I learned in church today

[Uncle Ted]

Being divorced in church culture is awful. There is nothing but scorn and nothing to do. Being a retread in the church is difficult for anybody and if you have doubts, out you go.

Yeah, tell me about... I didn't go much when I was a divorcee. The bishop started bugging me and I just told him I was out of town a lot. (I actually did spent every other weekend in Utah.) I don't blame those guys for dropping off the radar. I was always trying to fly under the radar myself.

[Moliere]

I am surprised the new divorced guy even shows up... the divorced guys in my ward usually drop off the radar within the first six months. And the family (ex-wife and kids) get moved over to the HPG to home teach. I am home teaching three single women now. Why do you think I never show up for building cleaning?

You do your home teaching to single women on Saturday morning? Or is it Friday night? Or both?

[Moliere]

So I went to Priesthood for the fist time in four years yesterday. I was released from Primary in December, but there always seem to be sick kids, 3rd hour teacher training, playoff games, etc., so I hadn't made it to Priesthood yet.

So I walk in the room, and see a guy I know from another ward in the stake sitting there. We aren't that close, but have some of the same friends, and played on the same softball team one year a few years back, so I go ahead and make the visitor feel welcome. "Hey Nero" (not his real name), I say. "Welcome! What brings you here?" He gives me a weird, awkward look and says "Haha, I've been here 8 months." I explain that I have been exiled in Primary and out of the loop. He gets a serious look on his face and says "I've been though some hard times recently." Upon reflection, I decide to not ask if his wife and four children are also in our ward. So a good start.

Then, the older gentleman in charge of business cleaning stands up to talk. He surprises me by, for once, not taking any opportunity to talk about how rich his son is (maybe he had a rough week in the markets or something). Instead, he starts haranguing the entire group because the previous morning there was only one person who showed up to clean the building, and then the Stake President (who is in our ward) showed up, and do you think he was happy??? No, he wasn't!. We all know the SP, and I think we can all imagine just what kind of mood that put him in!!! And you can just imagine he had a talk with the bishop this morning about it!!! So if your lives are too busy to take an hour Saturday morning to clean, then just come Friday evening for heaven's sake! And if you can't come Friday either, at least send an email or something!?!?! Have I mentioned yet how mad the stake president was????

It went on like that for a while. I thought about asking if we still had to come clean the building if we didn't really care how mad the SP got at us, but he was kind of on a roll, so I stayed quiet. For the record, it wasn't my week to clean. I like cleaning the church. But I was coaching our youth basketball team to two glorious wins with Parrot Head (need to get that thread started while I am thinking of it).

So after that the teacher got up there, and we took turns reading a conference talk aloud for the next 20 minutes.

So that was my first week back. Sure hope no kids get sick next week.

Reminds me of my first couple weeks in HPG after a long hiatus in Primary and YM. The lesson was 10 mins trying to find volunteers to clean the temple Thursday from 9am to 1pm (spoiler alert: the retired people were upset that they always got the assignment) and then 35 minutes blaming millennials for everything.

[Uncle Ted]

Reminds me of my first couple weeks in HPG after a long hiatus in Primary and YM. The lesson was 10 mins trying to find volunteers to clean the temple Thursday from 9am to 1pm (spoiler alert: the retired people were upset that they always got the assignment) and then 35 minutes blaming millennials for everything.

I mentioned that millennials should be cleaning the building every week... My argument was "they have strong backs and weak minds. Therefore, they are well suited for that kind of work."

[Uncle Ted]

You do your home teaching to single women on Saturday morning? Or is it Friday night? Or both?

Usually on Saturday.... Those single women are always breaking sh*t around the house and needing their HTs to fix it.

[falafel]

You do your home teaching to single women on Saturday morning? Or is it Friday night? Or both?

That's the best time to install all those screen doors.

