Funniest Church moments of the past 20 years.

[PaloAltoCougar]

Hey mods, you need to add the button to 'Thank' or Star a post.
Some of these are AWESOME!

I would like to endorse this request.

"So let it be written."

I don't mean to stifle contributions to the board suggestion box, but this will not happen, lest the board become an annoying, star-whoring cesspool. There are many very insightful, clever and funny people on this board and we don't need a scoring system to acknowledge that.

[Rickomatic]

I don't mean to stifle contributions to the board suggestion box, but this will not happen, lest the board become an annoying, star-whoring cesspool. There are many very insightful, clever and funny people on this board and we don't need a scoring system to acknowledge that.

So there won't be any of the 'gold star on your forehead' kind of things on this site?

[Jeff Lebowski]

Best thread ever.

I will give some contributions to this when I get some time at work.

I would like to endorse this request.

"So let it be written."

So there won't be any of the 'gold star on your forehead' kind of things on this site?

It is not a native part of vbulletin. There are a couple of add-ons that provide this feature, but they appear to be buggy. I like to minimize add-ons as much as possible.

[Indy Coug]

It is not a native part of vbulletin. There are a couple of add-ons that provide this feature, but they appear to be buggy. I like to minimize add-ons as much as possible.

Speaking of which, when are we going to v5?

[Jeff Lebowski]

Speaking of which, when are we going to v5?

I won't even think about it for another year. Still in beta.

There is a new version of v4 out that has a few new features. I will update that when I get a chance.

[Indy Coug]

I won't even think about it for another year. Still in beta.

There is a new version of v4 out that has a few new features. I will update that when I get a chance.

You weren't supposed to take my question seriously, but thanks for the info anyway.

[Jeff Lebowski]

You weren't supposed to take my question seriously, but thanks for the info anyway.

Just in case someone thought you were serious!

[Moliere]

I won't even think about it for another year. Still in beta.

There is a new version of v4 out that has a few new features. I will update that when I get a chance.

Consider the first week of July since it is quarter close, which is a great time to have the site down for 3 days.

[Guest]

When I was in a student ward at USU we had a kid walk in during FTM, walk directly up to the podium, then go on rant calling certain people a**holes. Nobody had ever seen the kid before or since. Fortunately for the experience of those in attendance, the bishopric hadn't fully awakened from their naps until the kid was done and walked out.

[Indy Coug]

There was a girl in my freshman Helaman Halls ward that got up and bore her testimony. She immediately began crying, saying what a terrible week it had been and then cited her bad haircut as the key example of her bad week. There is nothing more entertaining than FTM in a BYU freshman ward.

[Eddie]

A while back this nice old lady showed up in dress slacks (asking if she was dressed OK to be there) for church. She was about an hour early, but that's OK. She took a look around, and then told us that she owned the place. Her parents had given it to her. We just smiled and nodded.

When we were done with the sacrament and as the YM were all headed to their seats, the doors to the foyer opened and a couple of nice young ladies in scrubs quietly came in and pulled the older woman from the pew where she was sitting. Apparently she had come for a visit from the Alzheimer's unit across the street.

[TXJason]

I used to live in Oregon, the EQ President was basically a huge kid (he was about 45 years old, 6'5 and wieghed about 350 pounds). He was asked to speak in Sacrament meeting. I was a new counselor in the Bishopric and I happened to be conducting. he walked up to me right before the meeting and said "is it okay if i tell a joke and make you the punchline?" I said, "sure." I hindsight, I should have probably thought that through.

So, he gets up to start his talk and says "Jason asked me to speak today, but I'm an emotional guy and I always cry like a boob. Then Jason said, that's okay, because I like big boobs!" the Bishop sat and stared straight ahead like he didnt hear anything, and the other counselor and I looked down and laughed so hard we were shaking.

After the meeting, I got lectured by several older women for being innapropriate and vulgar. I explained to them that it was a joke and none of that conversation had ever taken place.

Then they went over and lectured the EQ president. Apparantly, he got so much crap that day that he came over to my house that night with his wife and a pan of brownies as a peace offering. He cried as he told me he was sorry for embarrasing me. Still one of the funniest things I have ever seen...

Well, this one is far crazier. Shortly after graduating college we were living in some aparments in murray. It was a wierd ward. It was either retired people, or very young couples. The entire ward consisted of the apartments and condos in the stake boundries. During one sacrament meeting, a sister who was single and slightly crazy got up and bore her testimony. During the middle she stopped and said "I was molested by my bishop when I was younger." And the she fainted and dropped to the floor. I never saw her after that. The sad thing is Im not sure if she was crazy and made that story up, or it really happened and that made her crazy.

[smokymountainrain]

I used to live in Oregon, the EQ President was basically a huge kid (he was about 45 years old, 6'5 and wieghed about 350 pounds). He was asked to speak in Sacrament meeting. I was a new counselor in the Bishopric and I happened to be conducting. he walked up to me right before the meeting and said "is it okay if i tell a joke and make you the punchline?" I said, "sure." I hindsight, I should have probably thought that through.

So, he gets up to start his talk and says "Jason asked me to speak today, but I'm an emotional guy and I always cry like a boob. Then Jason said, that's okay, because I like big boobs!" the Bishop sat and stared straight ahead like he didnt hear anything, and the other counselor and I looked down and laughed so hard we were shaking.

After the meeting, I got lectured by several older women for being innapropriate and vulgar. I explained to them that it was a joke and none of that conversation had ever taken place.

Then they went over and lectured the EQ president. Apparantly, he got so much crap that day that he came over to my house that night with his wife and a pan of brownies as a piece offering. He cried as he told me he was sorry for embarrasing me. Still one of the funniest things I have ever seen...

Very funny.