Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I learned in church today

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 554
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 17 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 37 77 127 527 554 template Next
  • #391
    The speaker was 18 and new to my YSA ward this spring.

    "Joseph Smith was the most intelligent man on the face of the earth in his day. Thomas S. Monson is the most intelligent man on the earth today. That's why God chose them to be our prophets, and why we can accept everything they say without question. Because we couldn't possibly hope to know as much as they do about anything."

    Swear to God.

    (don't take this to mean I'm going to start posting again It still takes up too much of my time. It's just....it's Memorial Day weekend and my girlfriend's out of town. )

    Comment

    • #392
      Originally posted by taekwondave View Post
      The speaker was 18 and new to my YSA ward this spring.

      "Joseph Smith was the most intelligent man on the face of the earth in his day. Thomas S. Monson is the most intelligent man on the earth today. That's why God chose them to be our prophets, and why we can accept everything they say without question. Because we couldn't possibly hope to know as much as they do about anything."
      This is not an unusual comment in Mormonism. It basically started as parenthetical insertion (a humorous play on the notion of knowledge) from the King Follett discourse:
      I know more than all the world put together and the Holy Ghost within me comprehends more than all the world, and I will associate with it.
      Or as another account of the sermon records it:
      But I am learned & know more than the whole world, the Holy Ghost does anyhow, & I will associate myself with it.
      Obviously Joseph plays with the definition of knowledge/intelligence (I think it shows Joseph Smith's wit). Sometimes, in oral transmission of these sort of things, the nuance and context of gets lost and applied in slightly quirky ways.
      Last edited by pelagius; 05-30-2011, 08:07 PM.

      Comment

      • #393
        Originally posted by taekwondave View Post
        The speaker was 18 and new to my YSA ward this spring.

        "Joseph Smith was the most intelligent man on the face of the earth in his day. Thomas S. Monson is the most intelligent man on the earth today. That's why God chose them to be our prophets, and why we can accept everything they say without question. Because we couldn't possibly hope to know as much as they do about anything."

        Swear to God.

        (don't take this to mean I'm going to start posting again It still takes up too much of my time. It's just....it's Memorial Day weekend and my girlfriend's out of town. )
        Not sure how this person reconciles the fact that James E. Talmage never made it to prophet. By Einstein's own admission, JET was the smartest man on earth.
        Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

        There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock

        Comment

        • #394
          Originally posted by taekwondave View Post
          The speaker was 18 and new to my YSA ward this spring.

          "Joseph Smith was the most intelligent man on the face of the earth in his day. Thomas S. Monson is the most intelligent man on the earth today. That's why God chose them to be our prophets, and why we can accept everything they say without question. Because we couldn't possibly hope to know as much as they do about anything."

          Swear to God.

          (don't take this to mean I'm going to start posting again It still takes up too much of my time. It's just....it's Memorial Day weekend and my girlfriend's out of town. )
          Phew.

          Just kidding man. Ease back in and you'll be winning awards for best threads soon enough.
          Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

          "Cog dis is a bitch." -James Patterson

          Comment

          • #395
            Today was a very nice fast and testimony meeting. One of the boys I teach in YM stood and bore his testimony. That surprised me. His opening statement was perfect. "Being a member of the Church and having this gospel is one of my greatest blessings. Being a member of the Church and having this gospel is also one of my greatest challenges." Knowing this boy as I do I was very impressed with how well he summed it up. We have several General Authorities assigned to our branch and one stood and repeated the first half of the quote by the YM but changed the second half to "Applying the gospel in my life is one of my biggest challenges." I thought both points were dead on and so simply stated. I'm going to really miss this branch. This has been my favorite place to go to church as an adult. Great people.
            A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. - Mohammad Ali

            Comment

            • #396
              I learned that there are some truly good people out there. And by good, I mean better than I ever will be and really could aspire to be. I am convinced that they're only here on this earth to show that being like Christ is possible.
              "Nobody listens to Turtle."
              -Turtle
              sigpic

              Comment

              • #397
                The guy saying the invocation in my singles ward elders quorum thanked Heavenly Father for attention from sisters.
                Not that, sickos.

