Alcohol in the home

[pellegrino]

So my wife and I are hosting a party for some fellow junior faculty members this Sunday evening. One of them offered to bring beer and wine and wants to know if I have any preferences. I know what my answer is to him, but I wanted to see what the CUF collective would do in a similar scenario.

If you observe the Word of Wisdom, do you allow others not of our faith (or non-observers) to drink in your home? Why or why not?

[Viking]

yes

[myboynoah]

poll coming

Thank you for the warning.

[falafel]

I would have chosen the simple "yes" option (without the explanation for why I won't be partaking) if it were available.

[pellegrino]

I would have chosen the simple "yes" option (without the explanation for why I won't be partaking) if it were available.

So what do you do when someone offers you a glass, or expects you as the host to serve it? I've always been fascinated to see how observing Mormons deal with this if they choose to allow it in their home.

[Pheidippides]

I would have chosen the simple "yes" option (without the explanation for why I won't be partaking) if it were available.

In social situations outside of my own home, I will always politely refuse without explanation. After all, there are many reasons why people won't drink and there's no need to make a big issue out of it.

At home, however, it becomes trickier. My wife would have issues with it, so in that case I would politely thank the offeror (note that I can't think of any colleagues I have that would offer, as they know my religious convictions) but make a very brief explanation as to why. Nobody I know would have problems with that as long as the explanation was done tactfully.

Note that this is somewhat inconsistent with the fact that I currently have bottles of rum and cognac in my pantry.

[pellegrino]

In social situations outside of my own home, I will always politely refuse without explanation. After all, there are many reasons why people won't drink and there's no need to make a big issue out of it.

At home, however, it becomes trickier. My wife would have issues with it, so in that case I would politely thank the offeror (note that I can't think of any colleagues I have that would offer, as they know my religious convictions) but make a very brief explanation as to why. Nobody I know would have problems with that as long as the explanation was done tactfully.

Note that this is somewhat inconsistent with the fact that I currently have bottles of rum and cognac in my pantry.

It's inconsistencies like this that make me wonder why it shoould matter if guests drink alcohol in an observing LDS home. It seems as though the rationalization of "it's ok so long as I don't drink it" could easily be adjusted to "it's ok so long as I don't drink it." Alcohol is already in many active members' pantries. Why is it an issue if someone who hasn't covenanted to not drink it actually does?

[Jarid in Cedar]

It's inconsistencies like this that make me wonder why it shoould matter if guests drink alcohol in an observing LDS home. It seems as though the rationalization of "it's ok so long as I don't drink it" could easily be adjusted to "it's ok so long as I don't drink it." Alcohol is already in many active members' pantries. Why is it an issue if someone who hasn't covenanted to not drink it actually does?

I would agree that it shouldn't be an issue, but that doesn't change the fact that it is an issue for many people. (Something about letting Gomorrah into your home).

[falafel]

So what do you do when someone offers you a glass, or expects you as the host to serve it? I've always been fascinated to see how observing Mormons deal with this if they choose to allow it in their home.

What I meant was that I don't think I'd respond by saying "you can bring it, but I won't be drinking any of it!" I assumed your question was based on the colleague asking well in advance of the party. To me it would feel awkward if I piped up about the fact that I don't drink.

If I were asked in my own home, I would probably just say "oh no thanks, I actually don't drink" and leave it at that. If they ask further, I'd explain.

I can't see any problem with having non-LDS (or even LDS) people drinking in my home.

[myboynoah]

It's inconsistencies like this that make me wonder why it shoould matter if guests drink alcohol in an observing LDS home. It seems as though the rationalization of "it's ok so long as I don't drink it" could easily be adjusted to "it's ok so long as I don't drink it." Alcohol is already in many active members' pantries. Why is it an issue if someone who hasn't covenanted to not drink it actually does?

Ultimately (an obviously) it comes down to your comfort level. I would probably refuse in the case you outlined, noting my preference not to serve alcohol (plus, like Niku, my wife would be against it). However, I can imagine professional situations in which I would allow alcohol to be served.

[pellegrino]

Ultimately (an obviously) it comes down to your comfort level. I would probably refuse in the case you outlined, noting my preference not to serve alcohol (plus, like Niku, my wife would be against it). However, I can imagine professional situations in which I would allow alcohol to be served.

but that's still a double standard.

[Scott R Nelson]

I hope I'm not considered a fanatic for my position on this, but I don't allow alcohol or tobacco in my home, period. I have no problem with someone bringing in coffee or tea, though, and my wife's parents used to do that once in a while.

My two youngest kids don't exactly stick with our beliefs and we've occasionally found alcohol in their rooms. It was instantly poured down the sink. Then we explained our rules to them again.

We try our best to keep our home a spiritual place and don't feel that we can do that with alcohol or tobacco inside it anywhere. The same goes for porn as well. Oh, and I don't let people eat in my car either.

[myboynoah]

but that's still a double standard.

Not really. My employer provides my housing and should it ask for me to host a professional event at my residence at which it is customary to serve alcohol, then it is work. A party I host is my personal business.

[byu71]

I would be taken back and have to give some thought.

Why would I say no.

Let my colleagues know I am mormon and make it easier to convert them later.

Worry about other ward members finding out and what they would think.

Why I would say yes.

I don't care if they have a drink or two in my home and I wouldn't feel the need to drink also to make them feel comfortable.

I won't drink and when they ask, have a chance to explain why, which will make it easier to convert them later.

I would ask my wife to make the decision, wait I forgot, I am divoced. I guess instead I would call my home teacher and ask if I let my colleagues drink at my house would he back me up if any members found out. If he wouldn't, I would tell my colleague he can't bring the alcohol.

[smokymountainrain]

I hope I'm not considered a fanatic for my position on this, but I don't allow alcohol or tobacco in my home, period. I have no problem with someone bringing in coffee or tea, though, and my wife's parents used to do that once in a while.

Same. I would refuse and explain simply that we don't drink and don't want it in our home.

If, for some reason they want an explanation, I would give them one and that explanation may or may not have anything to do with religious conviction.