John Dehlin is thinking about bringing Mormon Stories back

[CardiacCoug]

Interesting. So if one of you had been called to, say, Omaha, Nebraska would they have just preferred you not go?

I'm not sure they had a preference whether or not we went regardless of where we were assigned. I remember them specifically emphasizing the benefits of not going on a mission a few times.

[Donuthole]

Panamanians didn't like us though. "YOU CIA." A lot.

The CIA thing was always hilarious to me. We heard it in Argentina all the time. I would always try to explain to people that CIA operatives typically don't try to stand out like missionaries do. They never agreed with me though.

We got this all the time in Guatemala. When people wouldn't believe that we weren't "la CIA" or "el effe-beh-ee", I would lean my head down toward my name tag, grasp the edge of it like I was pressing the button on a two-way radio, and speak some random English--music lyrics, nursery rhymes, insults, etc. Half of the people knew I was kidding and thought it was funny. Half of them were paranoid and would freak out. Good times either way.

[Joe Public]

I heard a lot of the CIA stuff, too. One guy explained to me that the steeples of the church buildings all had secret transmission antennas inside of them.

One day, though, I was walking down a street when a white pick-up truck stopped next to us. A gringo with red hair and a trimmed beard said "hello" in an American accent. I was excited to see another American, so I said hello back. We shared where we were from. I asked him what took him to the D.R.

"Work," he said.

"What do you do?"

"I fill out paperwork, just like you."

He then wished us a good day and drove away.

[wuapinmon]

We got this all the time in Guatemala. When people wouldn't believe that we weren't "la CIA" or "el effe-beh-ee", I would lean my head down toward my name tag, grasp the edge of it like I was pressing the button on a two-way radio, and speak some random English--music lyrics, nursery rhymes, insults, etc. Half of the people knew I was kidding and thought it was funny. Half of them were paranoid and would freak out. Good times either way.

I did something one day that I'm not proud of, but here goes. I'd been in Limón, Costa Rica for four months. Every single day, as in, EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. our nextdoor neighbor, who spoke Mekatelyu English, would yell, "YOU CIA" at us the moment we left the house. "Marnin' Meesta Ledgister, wuapin, mon?" "I man no gwon a talk wit ya, pass away from eer, rot now." "See you tamara."

Well, on might second to last day there, he was standing right outside our door. He'd been drinking and was a tad belligerent. Not a big man, my -sen-ending-last-named companion and I were very very big compared to this man. I looked outside because I thought I'd heard him kicking around. Right when I open the door. "YOU CIA." "No, Meesta Ledgister, we're not CIA." "YES, YOU CIA." This last time, the rice he was eating was expelled with force towards us. I'd had it, knew I was leaving, and he was drunk, so I let loose with, "IF I WERE IN THE CIA, I'D'VE HAD YOU KILLED A LONG TIME AGO." I scared him, more than I ever imagined I would have.

I like D-hole's nametag idea and I wish I'd thought of it too.

[Pelado]

We got this all the time in Guatemala. When people wouldn't believe that we weren't "la CIA" or "el effe-beh-ee", I would lean my head down toward my name tag, grasp the edge of it like I was pressing the button on a two-way radio, and speak some random English--music lyrics, nursery rhymes, insults, etc. Half of the people knew I was kidding and thought it was funny. Half of them were paranoid and would freak out. Good times either way.

I did something one day that I'm not proud of, but here goes. I'd been in Limón, Costa Rica for four months. Every single day, as in, EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. our nextdoor neighbor, who spoke Mekatelyu English, would yell, "YOU CIA" at us the moment we left the house. "Marnin' Meesta Ledgister, wuapin, mon?" "I man no gwon a talk wit ya, pass away from eer, rot now." "See you tamara."

