Coming home from mission early.

[grapevine]

To me nothing would be more embarrasing than coming home from a mission early. I finished my mission but if something happened that I got sent home I would ask to send my plane ticket as far away from home as possible. I could not face my family and others. Gossip humiliating I am sure. Belated transgressions get you sent home and now you don't go back out.

IN a talk Glenn L Pace gave he said that people that get sent home usually did things before they went to the field. Also said those exed for Adultery usually commited fornication before marriage. So people do get sent home for repeated acts of disobedience as a missionary. Facing people would be most difficult. One prominent recruiter from the treasure valley just passed away said he could face God but not his Mom if he got sent home. My sentiments exactly.

However people know more about mental illness now and there may be some things that happen in field that cause missionaries to not be able to finish. Now with bar if they don't take there medicine can't stay. Physical medical conditions that get people sent home develop after. Some things send people home.

I know someone at 23 went on mission than came home because he had back problem from giving missionaries piggy back rides. I heard. Had emotional issues and other family members do too.

So it would be humiliating to be sent home for transgressions. KNow someone that said he couldn't go because he knew he would be sent home and would not like what people thought of that. Friend got sent home.

Some do need help I think. A talk Marlin Jensen gave talked about those type of people in August ensign. It would be humiliating to be sent home for belated or mf transgressions but there are physical and emotional things that unfortuntly people get sent home for too.

[LiveCoug]

Which is sad in our culture. Missionaries who go home early should be loved and accepted, not shunned.

[Jarid in Cedar]

I know someone at 23 went on mission than came home because he had back problem from giving missionaries piggy back rides.

Isn't this a euphemism for something else?

[DapperDan]

I know a guy that chose to go MIA in the mission field rather than go home early and face his family and the shame that came with it.

[Green Monstah]

I always try to rally around the kids who get sent home. In a few instances, the lads went back out, but in others, they ditched the church completely.

We had a kid (a brilliant kid) who got sent home for emotional/mental reasons and his mom insisted that the RS Pres (my stepmom) teach a lesson on mental illness so that the sisters would stop raising their eyebrows at the poor kid. Turned out he had a good reason for going crazy. He liked dudes, and what could be worse for a gay kid than being with another male who is likely totally homophobic, and potentially young and attractive? For me it would be like having a hot chick as a companion and being told to not even look or think about her. It would drive me batshit crazy.

[grapevine]

Euphamism for being gay? He was on a Cain and could not move too well. Tell Back was bad. His family just moved into town. He had a history of problems too. Interesting. I don't know what he is up to now.

[Viking]

To me nothing would be more embarrasing than coming home from a mission early. I finished my mission but if something happened that I got sent home I would ask to send my plane ticket as far away from home as possible. I could not face my family and others. Gossip humiliating I am sure. Belated transgressions get you sent home and now you don't go back out.

So it would be humiliating to be sent home for transgressions. KNow someone that said he couldn't go because he knew he would be sent home and would not like what people thought of that. Friend got sent home.

Some do need help I think. A talk Marlin Jensen gave talked about those type of people in August ensign. It would be humiliating to be sent home for belated or mf transgressions but there are physical and emotional things that unfortuntly people get sent home for too.

these are 19 year old kids. they make mistakes. they are young, and to judge a kid even if they get sent home is moronic.

[BGRTHNUMEGO]

Which is sad in our culture. Missionaries who go home early should be loved and accepted, not shunned.

The sad part is an apparent fear and/or misunderstanding of repentance that permeates our culture all too frequently. We know nobody is perfect, we know what the Atonement is for, and we preach acceptance, forgiveness, and understanding. So why do we have young men choosing to give up 2 years of their lives to go preach about principles they themselves are too afraid to practice?

[statman]

I went to my 25th anniverary mission reunion over the weekend. Heard stories that I'd never heard on the mission. Man was my Mission President a forgiving guy. Elders got drunk at Oktoberfest and didn't get sent home. Others got caught in various European cities well outside our mission boundaries without getting sent home (at various times Elders from our mission (Munich) got caught in Berlin, Vienna & Bern where they ran into (or sought out, not sure which in each case) Elders in those missions who ratted them out). One guy disappeared for a couple days without any repurcussions excpet he was demoted to a junior comp for the rest of his mission.

At the reunion, our mission president heard some of the discussion on the subject, and talked with us about it.

He said that when he made the decision whether or not to send someone home, he thought about the likely impact it would have on that kid - how likely is it that this missionary leaves the Church over this decision? He basically concluded that if the offense was something that would require a Church Court, there was no choice but to send the kid home (there were a few of those). But if it wasn't, if the kid showed what he thought was true remorse, he generally let them stay - with the knowledge that if they did anything similar in the future, they'd be gone (there were a couple of those too).

