I learned in church today

[Solon]

--I went all City Creek on him right then and there.

We need to make this a mainstream verb.

[Dwight Schr-ute]

This is a local ecclesiastical leader - so for my stake, it is "the Church" which has a problem with snacks in church.

And it's making parents with small children feel unwelcome in church. To me, that's the biggest problem with it.

So, has this guy also chastised the local deacon's quorum for passing bite sized pieces of bread to every member of the congregation? Maybe he will offer to provide the Sacrament out of his Suburban.

[Sullyute]

My hometeaching companion spoke in sacrament yesterday. He talked on making covenants with God. He talked about how when he was in high school he swore like a sailor. He was on the football team and they had not won a single game all season. They were trailing by a couple touchdowns in the last game of the year and for some reason he said a prayer that if God would help them win this last game that he would stop swearing. Well, his team came roaring back and won the game. After the euphoria of the win was over, he realized that he had assigned himself to a lifetime of not swearing for a meaningless football game. He then said that he has tried hard to keep his end of the bargain (with the occational slip-up) but that if he could go back he would have bargained for a better deal. It was a very humorous and touching talk.

[mtnbiker]

This is a local ecclesiastical leader - so for my stake, it is "the Church" which has a problem with snacks in church.

And it's making parents with small children feel unwelcome in church. To me, that's the biggest problem with it.

You could always talk with the counselor, or even the SP, and tell him how you interpreted his remarks and how it made you (and other parents) feel unwelcome. Or you could log on to your ward's website and send an email to the stake presidency outlining your case. I've actually done that a couple of times before, and had positive responses. When you email the entire presidency, then they all end up reading it, and usually have to talk it out among themselves. Hopefully, the overall result is correction of the wayward one and better counsel in the future.

[Pheidippides]

Actually, he's calling people to repentance for bringing snacks to church. It's moving into doctrine territory for my stake.

Your story reminds me of my wife's home stake, in which the SP declared that all church meetings were a fragrance-free zone. Spoken about frequently from the pulpit in meetings. It is a pure coincidence, of course, that his wife is exceptionally sensitive to such things and had vocalized such sensitivity prior to her husband's call.

My MIL ignored it completely in an act of defiance. Good for her.

[San Juan Sun]

Your story reminds me of my wife's home stake, in which the SP declared that all church meetings were a fragrance-free zone. Spoken about frequently from the pulpit in meetings. It is a pure coincidence, of course, that his wife is exceptionally sensitive to such things and had vocalized such sensitivity prior to her husband's call.

My MIL ignored it completely in an act of defiance. Good for her.

If only Emma had a problem with perfumes and not strong drink/tobacco.

[SoCalCoug]

You could always talk with the counselor, or even the SP, and tell him how you interpreted his remarks and how it made you (and other parents) feel unwelcome. Or you could log on to your ward's website and send an email to the stake presidency outlining your case. I've actually done that a couple of times before, and had positive responses. When you email the entire presidency, then they all end up reading it, and usually have to talk it out among themselves. Hopefully, the overall result is correction of the wayward one and better counsel in the future.

Eh, I think I'd rather go the passive-aggressive route and be quietly defiant. Maybe write an anonymous note or something. Or purposely leave goldfish cracker crumbs beneath the pew.

[Katy Lied]

Thank you Sullyute, for your post.

[mtnbiker]

Your story reminds me of my wife's home stake, in which the SP declared that all church meetings were a fragrance-free zone. Spoken about frequently from the pulpit in meetings. It is a pure coincidence, of course, that his wife is exceptionally sensitive to such things and had vocalized such sensitivity prior to her husband's call.

My MIL ignored it completely in an act of defiance. Good for her.

My wife is also very sensitive to perfumes and colognes. As a school teacher, she has to ask the kids (and their parents) to not wear perfumes. She's even had to ask kids to go wash off the perfume that their parents seem to bathe them in. And they're first graders.

