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  • #16
    Gaming is addictive. But the real issue here isn't so much the correlation the mother is trying to make between gaming and her son's inactivity (a leap in my mind) but rather the way the father would undermine any authority she had in parenting.
    "Nobody listens to Turtle."
    -Turtle
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    • #17
      Originally posted by FMCoug View Post
      This is from the same talk I referenced in the other thread about sleepovers.



      This one actually bothered me a bit. I have no idea what video games the kid was playing or the whole story (and it doesn't sound like Elder Lawrence does either) but isn't it just as likely that the conflict with Mom about the video games, her hiding the controllers, etc. is as much what drove him away from Church activity as it was the games themselves?
      That's certainly possible. One significant factor is that heavy users of video games are sometimes trying to escape from other problems in their lives. In other words, excessive use of video games can be a symptom of other, deeper issues.

      Other correlates with heavy video game use include self-esteem needs and sociability needs (especially in online games).
      We all trust our own unorthodoxies.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Surfah View Post
        Gaming is addictive. But the real issue here isn't so much the correlation the mother is trying to make between gaming and her son's inactivity (a leap in my mind) but rather the way the father would undermine any authority she had in parenting.
        and vice versa....
        We all trust our own unorthodoxies.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by UtahDan View Post
          This makes me wonder whether SuperGabers has ever written to the brethern during our marriage to toss me under the bus. Super?

          I actually think the bigger problem with some gaming is its addictive quality, regardless of content. Just like alcohol and other things it is fine for most people but a real problem for a small percentage.
          In many instances, content is indeed secondary. Still, studies have shown that violent content can have adverse effects on young video game players.

          What's happening is both social and scientific. The science shows that video games stimulate fight or flight responses. They also show a gender effect, as the male brain often has a stronger fight or flight response. A similar effect has been correlated with males' enjoyment of action movies.
          We all trust our own unorthodoxies.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by RC Vikings View Post
            I'm not a anti gamer because of what it puts in their mind as much as what it keeps them away from. When my boys were young I came home from work on a beautiful summer day and they were downstairs playing a video game, well Dad went nuts and that was the last time that happened. Also I could never get Super Mario past some mine field and that made me hate them also.
            This is my problem with video games. I love them for rainy days and when it is just too bloody hot and humid to be outside for too long (I do live in Mississippi). But if it is nice outside, I want my kids out there riding their bikes, playing with their friends and getting some exercise and Vitamin D.
            What's to explain? It's a bunch of people, most of whom you've never met, who are just as likely to be homicidal maniacs as they are to be normal everyday people, with whom you share the minutiae of your everyday life. It's totally normal, and everyone would understand.
            -Teenage Dirtbag

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            • #21
              Originally posted by marsupial View Post
              This is my problem with video games. I love them for rainy days and when it is just too bloody hot and humid to be outside for too long (I do live in Mississippi). But if it is nice outside, I want my kids out there riding their bikes, playing with their friends and getting some exercise and Vitamin D.
              Mine too (full disclosure: I am a gamer, although less of one than I used to be). Video games are fine and all but I still prefer the outdoors.

              My parents were very anti gaming. As a result, every one of the boys went through a binge phase when we got out into the real world.

              There's also several other things wrong with the story:

              - hiding controllers? Really? Can't you just say no in your own home? Hiding controllers is passive aggressive bullshit.

              - clearly mom and dad aren't on the same page. That's an issue.

              - if as a teen my mom tried to convince me of something by appealing to authority figures like prophets an ensigns and such, she was doomed to fail. Being a teenager is all about flexing your muscle against the perceived man. That, more than video games, is almost certainly more to blame for inactivity.
              Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Sleeping in EQ View Post
                That's certainly possible. One significant factor is that heavy users of video games are sometimes trying to escape from other problems in their lives. In other words, excessive use of video games can be a symptom of other, deeper issues.

                Other correlates with heavy video game use include self-esteem needs and sociability needs (especially in online games).
                The same can be said about online forums.
                I'm your huckleberry.


                "I love pulling the bone. Really though, what guy doesn't?" - CJF

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by FN Phat View Post
                  The same can be said about online forums.
                  Red herring.
                  We all trust our own unorthodoxies.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by nikuman View Post
                    Mine too (full disclosure: I am a gamer, although less of one than I used to be). Video games are fine and all but I still prefer the outdoors.

                    My parents were very anti gaming. As a result, every one of the boys went through a binge phase when we got out into the real world.

                    There's also several other things wrong with the story:

                    - hiding controllers? Really? Can't you just say no in your own home? Hiding controllers is passive aggressive bullshit.

                    - clearly mom and dad aren't on the same page. That's an issue.

