Chief cause of failure and unhappiness

[jay santos]

Daughter came home from church with this printout from her young women's lesson.

"The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment."

I would have to say I largely agree. And I have to say I can't think of a more perfect set up than to have my kids go to church to be taught a lesson like this by role model adults in their neighborhood that know them and care for them. I've said critical things about the church, but I love a lot about it.

[wuapinmon]

If the lesson means spiritual failure and unhappiness, then I agree.

However, I don´t think that failure and unhappiness go together in secular terms, necessarily. It´s possible to fail and be happy. Unhappiness is mostly caused by poor decisions and negativity on our part, though many people are unhappy due to biochemical processes outside of their conscious control. However, I don´t view failure as a root cause of unhappiness. Disappointment? Sure! But unhappiness carries far more punch than failure.

Back to my original point. In secular terms, I do not agree with what the lesson gives as chief causes of failure. There are many reasons why we fail, and most of them, in my experience, are because of things outside of our control. If the lesson were to rejigger that to be failure because of sloth, then perfect. But, I know lots of hard-working faithful people who are failures in business and personal relationships because they lack the skill, the intelligence, the charisma, and/or the luck/cosmic coincidence needed to be successful.

[jay santos]

If the lesson means spiritual failure and unhappiness, then I agree.

However, I don´t think that failure and unhappiness go together in secular terms, necessarily. It´s possible to fail and be happy. Unhappiness is mostly caused by poor decisions and negativity on our part, though many people are unhappy due to biochemical processes outside of their conscious control. However, I don´t view failure as a root cause of unhappiness. Disappointment? Sure! But unhappiness carries far more punch than failure.

Back to my original point. In secular terms, I do not agree with what the lesson gives as chief causes of failure. There are many reasons why we fail, and most of them, in my experience, are because of things outside of our control. If the lesson were to rejigger that to be failure because of sloth, then perfect. But, I know lots of hard-working faithful people who are failures in business and personal relationships because they lack the skill, the intelligence, the charisma, and/or the luck/cosmic coincidence needed to be successful.

1. I don't think unhappiness and failure are meant to be mutually exclusive in this case, or at least not as I read it. So you can read it both as blah blah blah is chief cause of unhappiness and blah blah blah is chief cause of failure and look at them individually.

2. As to the application of this phrase to failure, first the goal must be reasonably attainable. I want to play in the NBA is not. I want to be rich someday is. After that, I agree with the saying. Another difference may be that I have a very strong belief in the power of an individual to become what they want to be in this world.

[wuapinmon]

2. As to the application of this phrase to failure, first the goal must be reasonably attainable. I want to play in the NBA is not. I want to be rich someday is. After that, I agree with the saying. Another difference may be that I have a very strong belief in the power of an individual to become what they want to be in this world.

The bolded portion is not an uncommon view of the world in our church. The Americanization of our faith started from Day 1, but I´ve found that this staunch belief in economic self-determination is not anywhere as strong outside the 50 States, and even then, in the USA minorities often feel powerless in the face of Capitalism (with a capital C). Nevertheless, they push on, because the alternative is insignificance, and we´re all dreamers.

[RobinFinderson]

Daughter came home from church with this printout from her young women's lesson.

"The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment."

I would have to say I largely agree. And I have to say I can't think of a more perfect set up than to have my kids go to church to be taught a lesson like this by role model adults in their neighborhood that know them and care for them. I've said critical things about the church, but I love a lot about it.

If this quote referred to worldly goals, like working to have success in your marriage or career, I would read it as a decent aphorism worthy of printing on a poster with a waterfall in the background.

Unfortunately the religious source of the quote makes it a subtle and sinister threat of hellfire and damnation, a tweet-style rendering of Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God for the Big Self-Esteem generation. Want your guilt complex packaged neat with a bow? Look no further.

[Uncle Ted]

After reading this article I got the impression that much unhappiness and even failure comes from having a long commute...

Your Commute Is Killing You

Long commutes cause obesity, neck pain, loneliness, divorce, stress, and insomnia.

