Question about Father's Blessings

[Portland Ute]

technically he doesn't have keys, which (at least according to recent interpretations) only apply to priesthood leadership. He does hold power in the priesthood, and needs no keys to perform a non saving ordinance when asked or moved to do so.

Good clarification.

Regardless...

[pellegrino]

Good clarification.

Regardless...

precisely.

Give the kid a blessing, DNW!

[doctorcoug]

Sounds like less of a church policy issue and more like divorce-control issue.

[smokymountainrain]

FWIW: here's the official party line.I'm with you, though, DNW! If a father wants to bless his kids, I think he has that right. Even if all it does is reassure a child of a father's care, it's more than done its job. Regardless of religious convictions, a father's love is authority enough, IMO.

Looks like official party line is with him as well. So...with Solon's blessing and the CHOI's blessing, you're good to go DNW.

[Solon]

I saw nothing in the text that you cited that stated a minimum standard of worthiness for that ordinance. Furthermore, they have changed the policy regarding baby blessings and now allow fathers who do not have temple recommends to give their children a name and blessing in church, and they may also baptize but not confirm their children. IMO, DNW should go ahead and give his kid a blessing and not worry about what his ex or her bishop say.

I agree that there's no stated minimum standard of worthiness for Melchizidek priesthood holders, but I personally believe that it's not necessary to hold any priesthood. Any father can bless his kids in the way that DNW! described (i.e. without invoking priesthood).

Not that that matters in DNW!'s circumstance. As the Pilgrim points out, a MP holder, albeit less-active, can invoke priesthood in his blessing and still not run afoul of the CHOI (whew!).

Splitting hairs, I know. Good luck, DNW!

[WashingtonCoug]

Except that it did.

What? It affected him by her telling him that she talked to the Bishop? Ouch! That is really painful.

[Do Not Want!]

Thanks all for your thoughts and support. I guess the part that really throws me is that I can't imagine what possible harm could have been done. Must be a divorce issue.

Thanks for the CHOI reference, and I did find that conference talk:

Over ten years ago a teenage boy requested a blessing from President Ezra Taft Benson. Even though the boy’s father was not an active elder, President Benson asked, “How would you like to talk to him at an opportune time and ask him if he would be willing to give you a father’s blessing?” Though doubtful, the young man agreed to try. He later reported:

“Brother Benson, that’s the sweetest thing that has happened in our family. … He gave me one of the most beautiful blessings you could ever ask for. … When he got through there was a bond of appreciation and gratitude and love between us that we have never had in our home” (Ensign, Nov. 1977, p. 32).

It was repeated by Dallin H. Oaks in conference April 1987.

[Tex]

I'm not currently active in the church, but I am an Elder. I wouldn't feel worthy to officiate in priesthood ordinances, however I figured it would still be fine to give my kids a father's blessing at the beginning of the school year.

Had a conversation with my ex today, and she says she didn't feel it was right, and that her bishop backed her up, saying that it was inappropriate for me to do so. I told her that pretty much any father can bless his children, but as I've been looking, I can't find anything to back me up.

Am I totally off base? Anything to support my side, or if I don't hold a TR, I'm not supposed to put my hands on my kids' heads for a prayer of comfort?

I didn't invoke priesthood authority if that's a meaningful distinction.

Your first paragraph confuses me a little. A father's blessing is a priesthood ordinance. If you don't feel worthy to officiate in ordinances, wouldn't that preclude a blessing too?

On the other hand, if you're not invoking priesthood authority then what you're really saying is a prayer. Whether or not you're an Elder, or put your hands on a persons head, or call it a "blessing" is really immaterial at that point, as it doesn't add to the power of the prayer. The CHOI is also irrelevant.

I don't see why any father could not pronounce a prayer of blessing upon his children at any time he wishes, but it's not the same as the priesthood ordinance of a father's blessing. I would assume that's the distinction the bishop was making, getting the story 2nd hand as he was.

[NorthwestUteFan]

What? It affected him by her telling him that she talked to the Bishop? Ouch! That is really painful.

Multiple friends, coworkers, and relatives have told me that you can't really understand an ex-wife until you actually have an ex-wife. I don't want to understand them...

Many times I have seen otherwise rational, moral, honest, and genuinely nice people become bitter, vindictive, manipulative, emotionally destructive, and aggressively hostile harpies after a divorce. It is even worse when children are involved.

I don't know about the relationship between DNW and his ex, but on the surface it appears she is attempting to control him through church-related guilt. Who knows, perhaps she is angling for a change in the child support or visitation agreement and is hoping for ecclesiastical backing to support her agenda.

DNW, you are good to go. Any father can give his child a blessing. FWIW, my wife has a good friend who is not a member of the church. Her father is a part-time pastor in their church, and they practice giving blessings through the laying on of hands. It is a Christian thing to do, and not exclusively Mormon.

[jay santos]

Most likely your ex is manipulating you. I doubt your ex's bishop would be telling her you're not worthy to give your kids a father's blessing. Unless you're a child molester that steals money from old ladies and kills kittens or the ex's bishop is a supreme idiot.

[Tex]

Most likely your ex is manipulating you. I doubt your ex's bishop would be telling her you're not worthy to give your kids a father's blessing. Unless you're a child molester that steals money from old ladies and kills kittens or the ex's bishop is a supreme idiot.

One second here. Did the bishop tell her that? Or did the ex-wife tell her bishop that he himself said he doesn't feel worthy?

Because that's what he said in his initial post.

[wuapinmon]

One second here. Did the bishop tell her that? Or did the ex-wife tell her bishop that he himself said he doesn't feel worthy?

Because that's what he said in his initial post.

Why did you delete me from your quote list?

[NorthwestUteFan]

He said he didn't feel right participating in priesthood ordinances, but had no problem with giving a father's blessing.

The ex-wife stated SHE didn't feel right about him giving a fathers' blessing to his kids and that the bishop backed her up.

Sadly I think jay santos is precisely correct. The ex-wife and the ex-bishop may be robbing DNW of a general conference talk-type of moment, to the detriment of all concerned (especially the kids).

[jay santos]

One second here. Did the bishop tell her that? Or did the ex-wife tell her bishop that he himself said he doesn't feel worthy?

Because that's what he said in his initial post.

Had a conversation with my ex today, and she says she didn't feel it was right, and that her bishop backed her up, saying that it was inappropriate for me to do so.

[Do Not Want!]

He said he didn't feel right participating in priesthood ordinances, but had no problem with giving a father's blessing.

The ex-wife stated SHE didn't feel right about him giving a fathers' blessing to his kids and that the bishop backed her up.

This is my understanding of the situation. I don't know the precise details of their conversation, as I only have it 2nd hand from her.

Sadly I think jay santos is precisely correct. The ex-wife and the ex-bishop may be robbing DNW of a general conference talk-type of moment, to the detriment of all concerned (especially the kids).

Nah. I'll do what I feel is right. I just won't do it around her. We did it last time at her house (for timing and convenience, and because I had no idea that she would object) and I guess that was a problem.