Unless there is a huge discipline problem, where people seem to be taking advantage of a forgiving MP, this seems like a pretty rational approach to me.

[LA Ute]

I went to my 25th anniverary mission reunion over the weekend. Heard stories that I'd never heard on the mission. Man was my Mission President a forgiving guy. Elders got drunk at Oktoberfest and didn't get sent home. Others got caught in various European cities well outside our mission boundaries without getting sent home (at various times Elders from our mission (Munich) got caught in Berlin, Vienna & Bern where they ran into (or sought out, not sure which in each case) Elders in those missions who ratted them out). One guy disappeared for a couple days without any repurcussions excpet he was demoted to a junior comp for the rest of his mission.

At the reunion, our mission president heard some of the discussion on the subject, and talked with us about it.

He said that when he made the decision whether or not to send someone home, he thought about the likely impact it would have on that kid - how likely is it that this missionary leaves the Church over this decision? He basically concluded that if the offense was something that would require a Church Court, there was no choice but to send the kid home (there were a few of those). But if it wasn't, if the kid showed what he thought was true remorse, he generally let them stay - with the knowledge that if they did anything similar in the future, they'd be gone (there were a couple of those too).

Unless there is a huge discipline problem, where people seem to be taking advantage of a forgiving MP, this seems like a pretty rational approach to me.

I like your MP's approach. I am not sure it is encouraged today.

[Maximus]

I went to my 25th anniverary mission reunion over the weekend. Heard stories that I'd never heard on the mission. Man was my Mission President a forgiving guy. Elders got drunk at Oktoberfest and didn't get sent home. Others got caught in various European cities well outside our mission boundaries without getting sent home (at various times Elders from our mission (Munich) got caught in Berlin, Vienna & Bern where they ran into (or sought out, not sure which in each case) Elders in those missions who ratted them out). One guy disappeared for a couple days without any repurcussions excpet he was demoted to a junior comp for the rest of his mission.

At the reunion, our mission president heard some of the discussion on the subject, and talked with us about it.

He said that when he made the decision whether or not to send someone home, he thought about the likely impact it would have on that kid - how likely is it that this missionary leaves the Church over this decision? He basically concluded that if the offense was something that would require a Church Court, there was no choice but to send the kid home (there were a few of those). But if it wasn't, if the kid showed what he thought was true remorse, he generally let them stay - with the knowledge that if they did anything similar in the future, they'd be gone (there were a couple of those too).

Unless there is a huge discipline problem, where people seem to be taking advantage of a forgiving MP, this seems like a pretty rational approach to me.

agreed. Our MP did the same, always talked about how hard it was to send someone home even if they wanted to.

[Drunk Tank]

Being sent home from my mission and the repentance process afterwards was and has been one of the best experiences of my life. Everybody was really understanding and loving. Not at all what I thought would happen. My bishop and my parents met me at the airport with loving arms and support.

Finding out 10 years later that someone forgot to do the paperwork that showed I was a member in good standing, and having to go through the whole church court agian (now with most of my youth leaders as HC members) was one of the worst.

I harbored alot of guilt for many years after being sent home. There was a strong sense of feeling that I let alot of people down. I think the most uncomfortable aspect of it is when others ask you about your mission. Only those closest to me know I was sent home early. I dont bring it up and only share the good stories.

Coincidentally, a friend of mine (who's sister was in my mission at the same time I was) was sent home at the same time. His parents got up at a stake fireside and announced he was coming home and they wanted to squash any rumors before they started.



A little off topic, but do you feel it is better for someone to go on a mission for the wrong reasons (i.e. parents forcing them, peer pressure, etc..) or not go at all?

My thought is if your heart isnt in it, dont go.

[Moliere]

I know a guy that chose to go MIA in the mission field rather than go home early and face his family and the shame that came with it.

This happens quite often. While some missionaries just decide to not work or leave the apartment, there are others who buy a train ticket and leave in the middle of the night. This is a constant worry for MPs.

[DapperDan]

This happens quite often. While some missionaries just decide to not work or leave the apartment, there are others who buy a train ticket and leave in the middle of the night. This is a constant worry for MPs.

This story was sad. He just left and called his family and said he was OK, but he wasn't coming home. Went and got a job and an apartment (still in the mission area) and lived that way for a good 8 months or more with his family having virtually no idea what was going on beyond the initial phone call. All because he couldn't face his family & community for being sent home early (and the reason why). Eventually he went home, but I lost track of what happened after that.

[mUUser]

I came home early, by choice.

Thankfully, I wasn't a highly recruited athlete so didn't get publicly excoriated on sports message boards.

Coincidentally, I happened to keep a record of all those that donated to the cause, and was able to meet face-to-face with every donor and return every nickel. 98% of those were understanding, empathetic, kind & loving. Of course, BKP wasn't in my ward.