Whenever someone comes into the chapel and we can smell their perfume or cologne from 3 pews away, she ends up burying her nose in my suit coat for the duration. Your MIL's defiance is not cool. Would you force-feed peanuts to someone with a nut allergy?

[Solon]

You could always talk with the counselor, or even the SP, and tell him how you interpreted his remarks and how it made you (and other parents) feel unwelcome. Or you could log on to your ward's website and send an email to the stake presidency outlining your case. I've actually done that a couple of times before, and had positive responses. When you email the entire presidency, then they all end up reading it, and usually have to talk it out among themselves. Hopefully, the overall result is correction of the wayward one and better counsel in the future.

Your reasoned, moderate, thoughtful approach is unwelcome here!

[Pheidippides]

My wife is also very sensitive to perfumes and colognes. As a school teacher, she has to ask the kids (and their parents) to not wear perfumes. She's even had to ask kids to go wash off the perfume that their parents seem to bathe them in. And they're first graders.

Whenever someone comes into the chapel and we can smell their perfume or cologne from 3 pews away, she ends up burying her nose in my suit coat for the duration. Your MIL's defiance is not cool. Would you force-feed peanuts to someone with a nut allergy?

Yeah, so, I'm going to go ahead and disagree with you here on the grounds that (a) it still doesnt make it right for the entire stake and (b) the woman in question is in the same meetings with my MIL a total of never.

I would personally go out of my way to put on cologne of that sort of a silly edict came from the pulpit as a stake policy matter. On the other hand, if a woman I had meetings with made a personal request because of sensitivity, I'd honor it without question. Big huge difference to me.

[mtnbiker]

Yeah, so, I'm going to go ahead and disagree with you here on the grounds that (a) it still doesnt make it right for the entire stake and (b) the woman in question is in the same meetings with my MIL a total of never.

I would personally go out of my way to put on cologne of that sort of a silly edict came from the pulpit as a stake policy matter. On the other hand, if a woman I had meetings with made a personal request because of sensitivity, I'd honor it without question. Big huge difference to me.

Actually, I don't think we're disagreeing. I wouldn't advocate an edict over the pulpit for everyone to abstain from wearing any scent. I interpreted your MIL's reaction differently, as being a jerk toward the allergic person. I guess her defiance was directed at the general edict instead.

[Jacob]

Now, he didn't say this today (in fact, today he was very clear about how mothers shouldn't put food in their diaper bags) but in a previous ward conference (and goody, we have that in a week or two, so I'm sure we'll get the lecture from him again then) he said if we have to feed the kids something, take them out to the car. Seriously - he's telling parents of young kids to take them out to our cars if we want to give them a snack. In other words, cleanliness of the building is more important to him than allowing parents of young children to participate in sacrament meeting.

I would be nearly as annoyed as you if someone gave that talk in my ward. I was annoyed when our bishop made a few comments about needing to keep small kids quieter in sacrament. The problem in our ward is that it is a new subdivision and most of the people are in their late 20s and 30s, so we have 3 nurseries, a gigantic primary, and few youth. So it's not gonna be silent in sacrament meeting.

But as to your bolded remark, I don't understand how parent with a couple of small children requiring snacks can much participate in sacrament anyway. My own experience is that I've not really heard more than 3 or 4 full talks in the past 4 years.

[mtnbiker]

Your reasoned, moderate, thoughtful approach is unwelcome here!

Sorry, sorry. I forgot myself and where I was.

[Pheidippides]

Actually, I don't think we're disagreeing. I wouldn't advocate an edict over the pulpit for everyone to abstain from wearing any scent. I interpreted your MIL's reaction differently, as being a jerk toward the allergic person. I guess her defiance was directed at the general edict instead.

Right - maybe I should have been more clear (although I can't speak to the actual motivations of my MIL). I think it's just common decency to be nice to people who have a legitimate issue and ask for some accommodation on a personal level, in the same way I think it's wrong to use a calling as a bully pulpit.