Well, on might second to last day there, he was standing right outside our door. He'd been drinking and was a tad belligerent. Not a big man, my -sen-ending-last-named companion and I were very very big compared to this man. I looked outside because I thought I'd heard him kicking around. Right when I open the door. "YOU CIA." "No, Meesta Ledgister, we're not CIA." "YES, YOU CIA." This last time, the rice he was eating was expelled with force towards us. I'd had it, knew I was leaving, and he was drunk, so I let loose with, "IF I WERE IN THE CIA, I'D'VE HAD YOU KILLED A LONG TIME AGO." I scared him, more than I ever imagined I would have.

I like D-hole's nametag idea and I wish I'd thought of it too.

I certainly didn't think of it, but we'd also talk into our name badges on occasion - especially if we were in our trenchcoats.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

It is cool to be in the "highest" or "lowest" baptizing mission in _______. I never heard a missionary say "I was in an average baptizing mission" despite the fact no missionary knows anything about the statistics except by revelation.

[SCcoug]

It is cool to be in the "highest" or "lowest" baptizing mission in _______. I never heard a missionary say "I was in an average baptizing mission" despite the fact no missionary knows anything about the statistics except by revelation.

I saw the stats for the missions in our area. We were average for baptisms but near the top for retention statistics.

[Pelado]

It is cool to be in the "highest" or "lowest" baptizing mission in _______. I never heard a missionary say "I was in an average baptizing mission" despite the fact no missionary knows anything about the statistics except by revelation.

Baptism and retention statistics for the South America South Area were distributed/discussed at leadership conferences in my mission. We were among the highest baptizing and lowest retaining missions in the area (Chile had been moved to its own area by then). It was weird - the retention rate seemed to be inversely proportional to the baptismal rate.

[Omaha 680]

I'm not sure they had a preference whether or not we went regardless of where we were assigned. I remember them specifically emphasizing the benefits of not going on a mission a few times.

It seems if they had the same view of missions as Sooner they wouldn't be keen to drop 15 grand for their son to spend some time in Iowa or Delaware. Seems they would just tell you not to go and they would pay for a semester or two abroad instead. But I guess you both went foreign so it's a moo point.

[SandYFan]

Baptism and retention statistics for the South America South Area were distributed/discussed at leadership conferences in my mission. We were among the highest baptizing and lowest retaining missions in the area (Chile had been moved to its own area by then). It was weird - the retention rate seemed to be inversely proportional to the baptismal rate.

Keeping new converts can be a lot of work.

Keeping three new converts around is easier than keeping 300 new converts around.

[frank ryan]

A scientologist would call me a suppressive person.

It's all a matter of perspective.

For me, I can say that I would never exclude a family member from a wedding. Principle should come before your devotion to a religious group.

My journal at age 16 documented my views on God as well as my perception of a mission as an opportunity for cultural exchange. I never intentionally converted anyone. And I did not misrepresent my views to investigators. I was very open about my doubts and skepticism.

The Scientologists really hate their apostates.
"The Suppressive Person is also known as the Anti-Social Personality. Within this category one finds Napoleon, Hitler, the unrepentant killer and the drug lord. But if such are easily spotted, if only from the bodies they leave in their wake, Anti-Social Personalities also commonly exist in current life and often go undetected." http://www.scientology.org/faq/scien...ve-person.html

[smokymountainrain]

I'm not sure they had a preference whether or not we went regardless of where we were assigned. I remember them specifically emphasizing the benefits of not going on a mission a few times.

Have your parents always been active in the church?

[Non Sequitur]

I baptized 50 people. I do not remember their kilogrammage. I often used tricks to get into doors. I can shove a pen up my nose and pull it out my mouth. I can remove my right index finger and put it back on, and if I put a coin inside my tie, I can make you think I made the coin disappear (a different one) in about 3 seconds. I was also asked about "Maykel Yordan" and the "Chee-cah-go Bools" about 7,324,468 times. Panamanians didn't like us though. "YOU CIA." A lot.

We didn't get "CIA" a lot, but we used to get a lot of young kids running along side us yelling, "Sunny ah beech! Sunny ah beech!"

[SCcoug]

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[Jeff Lebowski]

Oh that is too much. Well done, JD.