[Northwestcoug]

clark addison maybe you’ve been away too long but that is basically how it goes every week

[Jeff Lebowski]

That’s funny, Clark. You should take it upon yourself to loosen things up a bit. Next time go ahead and make that comment about the SP.

[old_gregg]

I mentioned that millennials should be cleaning the building every week... My argument was "they have strong backs and weak minds. Therefore, they are well suited for that kind of work."

“those damn millebials just sit around the whole time and post links to wired articles about autonomous church cleaning robots and clinton conspiracy theories”

[BigFatMeanie]

Reminds me of my first couple weeks in HPG after a long hiatus in Primary and YM. The lesson was 10 mins trying to find volunteers to clean the temple Thursday from 9am to 1pm (spoiler alert: the retired people were upset that they always got the assignment) and then 35 minutes blaming millennials for everything.

One can never go wrong blaming millennials for stuff. Millennials are too fragile to push back and defend themselves. If they do push back they look like fragile coddled whiners so it confirms in everyone's mind that really were to blame.

[wuapinmon]

If today's talks and lessons set the tone for this presidency, we are in for A LOT of 2nd-hand testimonies of the prowess, skill, genius, and techniques of a certain heart surgeon prophet.

[LVAllen]

If today's talks and lessons set the tone for this presidency, we are in for A LOT of 2nd-hand testimonies of the prowess, skill, genius, and techniques of a certain heart surgeon prophet.

Well, I can't say anything about his technique, but I had a baptism on my mission that had a severe heart condition (congestion? I don't know. I didn't got to med school). It was to the point where she was meeting with the bishop, and the bishop (totally out of the blue) interviewed her for a living ordinance recommend. She was well under a year from baptism at thus point. The bishop made his case to the SP, the SP interviewed her and made his case up the chain, and when it got to the FP, the FP asked RMN to review her medical records. It came back quickly that she should be allowed to go.

And so it was that a couple of days after she went to the temple (roughly 6 months post-baptism), I happened to be in the area, and the old ward mission leader ran into me and told me what happened. So I've had sort of a warm spot in my heart for RMN ever since.

She's still alive today, by the way.

[clackamascoug]

Well, I can't say anything about his technique, but I had a baptism on my mission that had a severe heart condition (congestion? I don't know. I didn't got to med school). It was to the point where she was meeting with the bishop, and the bishop (totally out of the blue) interviewed her for a living ordinance recommend. She was well under a year from baptism at thus point. The bishop made his case to the SP, the SP interviewed her and made his case up the chain, and when it got to the FP, the FP asked RMN to review her medical records. It came back quickly that she should be allowed to go.

And so it was that a couple of days after she went to the temple (roughly 6 months post-baptism), I happened to be in the area, and the old ward mission leader ran into me and told me what happened. So I've had sort of a warm spot in my heart for RMN ever since.

She's still alive today, by the way.

Waup... LVAllen's above warmed my heart... I guess I can endure a tenure of medical histrionics.

[wuapinmon]

Waup... LVAllen's above warmed my heart... I guess I can endure a tenure of medical histrionics.

Somewhere in one of your dimensions, he said no.

[wuapinmon]

Well, I can't say anything about his technique, but I had a baptism on my mission that had a severe heart condition (congestion? I don't know. I didn't got to med school). It was to the point where she was meeting with the bishop, and the bishop (totally out of the blue) interviewed her for a living ordinance recommend. She was well under a year from baptism at thus point. The bishop made his case to the SP, the SP interviewed her and made his case up the chain, and when it got to the FP, the FP asked RMN to review her medical records. It came back quickly that she should be allowed to go.

And so it was that a couple of days after she went to the temple (roughly 6 months post-baptism), I happened to be in the area, and the old ward mission leader ran into me and told me what happened. So I've had sort of a warm spot in my heart for RMN ever since.

She's still alive today, by the way.

Not a critique of him, but of the folklore that's going to eventually see him become THE GREATEST HEART SURGEON IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!