Anxiety on return to temple after a long gap

[Paperback Writer]

I’m new here and have enjoyed reading posts on various LDS topics in The Foyer. Feel more than a little uneasy about asking strangers on an internet message board about something considered sacred by many but my question is one of formality. I’m looking for a little input on how to proceed with a return to the temple. A little background:

Although I’ve held a temple recommend for many years, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve attended a session. Have attended weddings and pre-dedication tours but no actual sessions. Reasons are deeply personal and are theologically related. Anyway, I feel I’ve come to terms and want to attend a session. Problem is that I feel a great amount of uneasiness because of the elapse of time and unfamiliarity with the various details of dress and ceremony.

I think the worst thing that could happen to me at this stage is for me to attend a session and feel very awkward. I already feel a fair amount of anxiety on taking this step. Really think I could use a guide but immediate family is too far distant. I don’t feel comfortable with turning to anyone in my ward since leadership comes across (at least to me) as very judgmental. Also, my ward has long been a “rumor mill”. Many would be shocked to discover that it had been so long since I attended the temple which would lead to speculation as to why.

Do temples provide an escort that could be my guide and walk me threw a session? I hope they do. If not, does anyone have any ideas?

[jay santos]

I’m new here and have enjoyed reading posts on various LDS topics in The Foyer. Feel more than a little uneasy about asking strangers on an internet message board about something considered sacred by many but my question is one of formality. I’m looking for a little input on how to proceed with a return to the temple. A little background:

Although I’ve held a temple recommend for many years, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve attended a session. Have attended weddings and pre-dedication tours but no actual sessions. Reasons are deeply personal and are theologically related. Anyway, I feel I’ve come to terms and want to attend a session. Problem is that I feel a great amount of uneasiness because of the elapse of time and unfamiliarity with the various details of dress and ceremony.

I think the worst thing that could happen to me at this stage is for me to attend a session and feel very awkward. I already feel a fair amount of anxiety on taking this step. Really think I could use a guide but immediate family is too far distant. I don’t feel comfortable with turning to anyone in my ward since leadership comes across (at least to me) as very judgmental. Also, my ward has long been a “rumor mill”. Many would be shocked to discover that it had been so long since I attended the temple which would lead to speculation as to why.

Do temples provide an escort that could be my guide and walk me threw a session? I hope they do. If not, does anyone have any ideas?

Temple workers should be helpful without making you feel awkward as far as getting you through clothes check out, locker room, and up to the starting place. Since every temple is different in that regard, you shouldn't feel awkward. From that point on, just pay attention and do what your neighbor does if you get stuck and I don't think you should have any problem.

[TripletDaddy]

Not sure if it is universal, but I know some temples will provide escorts for non-living endowment sessions.

I used to work at the Provo Temple and it was not uncommon to provide an escort, esp for the very elderly that needed help.

[All-American]

I've found it pretty tough to get too lost or disoriented in temple sessions. There are usually too many workers there, and they're more than willing to provide unrequested assistance. I've especially noticed this since I moved out of Utah to a place where the temple was of a substantially different design. You need somebody to direct you, and they are there.

It might be worth calling the temple to see if they can provide an escort, though, if it would help. Even without it, though, I think you will find that help is there.

[SoonerCoug]

One thing to do would be to go through a trial run at home where you go through the whole routine on your own, just without the movie. Plus there are plenty of web sites out there that could refresh your memory.

When I went with wife #2 for her endowment, it had been many years since I attended the temple. I did some homework and ended up looking like an old pro at the veil.

[Art Vandelay]

One thing to do would be to go through a trial run at home where you go through the whole routine on your own, just without the movie. Plus there are plenty of web sites out there that could refresh your memory.

When I went with wife #2 for her endowment, it had been many years since I attended the temple. I did some homework and ended up looking like an old pro at the veil.

Sage advice, sans the web site stuff. I'm really uncomfortable with reviewing parts of the endowment outdide the temple.

My worthless, feel free to ignore advice would be to try and avoid concentrating or worrying about the mechanics (easier said than done. I know) and focus more on what can I learn from this experience. Do I feel anything different inside the building than I do outside. Perhaps most importantly, spend some time in the Celestial room privately laying out the theological questions/struggles you have in prayer.

I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style...

[Paperback Writer]

Sage advice, sans the web site stuff. I'm really uncomfortable with reviewing parts of the endowment outdide the temple.

