I have serious issues with this attitude in the church and statement's like this:

[doctorcoug]

About Josh Powell:

Petersen said the Powells' marriage counselor instructed Susan Powell to set specific goals. Susan Powell told her husband that her goal was for him to become active in the church again by the end of 2009 and to have his temple recommend again by their anniversary in the spring. Otherwise, she was going to divorce him and take the children, Petersen said.


How stupid is that? I don't know what the church's policy is on apostasy and marriages, but it seems completely idiotic to me that people in the church feel that divorce is the option if the spouse leaves the church. That is completely hypocritical.

[falafel]

I thought your issue was going to be with Susan Powell's goal: to reactivate her husband. I don't see how you can have any expectation of success with a goal like that that is tied to another's feelings, behaviors and potentially conflicting goals.

[doctorcoug]

I thought your issue was going to be with Susan Powell's goal: to reactivate her husband. I don't see how you can have any expectation of success with a goal like that that is tied to another's feelings, behaviors and potentially conflicting goals.

Many people have goals to reactivate their wayward spouse. I don't have an issue with that. It is kind of like having a goal to baptize a family every month on a mission.

Like I said, my beef entirely deals with the hypocrisy of it all.

[falafel]

Many people have goals to reactivate their wayward spouse. I don't have an issue with that. It is kind of like having a goal to baptize a family every month on a mission.

Like I said, my beef entirely deals with the hypocrisy of it all.

I think you've got a legitimate "beef" (I hate that word for some reason). But my issue feeds into yours. If Susan (or any LDS person can't meet their crazy goal of reactivating their spouse, they're counseled to divorce that spouse (sometimes). They are setting themselves up for failure with a goal like that.

[Commando]

That kind of ultimatum is domestic abuse by definition-- trying to control somebody's actions via emotional duress.

[DrumNFeather]

That kind of ultimatum is domestic abuse by definition-- trying to control somebody's actions via emotional duress.

Which also probably means that it is a matter of time before she would've walked anyway.

[Surfah]

I don't think any reputable therapist would ever counsel such an ultimatum as she gave her husband.

[byu71]

I don't think any reputable therapist would ever counsel such an ultimatum as she gave her husband.

I agree. The setting of goals would be fine. However, with the counselors I have been too, the goal setting was for things I could control not a goal on how to control someone else.

[dabrockster]

About Josh Powell:

Petersen said the Powells' marriage counselor instructed Susan Powell to set specific goals. Susan Powell told her husband that her goal was for him to become active in the church again by the end of 2009 and to have his temple recommend again by their anniversary in the spring. Otherwise, she was going to divorce him and take the children, Petersen said.


How stupid is that? I don't know what the church's policy is on apostasy and marriages, but it seems completely idiotic to me that people in the church feel that divorce is the option if the spouse leaves the church. That is completely hypocritical.

If you think his activity in the church was their only issue then you are being naive.. The request for Divorce probably hinges on many other aspects that was wrong in their marriage...

[RC Vikings]

I agree. The setting of goals would be fine. However, with the counselors I have been too, the goal setting was for things I could control not a goal on how to control someone else.

BYU71 has been to a counselor? A swing coach I can understand but I can't ever imagine you would need a counselor.

[dabrockster]

I agree. The setting of goals would be fine. However, with the counselors I have been too, the goal setting was for things I could control not a goal on how to control someone else.

Winner winner. Chicken dinner..


I take this whole quote as a grain of salt..

[Viking]

My ex-wife's did. But then again, he's not really a reputable therapist, just a former school counselor hack who decided to rebrand as a counselor.

This was the central issue in my divorce. I basically stopped going to church cold turkey and the ex was ok with it at first, then gave me an ultimatum. I took the exit opportunity, we separated and divorced a year later. I remain friendly with her as she's the mother of my kids but it was a bullshit move.

This Powell guy looks guilty as sin and I feel badly for all involved

[Viking]

If you think his activity in the church was their only issue then you are being naive.. The request for Divorce probably hinges on many other aspects that was wrong in their marriage...

this is probably true, but Church becomes the excuse.

[byu71]

BYU71 has been to a counselor? A swing coach I can understand but I can't ever imagine you would need a counselor.

I went through a divorce. Then I was a single guy out dating and trying to remain an "active LDS BYU fan". I credit good counselors for keeping me from residency in an insane assylum.

[myboynoah]

That quote sits out there with absolutely no context. Except for the very high probability that he killed her and dumped her body out in the deseret somewhere.

I suspect there were other things going on that, if resolved, would have led to his reactivation in The Church.

Even then, don't we all have the right to set our own deal breakers? From what we have been told, he came into the marriage as an active temple-worthy husband (or at least led her to believe so). I suspect that was very important to her and she had every expectation that he would continue to remain at a certain level of devotion. He chose to move away from what was obviously important to her, putting the relationship in jeopardy.