Improving the way LDS people are perceived

[pellegrino]

In my limited experience living amongst heathens and outside of the Zion curtain, I think a lot of the reason that people don't like Mormons are Mormons themselves.

In my dental school, most of the biggest pricks were Mormons. They fit nearly all the "negative" associations mentioned in the article.

Now, that being said, it wasn't all the Mormons. Some of the coolest and most beloved students at the school were also Mormon. (Not me.)

I remember a conversation I had with a group of about 5 or 6 fellow students. At the time, I actually felt bad about it. But as time passes, I feel fine with it. Basically, as we were talking as we cleaned up our areas and sterlized our instruments, one of them mentioned something about me being Mormon. The others in the group expressed their surprise. The repeated statement was: "We didn't think you were Mormon. You aren't married with kids. You hang out with us and didn't freak out about serving alcohol at the class parties ( I don't drink and didn't then either). You act so normal."

I guess I missed a missionary opportunity during dental school with a lot of people. OTOH, maybe I was like Jimmer: Showing the world that Mormons can be normal.

So, what am I saying here? I think we as a group bring a lot of the negative perceptions on ourselves. At my school, there was a very loud minority (comprised of LDS, but NOT all the LDS) that were really assholes to be around. They whined like stuck pigs when alcohol was served at class parties. They wore their religion on their sleeve. They were in your face. They went out of their way to dissociate themselves from other class members and did nothing to get to know or develop relationships with the class. They stuck out like sore thumbs and they were not liked. And they were LDS.

I can't imagine this is a problem at only one dental school in the Northwestern U.S. I have to think it extends into workplaces, neighborhoods and schools around the country.

Interesting post. I think it was kind of like this at my medical school too. Mormons tended to be either some of the best liked or the most hated students.

I decided that for Mormons it's a very fine line between being perceived as a really normal, nice, conscientious, all-around awesome person and a holier-than-thou tool. And about half the Mormons end up crossing the line and being hated.

In the medical school setting at least, sometimes the Mormon hard-working, earnest, sober ethos is interpreted as just some older dude that thinks he is better than everybody else and tries to make the other students look bad.

Both of these posts confirm my earlier suggestion. We just need to lighten up and have a drink.

[LA Ute]

FWIW, my experience here in La-La land has been that many, if not most people have known only a few Mormons well in their lives and their opinions are often greatly colored by those acquaintances. If they liked the Mormon(s) they have known, they have a favorable view, and vice-versa.

Some people have known more Mormons and have more sophisticated view. When I got to my first law firm after law school, more than a few of my new colleagues asked me, "Are you a Mormon like [name of attorney] or a Mormon like [name of another attorney]? Or are you more like [name of yet another attorney]? All three lawyers named had joined the firm over the years and were of different levels of orthodoxy and general friendliness. I simply said I'd try to be adopt the best attributes of all three guys, which kind of reminded me (and my colleagues) that everyone is different.

At my current firm there have been many Mormons involved for many years. (The firm was founded by Jews who despite their Ivy League credentials couldn't get jobs during the New Deal at the big D.C. firms, so they had to start their own shop.) Marriott Corporation was one of the firm's first clients and the founders took J. Willard and his company public. Marriott's still an important client. As a result, there is great familiarity with Mormons and our culture, and everyone seems to understand that there are all kinds of "Mo's."

For whatever all that is worth.

[scottie]

FWIW, my experience here in La-La land has been that many, if not most people have known only a few Mormons well in their lives and their opinions are often greatly colored by those acquaintances. If they liked the Mormon(s) they have known, they have a favorable view, and vice-versa.

Some people have known more Mormons and have more sophisticated view. When I got to my first law firm after law school, more than a few of my new colleagues asked me, "Are you a Mormon like [name of attorney] or a Mormon like [name of another attorney]? Or are you more like [name of yet another attorney]? All three lawyers named had joined the firm over the years and were of different levels of orthodoxy and general friendliness. I simply said I'd try to be adopt the best attributes of all three guys, which kind of reminded me (and my colleagues) that everyone is different.

At my current firm there have been many Mormons involved for many years. (The firm was founded by Jews who despite their Ivy League credentials couldn't get jobs during the New Deal at the big D.C. firms, so they had to start their own shop.) Marriott Corporation was one of the firm's first clients and the founders took J. Willard and his company public. Marriott's still an important client. As a result, there is great familiarity with Mormons and our culture, and everyone seems to understand that there are all kinds of "Mo's."

For whatever all that is worth.

I have a friend who interviewed at a bunch (10+) of law firms in a city in the western U.S. Because of BYU on his CV, about half of them asked if he's LDS, and then a couple of those essentially asked him "How LDS are you?" In other words, is he a Mormon they could get along with?

[LA Ute]

I have a friend who interviewed at a bunch (10+) of law firms in a city in the western U.S. Because of BYU on his CV, about half of them asked if he's LDS, and then a couple of those essentially asked him "How LDS are you?" In other words, is he a Mormon they could get along with?

A flatly unlawful (and really outrageous) question to ask in an employment interview. Amazing that lawyers would ask it.

[New Mexican Disaster]

No kidding. I hope they don't practice employment law.

[myboynoah]

Be yourselves. Frankly, that's really all you can do. Being embarrassed over the actions of some co-religionists is very unappealing to me. And it isn't at all empowering.

[Maja]

Any idea what the significance of age 46 was? If someone applies himself, I don't think age 30 is that much of a stretch.

Must have hit the wrong key..it was supposed to be 36, and I think the only significance is that that's when his Dad was called into the Bishopric. I'm glad things didn't work out. I always thought he was a self-righteous prick.