Actually, I'm not personally aware of it ever working but know about tons of examples of it being an unmitigated disaster, which is the most likely outcome. There is a reason that not even the church suggests people do this anymore (though this article very irresponsibly, IMO, hints that it can work notwithstanding numerous disclaimers).

This guy is never going to change who he is, that is not possible. So either he will very painfully repress that part of himself and feel miserable, even if he can manage to hide it, or at some point he will walk. I am all for people ordering their lives in whatever way seems best. But the overwhelming weight of experience is against them and now they have the added pressure of literally being poster children for this. This is just a triumph of hope over experience. Life is full of problems that come to you no matter what you do, but this virtually assuring yourself heartbreak. So for me sad is the right word. That is going to be a sad little family at some point.

[Sullyute]

It is a nice story. It appears that both sides have gone into the relationship with their eyes wide open. If they are happy and communicate, then why can't they have as good a relationship as anyone else? I agree that it shouldn't be held up as a standard of how to deal with SSA, but if it works for them then...:thumbsup:

[Moliere]

It is sad because this nearly never works. Actually, I'm not personally aware of it ever working but know about tons of examples of it being an unmitigated disaster, which is the most likely outcome. There is a reason that not even the church suggests people do this anymore (though this article very irresponsibly, IMO, hints that it can work notwithstanding numerous disclaimers).

This guy is never going to change who he is, that is not possible. So either he will very painfully repress that part of himself and feel miserable, even if he can manage to hide it, or at some point he will walk. I am all for people ordering their lives in whatever way seems best. But the overwhelming weight of experience is against them and now they have the added pressure of literally being poster children for this. This is just a triumph of hope over experience. Life is full of problems that come to you no matter what you do, but this virtually assuring yourself heartbreak. So for me sad is the right word. That is going to be a sad little family at some point.

I get that it sets an example that is likely not attainable for most, if any, but they both seem like they know the situation and it seems that he is fulfilled in everyway that is necessary in a marriage. As long as people are happy and fulfilled I think it's great.

Your sadness comes from projecting what you think will happen, which would worry me as well if both sides were blindly going about this because it's what the prophet said. However, I think both of them know the situation (he's obviously a MoSto listener) and they are not making it work, but it's working for them. There is a big difference between making it work and having it work for you.

[falafel]

It is sad because this nearly never works. Actually, I'm not personally aware of it ever working but know about tons of examples of it being an unmitigated disaster, which is the most likely outcome. There is a reason that not even the church suggests people do this anymore (though this article very irresponsibly, IMO, hints that it can work notwithstanding numerous disclaimers).

This guy is never going to change who he is, that is not possible. So either he will very painfully repress that part of himself and feel miserable, even if he can manage to hide it, or at some point he will walk. I am all for people ordering their lives in whatever way seems best. But the overwhelming weight of experience is against them and now they have the added pressure of literally being poster children for this. This is just a triumph of hope over experience. Life is full of problems that come to you no matter what you do, but this virtually assuring yourself heartbreak. So for me sad is the right word. That is going to be a sad little family at some point.

Have you considered the fact that you aren't likely to hear many of the successful stories?

[UtahDan]

Have you considered the fact that you aren't likely to hear many of the successful stories?

Given how anxious Evergreen and others are to show that these kinds of relationships, repairative therapy, etc. actually work, I don't think it merits too much consideration.

[falafel]

Given how anxious Evergreen and others are to show that these kinds of relationships, repairative therapy, etc. actually work, I don't think it merits too much consideration.

Have you considered that a dude that's fighting being gay and possibly hiding it from his wife may not want to alert Evergreen and have a pamphlet made about his struggles?

[UtahDan]

Your sadness comes from projecting what you think will happen, which would worry me as well if both sides were blindly going about this because it's what the prophet said. However, I think both of them know the situation (he's obviously a MoSto listener) and they are not making it work, but it's working for them. There is a big difference between making it work and having it work for you.

Anything is possible. The weight of experience says that it is incredibly improbable. I agree that it is better that they have their eyes wide open, but people make choices great and small every day where they consciously ignore the likelihood of success and do what they hope will work. It is the most human of things. I'm certainly not rooting for them to fail, very much the contrary. But being the world's foremost expert on all the failed jumps people have made from the Empire State Building in bird suits doesn't make your decision to give your own bird suit jump a try any more wise or any less likely to kill you.

[wally]

That is going to be a sad little family at some point.

You kinda sound like a heartbroken mother of an exmo.

[lambdacoug]

Have you considered the fact that you aren't likely to hear many of the successful stories?

The lack of successful stories can mean either 1) no one talks about them because they work or 2) there are none.

You are assuming #1, UD #2. I think there are not very many, if any, such relationships that work long term. The ones the do not work are extremely destructive for all involved, eespecially if the kids continue going to church learning that the parent with SSA is sinful. The people I know that have gone through are some of the most active (straight) people I know campaigning for gay rights as a direct reaction to the personal pain they've suffered.

[UtahDan]

Have you considered that a dude that's fighting being gay and possibly hiding it from his wife may not want to alert Evergreen and have a pamphlet made about his struggles?

Yes, but I don't count that as a success. Suppressing your nature cannot help but be painful and miserable. You are trying to argue that it might possibly be working for people we have never heard of. I grant that, anything is possible. But again, saying that something is possible is very far from saying it is likely.

[UtahDan]

You kinda sound like a heartbroken mother of an exmo.

Perhaps so, but I've got evidence on my side.

[UtahDan]

The lack of successful stories can mean either 1) no one talks about them because they work or 2) there are none.

You are assuming #1, UD #2. I think there are not very many, if any, such relationships that work long term. The ones the do not work are extremely destructive for all involved, eespecially if the kids continue going to church learning that the parent with SSA is sinful. The people I know that have gone through are some of the most active (straight) people I know campaigning for gay rights as a direct reaction to the personal pain they've suffered.

Part of my reaction here is virtually all the stories I have heard end in epic meltdowns. Not just, meh, it didn't work out. My feelings here are coming from a place of sympathy for these people.