Repentance and confession - What would you do?

[UtahDan]

He doesn't care about the nonsens; just goes and partakes of what he pleases and leaves the rest of it at his pleasure. Maybe you should try that.

That is what everyone does, whether they say so or not.

[RobinFinderson]

Because I have a reputation here to protect, I need to make it very clear that I have no problem with people agreeing to any HONEST Terms of Service when it comes to their personal relationships. I am on the side of honesty here, but tend to agree with SU about the nature of the LDS Terms of Service. And regarding 'honesty,' I have no problem with lying to people who don't deserve your honesty. Religious 'authorities' asking creepy probing questions about your sex life have not, in my opinion, earned your honesty by virtue of their 'authority.' Your intimate other(s) on the other hand, deserve your honesty.

[Jeff Lebowski]

I certainly was looking for discussion. Philosophical and ethical dilemmas intrigue me.

Fascinating thread cowboy. Well done.

[TripletDaddy]

I'm thinking we'd have a pretty kick ass ward basketball team. I know FN Phat and Rocky are ballers.

If our island split into 2 wards, I wouldn't care.

[RockyBalboa]

I know FN Phat and Rocky are ballers.

I used to be, but you know what they say....the older you get the better you were.

[Surfah]

Surfah, I must have missed it. You are on the island too? Awesome company. I have always wanted to learn how to surf. I will come down from the signal fire long enough to have you and DDD teach me how to ride a long board.

I'm thinking we'd have a pretty kick ass ward basketball team. I know FN Phat and Rocky are ballers.

[RobinFinderson]

I guess I am like the guys that were with the tail section of Oceanic Flight 815 and you haven't found me yet.

Surfah, I must have missed it. You are on the island too? Awesome company. I have always wanted to learn how to surf. I will come down from the signal fire long enough to have you and DDD teach me how to ride a long board.

[Surfah]

Oh my crap... at first I found myself on this island with DDD, and I thought, "Cool, I bet that guy knows how to make a heckuva mango smoothie." Then FN Phat washes up on shore, and I jealously think to myself, "Ok, I guess there is enough of DDD to go around." But now Rocky??? From now on I'm tending to the signal fire.

I guess I am like the guys that were with the tail section of Oceanic Flight 815 and you haven't found me yet.

[RobinFinderson]

I guess for me a lot of it comes down to whether you actually have the audacity to believe that keeping an egregious act secret from the person you're SUPPOSED to be closest to is an act of selflessness..aka...as some have put it here..."protecting the innocent" (highly ironic considering the act).....

or an act of covering one's own ass to the grave.....it really bugs me that someone would characterize this for some different than it really is.

For those of you in here who're married or have been.....were you in this hypothetical situation, you're basically saying after banging someone other than you're spouse, you'd keep it from her/him?

If you would keep it from her/him, don't tell me you're doing it out of love. Because that's the LAST thing it is. I've had many gals tell me, it's not so much the act, but the deception after the fact, that he was NOT HONEST WITH ME to begin with.

Oh my crap... at first I found myself on this island with DDD, and I thought, "Cool, I bet that guy knows how to make a heckuva mango smoothie." Then FN Phat washes up on shore, and I jealously think to myself, "Ok, I guess there is enough of DDD to go around." But now Rocky??? From now on I'm tending to the signal fire.

[beelzebabette]

If you're an orthodox Mormon as CardiacCoug says, what other ways are correct other than confessing to your Bishop and heeding his counsel?

I don't care to go back to another board's discussion of what constitutes an orthodox Mormon to see if there was a consensus. So, you may deem this answer incorrect.

An orthodox Mormon understands his leaders are fallible men who seek the Lord's guidance. I don't think it's out of line to say, "After praying about it I think you got this one wrong, and I'd like you to reconsider your counsel as it relates to consequences for my guiltless wife." As we've discussed, different bishops may give different advice to the same individual given identical circumstances. If, in your orthodox Mormon scenario, the bishop says the wife still has to know and you believe him to be inspired, I think the course of action is clear. If bishops got things right the first time each and every time, no one would ever get a different answer going up the chain of command.

[RockyBalboa]

I guess for me a lot of it comes down to whether you actually have the audacity to believe that keeping an egregious act secret from the person you're SUPPOSED to be closest to is an act of selflessness..aka...as some have put it here..."protecting the innocent" (highly ironic considering the act).....

or an act of covering one's own ass to the grave.....it really bugs me that someone would characterize this for some different than it really is.

For those of you in here who're married or have been.....were you in this hypothetical situation, you're basically saying after banging someone other than you're spouse, you'd keep it from her/him?

If you would keep it from her/him, don't tell me you're doing it out of love. Because that's the LAST thing it is. I've had many gals tell me, it's not so much the act, but the deception after the fact, that he was NOT HONEST WITH ME to begin with.

[Surfah]

I address this in my previous post. I use the eternal example to underscore the significance of the breach of contract. But whether we are talking about an eternal contract or a temporal one, the outcome is the same -- the wronged partner should be allowed to make an informed choice.

I actually agree with this as a matter of ethics irrespective of religion.

[FN Phat]

Of course he needs to make it right, cowboy's question was how you would go about doing so.

I still maintain there's more than one correct way (dependent on circumstances) for someone in this situation to achieve redemption, and I certainly don't dispute that for some of you that would be full disclosure to a bishop and wife.

IMO not heeding the council of his bishop, he chose to elude the consequences of being truthful, to himself and his wife. Which I don't believe to be a "correct way".

[RobinFinderson]

D&C 132:15 Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.

v. 19 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.

Per Mormon dogma, the two types of marriage are distinct.

I address this in my previous post. I use the eternal example to underscore the significance of the breach of contract. But whether we are talking about an eternal contract or a temporal one, the outcome is the same -- the wronged partner should be allowed to make an informed choice.

[beelzebabette]

Cheating on a spouse is a sin with with eternal repercussions, per Mormon dogma.

D&C 132:15 Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.

v. 19 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.

Per Mormon dogma, the two types of marriage are distinct.