                Comment

                • #398
                  Originally posted by Surfah View Post
                  I learned that there are some truly good people out there. And by good, I mean better than I ever will be and really could aspire to be. I am convinced that they're only here on this earth to show that being like Christ is possible.
                  I know a few of these people.
                  "The first thing I learned upon becoming a head coach after fifteen years as an assistant was the enormous difference between making a suggestion and making a decision."

                  "They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression."

                  "I like to bike. I could beat Lance Armstrong, only because he couldn't pass me if he was behind me."

                  -Rick Majerus

                  Comment

                  • #399
                    2 minute testimony followed by a 45 minute my-life-sucksimony.

                    Comment

                    • #400
                      Originally posted by LiveCoug View Post
                      2 minute testimony followed by a 45 minute my-life-sucksimony.
                      From one person?
                      "There is no creature more arrogant than a self-righteous libertarian on the web, am I right? Those folks are just intolerable."
                      "It's no secret that the great American pastime is no longer baseball. Now it's sanctimony." -- Guy Periwinkle, The Nix.
                      "Juilliardk N I ibuprofen Hyu I U unhurt u" - creekster

                      Comment

                      • #401
                        Today in F&T, a woman got up and spoke for a few minutes of bizarre rambling.

                        She opened with a joke that fell flat but went on for what seemed like a long time. She said that in her house, they don't celebrate Fathers Day Month, they only celebrate Fathers Day, because one day is plenty. my wife and I turned to each other, puzzled by what she meant. Nobody laughed.

                        She spent a bit of time expressing gratitude for her family and her 6 children. She also mentioned that her oldest son was off to college in the Fall. She then admonishes her oldest son, who is sitting in the audience, to "continue to make good choices" because she "is not ready for 'progeny'"

                        I rarely look up from my iPad during F&T but this one definitely grabbed my attention.
                        Fitter. Happier. More Productive.
                        sigpic

                        Comment

                        • #402
                          The sudden rise in calamities over the past decade are proof that we are living in the last days. This was followed by several quotes from church leaders given in the 1960s and 1970s that were on the last days.
                          "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

                          Comment

                          • #403
                            Originally posted by Moliere View Post
                            The sudden rise in calamities over the past decade are proof that we are living in the last days. This was followed by several quotes from church leaders given in the 1960s and 1970s that were on the last days.
                            Yeah, we had a lot of mocking of Harold Camping and his predictions.

                            I wanted to say, "Hey we believe pretty much exactly what Camping is teaching and our early Church leaders were very millennialist -- they were sure the Second Coming was imminent. So it's kind of silly for modern Mormons to mock another very similar brand of millennialism."

                            But I didn't want to embarrass my wife so I restrained myself.

                            Comment

                            • #404
                              Originally posted by CardiacCoug View Post
                              Yeah, we had a lot of mocking of Harold Camping and his predictions.

                              I wanted to say, "Hey we believe pretty much exactly what Camping is teaching and our early Church leaders were very millennialist -- they were sure the Second Coming was imminent. So it's kind of silly for modern Mormons to mock another very similar brand of millennialism."

                              But I didn't want to embarrass my wife so I restrained myself.
                              Hmmmm... I mocked Mr. Camping quite a bit in my GD lesson (Lesson 21: What are the signs of thy coming?). It was a big hit.
                              "Sure, I fought. I had to fight all my life just to survive. They were all against me. Tried every dirty trick to cut me down, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch."

                              - Ty Cobb

                              Comment

                              • #405
                                Originally posted by San Juan Sun View Post
                                Hmmmm... I mocked Mr. Camping quite a bit in my GD lesson (Lesson 21: What are the signs of thy coming?). It was a big hit.
                                That just means you're not a true believer.

                                True believers think the Second Coming will actually happen, so why would they make fun of somebody else for thinking the same thing?

                                Comment

                                Previous 1 17 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 37 77 127 527 554 template Next
                                Working...
                                X