                    - if as a teen my mom tried to convince me of something by appealing to authority figures like prophets an ensigns and such, she was doomed to fail. Being a teenager is all about flexing your muscle against the perceived man. That, more than video games, is almost certainly more to blame for inactivity.
                    Full disclosure too: When my kids get in trouble, the Wii remotes disappear for a period of time. I can't just say you're grounded from the Wii and then expect them to comply when I am not around to police it. If my kids were that obedient, they'd never get grounded from the Wii in the first place.
                    What's to explain? It's a bunch of people, most of whom you've never met, who are just as likely to be homicidal maniacs as they are to be normal everyday people, with whom you share the minutiae of your everyday life. It's totally normal, and everyone would understand.
                    -Teenage Dirtbag

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by marsupial View Post
                      Full disclosure too: When my kids get in trouble, the Wii remotes disappear for a period of time. I can't just say you're grounded from the Wii and then expect them to comply when I am not around to police it. If my kids were that obedient, they'd never get grounded from the Wii in the first place.
                      Yeah my old man took the power supply away from the Xbox when my little brother decided to punch the wall instead of my face when we got into an argument over watching the Lakers. My dad said he'd give the power supply back when we fixed the hole. I told my brother he could fix it since he did it. So he did. Game on!
                      "Nobody listens to Turtle."
                      -Turtle
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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by marsupial View Post
                        Full disclosure too: When my kids get in trouble, the Wii remotes disappear for a period of time. I can't just say you're grounded from the Wii and then expect them to comply when I am not around to police it. If my kids were that obedient, they'd never get grounded from the Wii in the first place.
                        Agreed, but that's not what I got from the letter. What you seem to e saying is that you tell the kids that they can't use it and then you have an enforcement mechanism. Moreover, I'm gathering that your enforcement is unrelated to the pernicious evils of the device itself but rather other bad behavior (even if that bad behavior has to do with excessive video game consumption).

                        What I got from the original letter is that the controllers mysteriously disappear as a tactic in combating something that is bad per se, at least from her point of view. That approach is not unlike my mom combating my teen porn addiction by allowing me to stash a bunch of playboys under my bed so long as they remained in a locked box. And she gets to hide the key.

                        (the foregoing example was a hypothetical. My mom would have never known - she was pretty naive).
                        Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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                        • #27
                          The discussion about the dangers of video games is fine I suppose but the video game itself was not the reason the example was used in this talk. Unfortunately, I suppose FM already knew this...

                          It’s so important for husbands and wives to be united when making parenting decisions. If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted. If either feels uncomfortable about a movie, a television show, a video game, a party, a dress, a swimsuit, or an Internet activity, have the courage to support each other and say no.

                          I would like to share with you a letter from a heartbroken mother. Her teenage son gradually lost the Spirit and drifted away from Church activity. She explained how this happened: “All throughout my son’s teenage years, I worried and tried to stop him from playing violent video games. I talked to my husband and showed him articles in the Ensign and in the newspaper that cautioned about these games. But my husband felt it was OK. He said that our son wasn’t out using drugs and that I should stop worrying. There were times that I would hide the controllers, and my husband would give them back. It began to be easier for me to give in … than to fight it. I really feel that gaming is just as addictive as drugs. I would do anything to prevent other parents from going through this experience.”

                          Brothers and sisters, if your spouse doesn’t feel good about something, show respect for those feelings. When you take the easy way out by saying and doing nothing, you may be enabling destructive behavior.
                          "It's devastating, because we lost to a team that's not even in the Pac-12. To lose to Utah State is horrible." - John White IV

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by kccougar View Post
                            The discussion about the dangers of video games is fine I suppose but the video game itself was not the reason the example was used in this talk. Unfortunately, I suppose FM already knew this...
                            While I don't see video games as that big of a threat, I think he was right on with this comment regarding unity. The lack of a unified front in parenting can be disastrous. And that requires both parents occasionally making compromises.
                            "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                            "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                            "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Surfah View Post
                              Yeah my old man took the power supply away from the Xbox when my little brother decided to punch the wall instead of my face when we got into an argument over watching the Lakers. My dad said he'd give the power supply back when we fixed the hole. I told my brother he could fix it since he did it. So he did. Game on!
                              You were being unreasonable. You let your brother use your tv to play on, which had cable and he could watch DVDs on the XBOX and you wouldn't let him watch Tombstone on the big TV so you could watch Los Lakers. Selfish.
                              I'm your huckleberry.


                              "I love pulling the bone. Really though, what guy doesn't?" - CJF

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by FN Phat View Post
                                You were being unreasonable. You let your brother use your tv to play on, which had cable and he could watch DVDs on the XBOX and you wouldn't let him watch Tombstone on the big TV so you could watch Los Lakers. Selfish.
                                Surface's brother punched a hole in the wall because he couldn't watch Tombstone?
                                Fitter. Happier. More Productive.

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