My worthless, feel free to ignore advice would be to try and avoid concentrating or worrying about the mechanics (easier said than done. I know) and focus more on what can I learn from this experience. Do I feel anything different inside the building than I do outside. Perhaps most importantly, spend some time in the Celestial room privately laying out the theological questions/struggles you have in prayer.

I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style...

Thanks for the advice. It's kind of a Catch-22 for me. Part of the reason for my non-attendance for temple sessions was because of theological struggles with their orgins. I've come to the conclusion, after much prayer and pondering, that I'll only come to terms with those struggles if I return to the temple.

[Moliere]

Thanks for the advice. It's kind of a Catch-22 for me. Part of the reason for my non-attendance for temple sessions was because of theological struggles with their orgins. I've come to the conclusion, after much prayer and pondering, that I'll only come to terms with those struggles if I return to the temple.

You'll find temple workers at every turn and they are literally there to help. In fact, many of them are probably somewhat bored having to sit there for so long and they are happy to help. I also like the prior suggestion to see if the temple can provide an escort to assist you.

Sometimes the feeling of being judged can be our own projected thoughts onto others. This is certainly not always the case, but in the temple you should never feel bad about asking for directions from the workers or help from the people sitting next to you.

Hopefully you have a good experience. My temple experiences increased dramatically after reading some of the posts on this board.

[jay santos]

Another thought. If you were attending with family or others that have an expectation about you knowing the temple ceremony, I could see you feeling awkward and judged. But if not, I wouldn't think a thing. In any given session you have a wide range of people who may be regulars or it may be their second or third time or they may be going back after a long break and it's typical to have people bumbling around and needing help, and I doubt if anyone thinks much anything about it as far as judging.

[Katy Lied]

You could try a W&A session. You dont have the pressure of having others there. You don't have to remember any thing. And you get to listen to some of the most beautiful prayers and blessings in existence.

[shoganai]

I’m new here and have enjoyed reading posts on various LDS topics in The Foyer. Feel more than a little uneasy about asking strangers on an internet message board about something considered sacred by many but my question is one of formality. I’m looking for a little input on how to proceed with a return to the temple. A little background:

Although I’ve held a temple recommend for many years, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve attended a session. Have attended weddings and pre-dedication tours but no actual sessions. Reasons are deeply personal and are theologically related. Anyway, I feel I’ve come to terms and want to attend a session. Problem is that I feel a great amount of uneasiness because of the elapse of time and unfamiliarity with the various details of dress and ceremony.

I think the worst thing that could happen to me at this stage is for me to attend a session and feel very awkward. I already feel a fair amount of anxiety on taking this step. Really think I could use a guide but immediate family is too far distant. I don’t feel comfortable with turning to anyone in my ward since leadership comes across (at least to me) as very judgmental. Also, my ward has long been a “rumor mill”. Many would be shocked to discover that it had been so long since I attended the temple which would lead to speculation as to why.

Do temples provide an escort that could be my guide and walk me threw a session? I hope they do. If not, does anyone have any ideas?

If it makes you feel any better, I've been to the temple regularly for all the years I've been endowed and I still sometimes get a little nervous that I'm going to mess something up and feel awkward.

[USUC]

As far as the mechanics go, you shouldn't be worrying at all. I took my endowments out two years ago just before my 31st birthday. I still have trouble remembering stuff and sometimes have to look around to see what others are doing. The workers are pretty good at noticing if you are having trouble or not. I haven't made it through a session yet without needing help in some regards (usually at the veil). I have yet to experience any sort of "judgmentalism" during a session. If there was, I didn't notice.

As far as struggling with the endowment and the origin of temple ceremonies, that's a different story. It sounds like you know what you need to do to deal with the struggles. Sometimes the reality of church history can be a shock when you've been told it happened one way and then learn in actuality it happened a different way.

[Danimal]

Just watch the temple episode of Big Love and you'll be ready to go.

[All-American]

I do usually take great pride in getting my gear on first, and I often judge those who aren't able to do it as quickly as I can.

[Sullyute]

I do usually take great pride in getting my gear on first, and I often judge those who aren't able to do it as quickly as I can.

I am sure that this was done with TIC, but I actually do the opposite. If there is anyone that is relatively close by that I notice is struggling or just slow I always slow down and pretend to readjust things until the person is ready so that they are not the last one standing with everyone looking at them. I have never understood the race to sit down first.

I would recommend that if you would prefer more help to go during the day when there are generally less people so that you can get more help. In my experience, weekday evenings and Saturday mornings are a mad house, so I would avoid those times if you can.