Funniest Church moments of the past 20 years.

[RC Vikings]

I think we need an update on Robert Applegate.

[Color Me Badd Fan]

I think we need an update on Robert Applegate.

A good starting point would be googling Corcoran, California.

[Tim]

I think we need an update on Robert Applegate.

Hmm... They moved soon after that. With the breakup, Earlene could no longer afford the house, so they moved to an apartment in another ward. I never heard from them again before I moved to Provo when I was 18. I haven't seen Robert Applegate since that fateful day.

I will have to call my dad, though, and ask him whatever happened to the Applegates.

[byu71]

[QUOTE=Tim;62352]I'm 17 years old. Ridgecrest 4th Ward, Ridgecrest, California. Fast and Testimony meeting one month. Tom Miller's dad has just died. He gets up and gives a Weep-u-mony. The whole congregation, myself included, weeps with him. While he's walking back down to his seat, he breathes out and a 2-inch-wide snot bubble bursts out of his nose. This thing was a perfect globe! Like the kind of bubble you see on the front of a pack of Bubble Yum. A perfect sphere. Apparently my best friend Ian and I were the only two people that saw it, because we both burst out into laughter. My mom smacked me on the arm and told me to shut up.

[Edit: It now appears that I have two best friends, wuapinmon and this "Ian." I tell you that I'm not a best friend whore, though. Ian was my best friend in high school. wuapinmon is my best friend in adulthood.]

I started typing in the wrong spot. The F word story was awesome.

That was awesome and this won't be as good I will say up front. However, it did remind me of my oldest, primary and my ex. First off I will flat out say when I was married and raising kids I never, ever used the F bomb. I thought it was for truck drivers until I joined Price Waterhouse and found it was a favorite word amongst partners. I digress, but again emphasize, I nor my ex ever used the word.

Well, in Cal. we attended the same ward as my folks. My wife comes out after chruch with my 4 year old in tow. Tears in her eyes and bewilderment in hers. She informs me everyone in the Ward will hate us. On and on she goes crying and crying. Of course the problem was in Primary my oldest I guess blurted out the F word and I could not convince her the ward members would accept he didn't learn it from us. Finally in desperation I told her if there were any ward members who held it against us falsely, as far as I was concerned they could go frick themselves.

We did later find out some naughty little 8 year old in the apartment complex taught him the word.

[SoonerCoug]

A few funny moments:

1) A guy in a singles ward announcing that he has a "coat fetish" during testimony meeting.

2) A priest saying "shit" into the microphone when he screwed up the sacrament prayer.

3) A lady bearing her testimony about how awesome the Iraq War is because we're going to get to build a temple in Baghdad.

[FN Phat]

My FIL telling a story about how my BIL is a honeymoon baby. He went on to say that his "fishies" are strong swimmers. That Hawaiians are very strong swimmers. The bishopric was chuckling off and on for about 10 minutes afterward. I had to excuse myself b/c I couldn't breath due to my laughter.

[SteelBlue]

My personal favorite (in hindsight) was when Cody Judy got taken down and guys were punching and kicking him while 20,000 people were singing "We Thank Thee of God For A Prophet."

"Don't mess with the Elders of Israel."

[Clark Addison]

"Don't mess with the Elders of Israel."

The guy who said that, as he was tackling Judy, was a guy I taught in the MTC. One of my many brushes with fame.

I can't for the life of me remember his name right now, but I do remember that when I found out, I thought, "Yeah, that sounds like him all right".

[Non Sequitur]

I was 18 and went to the missionary farewell of girlfriend's brother. She had an inactive 17 year old brother who was in a rock band. Kid looked like a teenage Keith Richards. They wanted to include him in his brother's farewell so they talked him into singing with his father and brother in the program. To further involve the kid, they asked him introduce the hymn they were going to sing. The kid walks up to the podium, tight designer jeans, shirt unbuttoned halfway to his navel, gold chains, brushes back his hair and announces, "Yeah, the tune we're gonna do for you today..."
I never like the kid until that moment.

[New Mexican Disaster]

Second week at BYU, is a fast and testimony meeting.

Bishop Warner gets up and bears his testimony something to the effect "I know ow hard it is to live the law of chastity. In fact at work there are some nurses that always want to have sex with me and pour hot oil and mayonnaise all over my naked body. Sometimes I want to let them."

Dead silence, except for yours truly braying with laughter on the top row seats in the Maeser building. Several people got up and walked out. That was the bishop's last week as our bishop.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Second week at BYU, is a fast and testimony meeting.

Bishop Warner gets up and bears his testimony something to the effect "I know ow hard it is to live the law of chastity. In fact at work there are some nurses that always want to have sex with me and pour hot oil and mayonnaise all over my naked body. Sometimes I want to let them."

Dead silence, except for yours truly braying with laughter on the top row seats in the Maeser building. Several people got up and walked out. That was the bishop's last week as our bishop.

Warner, eh?

First name?

[New Mexican Disaster]

Warner, eh?

First name?

Oh that I knew. It was not Paul if that is who you are thinking. I believe he was from Orem, but I did not get to know him well since he was only there for a couple of weeks.

He was a short, swarthy man, with glasses and very broad.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Oh that I knew. It was not Paul if that is who you are thinking. I believe he was from Orem, but I did not get to know him well since he was only there for a couple of weeks.

He was a short, swarthy man, with glasses and very broad.

Aha. That doesn't sound like any of the Warners I know.

Paul has a good sense of humor, but I certainly didn't think it was him.

In any case, it sounds like a great way to get out of a calling.

[YOhio]

Doesn't it seem suspicious that so many people have a story about a slow-reading Priest who mumbled a curse word into the mic after messing up the sacrament prayer? I'm sure it's happened before, but I've been hearing stories like this for years. Sounds a little urban legendy.

[wuapinmon]

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