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Mormons leave the church for a lot of obvious reasons. These include the fraudulence in respect of historicity (ongoing as well as past fraudulence), the inistitutional anti-intellectualism, the historical racism (actually current racism given the failure to come to terms with history and repudiate racist teachings by men adored by the LDS church), current sexism and homophobia, being generally on the wrong side of all the great civil liberties issues in our country's history (what could be more important for prophets to get right?), distaste for paying tithing, sheer agony and boredome of meetings (see, e.g., the what I learned in church this week thread), the Lord of the Flies culture including local leadership culture (ever debriefed anyone who's been in a church court (no, I haven't nor would I attend)?), the lack of artistry anywhere, indeed a pervasive hostility for much artistry, puritanical attitudes toward some of the finer humanistic aspects of life (like wine, lattes, sex, etc.); in short, a will and desire to live fully, to suck from the marrow of life. These are all excellent reasons to leave the LDS church, and I have only scratched the surface of reasons to leave. Any one of them should suffice.
The more interesting question BY FAR is why anyone stays. Seriously.
I went on a mission, was a Zone leader (after 10 months!), was active for 23 years. I was even a ward clerk. Here is my best experience in an LDS church, and it happened after I apostatized: When I blessed my oldest daughter. This is the only ordinance I ever performed on my children in an LDS church. For some reason I agreed to do it. All of us brothers and fathers and brothers-in-laws held this tiny six pound girl in the palms of our hands. All of a sudden she started to scream. I winced and started to talk. Suddenly, at the sound of my voice, she went absolutely silent, our eyes locked, and she stayed that way till the end of the blessing. That is my greatest experience in an LDS Church, and it has nothing to do with LDS per se. It has to do with her hearing my voice through the previous ten or so months, and the unconditional love of a young father for his daughter and oldest child.
After many years of intense experience with the LDS church, this is the thread that connects me to it in a positive way, and it must be weighed against all the negative stuff some of which I have noted above.
The most interesting thing of all is why progressive Mormons stay. They may be the most inscrutable people of all in the LDS orbit.
The more interesting question BY FAR is why anyone stays. Seriously.
I went on a mission, was a Zone leader (after 10 months!), was active for 23 years. I was even a ward clerk. Here is my best experience in an LDS church, and it happened after I apostatized: When I blessed my oldest daughter. This is the only ordinance I ever performed on my children in an LDS church. For some reason I agreed to do it. All of us brothers and fathers and brothers-in-laws held this tiny six pound girl in the palms of our hands. All of a sudden she started to scream. I winced and started to talk. Suddenly, at the sound of my voice, she went absolutely silent, our eyes locked, and she stayed that way till the end of the blessing. That is my greatest experience in an LDS Church, and it has nothing to do with LDS per se. It has to do with her hearing my voice through the previous ten or so months, and the unconditional love of a young father for his daughter and oldest child.
After many years of intense experience with the LDS church, this is the thread that connects me to it in a positive way, and it must be weighed against all the negative stuff some of which I have noted above.
The most interesting thing of all is why progressive Mormons stay. They may be the most inscrutable people of all in the LDS orbit.
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