This week, researchers at Umea University in Sweden released a startling finding: Couples in which one partner commutes for longer than 45 minutes are 40 percent likelier to divorce.

[...]

In the past decade or so, researchers have produced a significant body of research measuring the dreadfulness of a long commute. People with long transit times suffer from disproportionate pain, stress, obesity, and dissatisfaction. The joy of living in a big, exurban house, or that extra income leftover from your cheap rent? It is almost certainly not worth it.

[...]

How much would we need to be compensated to make up for the hellish experience of a long commute? Two economists at the University of Zurich, Bruno Frey and Alois Stutzer, actually went about quantifying it, in a now famous 2004 paper entitled "Stress That Doesn't Pay: The Commuting Paradox." They found that for an extra hour of commuting time, you would need to be compensated with a massive 40 percent increase in salary to make it worthwhile.

But wait: Isn't the big house and the time to listen to the whole Dylan catalog worth something as well? Sure, researchers say, but not enough when it comes to the elusive metric of happiness. Given the choice between that cramped apartment and the big house, we focus on the tangible gains offered by the latter. We can see that extra bedroom. We want that extra bathtub. But we do not often use them. And we forget that additional time in the car is a constant, persistent, daily burden—if a relatively invisible one.

[BlueHair]

I like the saying and think it applies in most areas of my life.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Ignore them, Jay. That's a good quote.

[RobinFinderson]

Ignore them, Jay. That's a good quote.

I agree. Do you think it would go better with kittens or puppies?

[jay santos]

The bolded portion is not an uncommon view of the world in our church. The Americanization of our faith started from Day 1, but I´ve found that this staunch belief in economic self-determination is not anywhere as strong outside the 50 States, and even then, in the USA minorities often feel powerless in the face of Capitalism (with a capital C). Nevertheless, they push on, because the alternative is insignificance, and we´re all dreamers.

Agree. And if you haven't noticed, I'm a big grace, anti-legalism guy.

As it relates to salvation, I abhor the doctrine.

As it relates to this world and how I'm going to get from point A to point B in my life regarding any aspiration: school, career, sport, relationship, self mastery, I could no be a bigger proponent of the idea.

[TripletDaddy]

Ignore them, Jay. That's a good quote.

Does it withstand any sort of scrutiny though? Is that really the chief cause of failure and unhappiness? I'm not so sure. As a quote it is catchy but there are so many scenarios in which failure results from something other than ones own selfish, shortsighted behavior. I think the same applies to unhappiness, which I would separate from "sadness."

[creekster]

Does it withstand any sort of scrutiny though? Is that really the chief cause of failure and unhappiness? I'm not so sure. As a quote it is catchy but there are so many scenarios in which failure results from something other than ones own selfish, shortsighted behavior. I think the same applies to unhappiness, which I would separate from "sadness."

I dint think the statement is meant to apply to sadness, which may be why it uses the word unhappiness instead of sadness. I am not so sure about its application to the borader notion of failures (although I think it is a good principle that is being taught, especially to youth) but I do think it is true for the notion of happiness.

[Babs]

Does it withstand any sort of scrutiny though? Is that really the chief cause of failure and unhappiness?

It reminds me a little of those posters they used to put up at offices - the ones with a picture of an eagle in flight or a mountain at sunrise, along with slanted script offering some sort of seemingly impressive but largely meaningless platitude.

[jay santos]

It reminds me a little of those posters they used to put up at offices - the ones with a picture of an eagle in flight or a mountain at sunrise, along with slanted script offering some sort of seemingly impressive but largely meaningless platitude.

lol, everything's largely meaningless. Is there anything you teach your kids that's not largely meaningless? I'd love to hear.

[SportUTE]

It reminds me a little of those posters they used to put up at offices - the ones with a picture of an eagle in flight or a mountain at sunrise, along with slanted script offering some sort of seemingly impressive but largely meaningless platitude.

I particularly like the despair.com versions: