Lingering Mission Guilt

[Green Monstah]

In my last area, my MP "pity-called" me to be ZL (that's what we called it when an MP wouldn't otherwise call someone to a position unless it was his last area). I had a rough group of guys, but I liked them and was getting a bit trunky.

One day an Elder called me and said, "There's this girl I like in my ward. I've reactivated her and her mom. What should I do?"

I talked with him at length about the issue and what was/wasn't appropriate. Since he was so forthcoming (and the fact that he lived with a ZL from a neighboring zone due to odd zone boundaries), I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

After she left him a bunch of b-day presents in his bedroom (missionaries didn't lock doors in my mission), I told the MP that this elder should probably be transferred, and he was. Two weeks later she came to his new apartment (40 mins away), and gave him a blowie. He immediately confessed and went home.

I think about that kid all the time. I lost touch with him, but have this nagging feeling that if I'd just told the MP "Hey, this kid is in love with this chick..get him as far away as possible" things would have worked out better in the end.

Sadly, this girl got pregnant some time later and blew off my buddy (no pun intended).

Don't know why I'm sharing, but it's really been bothering me lately (this is a decade old).

[NorthwestUteFan]

Tough call. I don't think you should beat yourself up about it though.

You should feel an extraordinary regret if you KNEW he was getting hummers, or about to, and you did nothing. Since you only knew he 'liked" her there is no culpability on your part. I assume the baby was NOT his.(?)

It takes two to tango and he assumes the blame for that one. Chances are he could have been transferred 200 miles away and they would still have found a way to get together.


My mission was SMALL, barely 40x20 miles. There were no options to "transfer somebody out of the way of danger". The Elder whom I replaced when I came into the field had a similar situation with a girl in one ward. He was transferred as far as possible away from her, but it was still only about 20 miles away. He started sneaking out very late at night to "get some air". His comp didn't think anything of it at the time and would go back to sleep. When he was unable to stay awake during the day his comp got worried, and checked up on him. It turns out he wasn't going out to walk around the yard for a few minutes as he said, but rather he was taking his bike and leaving for 5-7 hours. He was actually riding his bike back to this lady's house. She would drive him home in the morning before 5:30, he would sneak in through the window, and get a few minutes of sleep to complete the ruse.

He claimed he never went all the way, but they obviously did much. He was sent home the next day and I happened to fly into town that night, so I stayed in that area for a few weeks until transfers.

That said I wonder what could come from meeting up with him again to catch up. I hesitate to think it would be a positive experience for him, however cathartic it may be for you.

[jay santos]

In my last area, my MP "pity-called" me to be ZL (that's what we called it when an MP wouldn't otherwise call someone to a position unless it was his last area). I had a rough group of guys, but I liked them and was getting a bit trunky.

One day an Elder called me and said, "There's this girl I like in my ward. I've reactivated her and her mom. What should I do?"

I talked with him at length about the issue and what was/wasn't appropriate. Since he was so forthcoming (and the fact that he lived with a ZL from a neighboring zone due to odd zone boundaries), I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

After she left him a bunch of b-day presents in his bedroom (missionaries didn't lock doors in my mission), I told the MP that this elder should probably be transferred, and he was. Two weeks later she came to his new apartment (40 mins away), and gave him a blowie. He immediately confessed and went home.

I think about that kid all the time. I lost touch with him, but have this nagging feeling that if I'd just told the MP "Hey, this kid is in love with this chick..get him as far away as possible" things would have worked out better in the end.

Sadly, this girl got pregnant some time later and blew off my buddy (no pun intended).

Don't know why I'm sharing, but it's really been bothering me lately (this is a decade old).

I don't think you have guilt over this. I think you just wanted to tell a cool story involving a missionary blow job.

[Goatnapper'96]

I don't think you have guilt over this. I think you just wanted to tell a cool story involving a missionary blow job.

Don't ejaculate once you are not a man...ejaculate twice and you are not a missionary!

[Green Monstah]

I don't think you have guilt over this. I think you just wanted to tell a cool story involving a missionary blow job.

haha.

No, on CB there have been a lot of missionary stories the last few days (of the mystical/apocryphal sort), and I recently found this kid's number. I've been thinking a lot about the situation.

But it's a cool story, right?

[wally]

You should also feel guilty for every person in your mission geography who you didn't baptize. You could have done more. You could have done better.

[BlueHair]

He got sent home for a bj? That's a bit harsh!

[NorthwestUteFan]

We had (more than) our share of hookups, handies, and hummer stories to go around.

We had one set of Elders who were a bit too far on the wild side work the system to get put together once. Members saw them on a double date at a Dodgers game. They were split up afterward, and one of them, who only had a month or two left, was (for some strange reason) given a greenie. After a few weeks together he told the greenie that he and his last companion were going on dates with a pair of girls from the ward, and that one night after they went to a Dodgers game said girls gave them hummers in the living room. Of course the greenie was mortified.

One of the benefits of the new "higher standards" for missionaries is the purer Elders will no longer need to hear conquest stories. I had a comp tell me how he and knocked boots with the SP's daughter after the Senior Prom, and how he got the Bishop's daughter to give him a hummer, but made her brush her teeth before he would kiss her again. I liked the kid a lot (I was his trainer), but honestly it isn't good to have stories like that rattling around in ones' head while trying to tract.

[NorthwestUteFan]

He got sent home for a bj? That's a bit harsh!

We had a ZL "completely" hookup with a sister during a "PPI". It didn't come to light until months later, after said Elder was already home. IIRC he got exed, and the Sister was sent home.

[Sleeping in EQ]

*Said in a voice like Mickey from the Rocky Movies*

Redsox, get over yourself. You were not that influential and could not have been. Holding onto your guilt is a backwards way of holding on to your importance as a leader. Let it go. Better yet, let Jesus take it from you.

Moreover, Western culture does not tell males how to say "no" to women who want sex. I don't think the Church is so great at this either.

[byu71]

Come on man. How about look at the positive instead of the negative. He got a BJ, was she good lookin?

Anyway, he probably went home and repented, sounds like that type of kid. He made sure he married a great spiritual gal and one not so hot as to remind him of the mission gal. He never got a BJ again his whole life, but he became a SP.

Great story if you ask me and while he interviews some hotties in the Stake, he has some fond memories to look back on.

[HBCoug]

In my last area, my MP "pity-called" me to be ZL (that's what we called it when an MP wouldn't otherwise call someone to a position unless it was his last area). I had a rough group of guys, but I liked them and was getting a bit trunky.

One day an Elder called me and said, "There's this girl I like in my ward. I've reactivated her and her mom. What should I do?"

I talked with him at length about the issue and what was/wasn't appropriate. Since he was so forthcoming (and the fact that he lived with a ZL from a neighboring zone due to odd zone boundaries), I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

After she left him a bunch of b-day presents in his bedroom (missionaries didn't lock doors in my mission), I told the MP that this elder should probably be transferred, and he was. Two weeks later she came to his new apartment (40 mins away), and gave him a blowie. He immediately confessed and went home.

I think about that kid all the time. I lost touch with him, but have this nagging feeling that if I'd just told the MP "Hey, this kid is in love with this chick..get him as far away as possible" things would have worked out better in the end.

Sadly, this girl got pregnant some time later and blew off my buddy (no pun intended).

Don't know why I'm sharing, but it's really been bothering me lately (this is a decade old).

Take a moment and reflect upon the guilt you'd be feeling today had you denied him that beej. Think about that for a while.

[jay santos]

Take a moment and reflect upon the guilt you'd be feeling today had you denied him that beej. Think about that for a while.

No kidding he probably has great memories of that bj. I doubt he was gonna accomplish much that last year of his mission.

[jay santos]

No kidding he probably has great memories of that bj. I doubt he was gonna accomplish much that last year of his mission.

I've got years and years of my life left to do missionary work. Now that I'm married, I doubt I get another bj.

[Blueintheface]

I've got years and years of my life left to do missionary work. Now that I'm married, I doubt I get another bj.

Poor unfortunate soul.