Lame Church Euphemisms

[wuapinmon]

So, we had a combined meeting yesterday to introduce our ward to www.mormon.org. In a lengthy meeting, our loaded bishop bore his testimony to our lower-middle-class ward about how adopting new technology "early" was a great thing, and a great way to share the Gospel, only to have his laptop not be able to play sound with the videos.

However, the part that really bothered me, truly, was a subtle bit of euphemism that is characteristic of Mormon church rhetoric (we need a Summon SIEQ card). When describing the making of profiles and answering questions others have posed on the site, one of the zone leaders quoted either their mission president or the area authority (I can't remember which) as saying that the webpage was, and I quote, "sticky."

Now, at first I thought they meant that the page had a few bugs, and that everything didn't work right. No, that wasn't it.

It dawned on me as they continued discussing the word that they were using "sticky" to imply that you couldn't get away from it, that it would stick to you and you'd spend "lots of time on it."

So, sticky is the new buzzword, brethren. We no longer refer to Church things as "addictive." No, things that serve a righteous purpose cannot be called "addictive." They are henceforth to be called, "sticky." We also should not call mormon.org "habit-forming" or "mesmerizing" I would imagine.

[DapperDan]

Sounds like the Church's obsession with porn is really getting out of hand.

[Goatnapper'96]

So, we had a combined meeting yesterday to introduce our ward to www.mormon.org. In a lengthy meeting, our loaded bishop bore his testimony to our lower-middle-class ward about how adopting new technology "early" was a great thing, and a great way to share the Gospel, only to have his laptop not be able to play sound with the videos.

However, the part that really bothered me, truly, was a subtle bit of euphemism that is characteristic of Mormon church rhetoric (we need a Summon SIEQ card). When describing the making of profiles and answering questions others have posed on the site, one of the zone leaders quoted either their mission president or the area authority (I can't remember which) as saying that the webpage was, and I quote, "sticky."

Now, at first I thought they meant that the page had a few bugs, and that everything didn't work right. No, that wasn't it.

It dawned on me as they continued discussing the word that they were using "sticky" to imply that you couldn't get away from it, that it would stick to you and you'd spend "lots of time on it."

So, sticky is the new buzzword, brethren. We no longer refer to Church things as "addictive." No, things that serve a righteous purpose cannot be called "addictive." They are henceforth to be called, "sticky." We also should not call mormon.org "habit-forming" or "mesmerizing" I would imagine.

Using "sticky" in that manner is a marketing term. I think the business world used it before mormons.

[pellegrino]

Using "sticky" in that manner is a marketing term. I think the business world used it before mormons.

what does that tell you about our church?

[marsupial]

Bad euphemisms I can think of:

same sex attraction = gay
heavy petting = foreplay
sweet spirit = ugly

[Jeff Lebowski]

what does that tell you about our church?

That we pick up on trends in society?

[beefytee]

Bad euphemisms I can think of:

same sex attraction = gay
heavy petting = foreplay
sweet spirit = ugly

Good euphemism: licking the cupcake

[TripletDaddy]

So, sticky is the new buzzword, brethren. We no longer refer to Church things as "addictive." No, things that serve a righteous purpose cannot be called "addictive." They are henceforth to be called, "sticky." We also should not call mormon.org "habit-forming" or "mesmerizing" I would imagine.

No longer? When did we ever refer to Church things as "addictive?"

[wuapinmon]

No longer? When did we ever refer to Church things as "addictive?"

I take it you're not a family history buff.

[wuapinmon]

That we pick up on trends in society?

One thing my wife said that she liked about the website (and the larger message that prompted its creation) is that she feels like we're finally throwing off the insular pride of the "peculiar people" moniker, painting ourselves as workaday folks who happen to be Mormon.

[YOhio]

I'd like to see wuap's "I'm a Mormon" commercial.

I'm wuap. I teach Spanish. I can my own pickles. I wear a guayabera and I'm a Mormon.

[wuapinmon]

I'd like to see wuap's "I'm a Mormon" commercial.

I'm wuap. I teach Spanish. I can my own pickles. I wear a guayabera and I'm a Mormon.

I love yours, YOhio. It was mesmerizing.

[YOUTUBE]ooddgYq4-is[/YOUTUBE]

[Moliere]

One of our sacrament meeting talks was based on BKP's "we shouldn't call ourselves Mormon" talk. I love the way the marketing arm is putting him in his place.

And the "I'm a Mormon" website isn't sticky or addictive. It's actually quite boring.

[Katy Lied]

And the "I'm a Mormon" website isn't sticky or addictive. It's actually quite boring.

it's getting a lot of traction. There are satire's of it, as well as copycat sites for other organizations.

[Northwestcoug]

I don't think this is necessarily lame. But when I read this thread I recalled how many times President Hinkley was referred to as 'media-savvy'. For a while there was at least one general conference talk that referred to him as our 'media-savvy president'.