If you were the President of the Church

[taekwondave]

Let's say President Monson were to die today and you got a phone call from the President of the Quorum of the Twelve and the first Presidency, and they said God revealed to them you were to be the next President of the church.

Just for kicks, let's say you accepted the job. How would you shake things up? What ideas would you introduce at General Conference? What policies would you try to enact? Aside from putting chocolate milk in all the meeting house drinking fountains, of course

We talk about things we disagree with all the time, but what if it really came down to it? What would you do?

[Blueintheface]

I might as well be the first person to suggest that if that happened the time to prepare for his return had arrived.

[Commando]

Since I'm one of those wackos that believes in revelation, I wouldn't do anything other than what I was instructed to do.*



*Aside from rushing from place to place doing good for my fellow man, of course.

[Jacob]

Dissolve the Corporation of the President.

[Uncle Ted]

I would have the church HQ's moved to Texas where zion is and was actually meant to be.

[The_Tick]

Goodbye to the following:

BSofA
FoS
Honor Code Office
3 hour meeting blocks
Church Disciplinary Courts

And that is with 45 seconds of thinking...

[taekwondave]

Well, nothing comes from nothing. Obviously I was sitting around thinking about what I would do and thus, started this thread. So I probably better add my two cents.

For starters, I would try to do away with the practice of using aspects of the church as . . . how do I put this . . . rewards for good behavior? I don't like the idea of using the church as a punishment/reward system. I see no value in keeping people out of the temple stemming from the premise that their sins will somehow sully the sanctity of it. I don't see a need for a "worthiness" standard to perform acts of service or to receive saving ordinances.

The only "worthiness" that matters in my mind is willingness. If this church really thinks that it is providing a service to the dead in performing these ordinances, why be picky about which willing servants we admit inside? Did the good Samaritan look at the man on the wayside and say, "Gosh. I really wish I could help, but I broke some commandments this week and I'm just not worthy to. I'll come back after I've talked to my bishop and start taking the sacrament again."

If people WANT to do ordinances for the dead, I say let them.

The same goes for passing the sacrament. What do I care what the guy performing the service did in his personal life the week before? How does that affect me? The way I see it, if he's got personal issues he's working through, performing such acts of service would do him much more good than sitting out and filling himself with guilty, self-destructive thoughts and wondering if anybody else is guessing why he's not participating. Focusing on what you shouldn't do isn't nearly as effective as filling your time with so many positive things that there simply is no TIME to do what you shouldn't do. I see no value in decreasing the participation of struggling members in things such as ordinances and service in an effort to help them. It just gives them more free time to repeat their mistakes. Get them busy in the temple and in other areas and let the light chase the darkness away is my opinion.

Willingness is the only worthiness that matters if you ask me.

[RC Vikings]

The church would shortly become the proud owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers and a membership at Rivera Country Club. I would do my best to spread the gospel to the Jewish members at Rivera and run the ball club after my morning round. I would put pellegrino in charge of policy for the church, Sooner would be in charge of the missionary department and Triple D could be the spokesperson for the church.

[Blueintheface]

The same goes for passing the sacrament. What do I care what the guy performing the service did in his personal life the week before? How does that affect me? The way I see it, if he's got personal issues he's working through, performing such acts of service would do him much more good than sitting out and filling himself with guilty, self-destructive thoughts and wondering if anybody else is guessing why he's not participating.

What about when a priest blessing the sacrament has a mohawk and a horrible attitude? I'm sure it's mostly my problem but right now we have a priest blessing the sacrament that each and every week can't seem to read the scripted prayer and each and every week his 2nd and 3rd times through it are a sarcastic and condescending chore. He takes one look at the bishop, rolls his eyes, and starts over speaking in sort of a robotic teen monotone. It ruins the entire sacrament time and sometimes I want to rush up and smack his teeth out.

Ok, I have problems.

[Maximus]

I would be sure to only follow revelation when CUF has no problems with it.

[Color Me Badd Fan]

Goodbye Julie Beck.

There would be two classes of garments for women: Under age 40 garments and over age 40 garments. Under age 40 garments would be a thong and tops that I would outsource to Frederick's of Hollywood. Women over the age of 40 could continue to wear the current garment offerings or the new under 40 garments.

Spaghetti Straps are perfectly appropriate Sunday attire.

I would then allow for men garments that really are boxers and not just ones that say boxer on the label.

For comedy sake I would assign all the foreign GAs that have a tough time with English to all speak one conference weekend. If there aren't enough to fill all the talks, then I'd concentrate them into 1-2 sessions.

I would buy licenses to certain melodies from one-hit wonder groups' songs like In a Big Country, I Ran and Safety Dance. I would then set up a blog where members of the church could submit new gospel-related lyrics to these songs. I decide the winners and the songs get put into the new hymn book.

History would look upon me as the Trajan or Teddy Rooselvelt of the Church Presidents.

[BlueHair]

Goodbye Julie Beck.

There would be two classes of garments for women: Under age 40 garments and over age 40 garments. Under age 40 garments would be a thong and tops that I would outsource to Frederick's of Hollywood. Women over the age of 40 could continue to wear the current garment offerings or the new under 40 garments.

Spaghetti Straps are perfectly appropriate Sunday attire.

I would then allow for men garments that really are boxers and not just ones that say boxer on the label.

For comedy sake I would assign all the foreign GAs that have a tough time with English to all speak one conference weekend. If there aren't enough to fill all the talks, then I'd concentrate them into 1-2 sessions.

I would buy licenses to certain melodies from one-hit wonder groups' songs like In a Big Country, I Ran and Safety Dance. I would then set up a blog where members of the church could submit new gospel-related lyrics to these songs. I decide the winners and the songs get put into the new hymn book.

History would look upon me as the Trajan or Teddy Rooselvelt of the Church Presidents.

Men Without Hats also had Pop Goes the World!

[Green Monstah]

Dissolve the Corporation of the President.

Horrible idea. Why?

[Donuthole]

Men Without Hats also had Pop Goes the World!

That sounds like the perfect title for a new hymn about modern-day evils.

[il Padrino Ute]

Men Without Hats also had Pop Goes the World!

And A Flock of Seagulls had Spaceage Love Song and Wishing.