Is sex sacred?

[ERCougar]

The ridiculous hijack in the other thread bored me, so I'm starting my own on the interesting aspect (to me) of her talk.

It seems that the most unconventional aspect of her advice is the mixing of Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, and sex. Why does this feel like such strange advice? Is it because we're all inundated with sexuality in society with nary a mention of Jesus, so the mixing feels strange? Or is it because sex is essentially messy, dirty, and appealing to our basest instincts, so we have a hard time mixing this with the pearly white image of Jesus that we have grown up with? Or maybe both?

It seems to me that if we truly believe what we tell our teenagers--that sex is sacred--then we wouldn't have a problem with the statements she makes. Problem is, I don't think most of us believe what we preach (including me). Maybe that means I need to change. Maybe that means our teaching needs to change. But a 270-post argument on the subject means there's a disconnect.

As I've thought about it, I'm not sure that the sexual act is sacred, as we typically define it. The power of procreation is a sacred one, which is why none of us have any problem associating the Holy Ghost with a moment of birth (also messy and pretty disgusting). Sex can have a very powerful effect on emotions. I think this is where we need to focus our teachings to adolescents. They don't buy that it's sacred either.

[doctorcoug]

It's sacred because it has to be, or our kids would have pre-marital sex.

I think this whole "sacred sex" is a load of crap.

[Non Sequitur]

If you're an LDS writer, catering to an LDS audience and you want to discourse on human sexuality, then you have to find a hook to relate it back to the Gospel. I think it's as simple as that.

[wuapinmon]

Again, I follow Trent Reznor's advice about getting closer to God vis à vis sex with my wife.

[SuperGabers]

I don't want the government in my bedroom or God in my bedroom...

[ERCougar]

Again, I follow Trent Reznor's advice about getting closer to God vis à vis sex with my wife.

I need a link on this...

I think we've all probably had moments of really close connection and during those times, maybe it is "sacred". But sometimes, it's just about getting off. I know of at least one couple who had some major issues in the beginning of their relationship because she expected every time to be some big emotional and spiritual experience; they got to the point where they were only having sex once a month (No, he didn't tell me about this--his wife told my wife. It's amazing how much women talk to each other about sex...). She chilled out her expectations and now their sex life is more fulfilling for both. (This is actually a perfect example why a virgin just can't counsel others on sex, IMO...but save that for the other hijacked thread).

[TheAzzuri]

I agree that the act itself isn't very sacred. What is sacred to me, is the effect that it has on my relationship with my wife.

As you've indicated, it is biologically wired to be a highly emotional experience (for most anyway). In a healthy monogamous relationship, sex is about a lot more than just sex (I speak in general terms, not of specific instances). It involves respect and trust and mutual gratification and is often a barometer for the relationship. That, to me, is sacred.

[wuapinmon]

It really pisses me off when people try to speak for God about sex. If my bishop or stake president asked me if I had oral sex with my wife, the ensuing discussion would involve many vulgar imperatives.

The act is not sacred. Feeling closer to my wife is the sacred part.

As far as Reznor goes, here's the [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4VAv8y2hHM"]YouTube- Nine Inch Nails - Closer (Nothing Edit)[/nomedia], but if you don't know the song and remember it from your youth, it won't be funny to you. (this is the edited version)

[TheAzzuri]

It really pisses me off when people try to speak for God about sex. If my bishop or stake president asked me if I had oral sex with my wife, the ensuing discussion would involve many vulgar imperatives.

As far as Reznor goes, here's the YouTube- Nine Inch Nails - Closer (Nothing Edit), but if you don't know the song and remember it from your youth, it won't be funny to you. (this is the edited version)

I have to believe this kind of thing is more urban legend than truth. Maybe there are a few rogue bishops or maybe it's a generational thing. But I have had bishops both young and old and I can't imagine any one of them ever asking something like that.

[ERCougar]

I don't want the government in my bedroom or God in my bedroom...

So...how do you plan to teach your kids about sexuality? Do you think there's anything to the idea that the more connected you are to Christ, the more fulfilling your sex life can become?

Sincere questions--not argumentative.

[ERCougar]

I have to believe this kind of thing is more urban legend than truth. Maybe there are a few rogue bishops or maybe it's a generational thing. But I have had bishops both young and old and I can't imagine any one of them ever asking something like that.

I haven't had any bishops ask me this either, but I certainly could imagine one getting on a soapbox and doing it through TR interviews. That doesn't seem any stranger than caffeine crusades. Or herbal tea diatribes.

[TheAzzuri]

I haven't had any bishops ask me this either, but I certainly could imagine one getting on a soapbox and doing it through TR interviews. That doesn't seem any stranger than caffeine crusades. Or herbal tea diatribes.

You're right, but it is a hell of a lot more creepy.

[wuapinmon]

So...how do you plan to teach your kids about sexuality? Do you think there's anything to the idea that the more connected you are to Christ, the more fulfilling your sex life can become?

Sincere questions--not argumentative.

I think being close to Christ will strengthen your marriage, every day. If you're constantly getting closer, even though sexual frequency decreases through the years, then the sex will get better/be more meaningful because of the love you have for each other and the united front you create against the world. But, the idea that God's watching me, prone or supine, approving of where I put or don't put something is wrongheaded and <redacted> weird.

[YOhio]

Elder Holland has a nice talk on the matter, Souls, Symbols and Sacraments. Maybe that was posted somewhere else, if so then apologies.

The difficulty with this kind of questioning is that sacred is a relative term and even among LDS it has different meanings. Sex is sacred in the sense that it strengthens a marriage and brings a couple significant joy. So much so that sexual incompatibility seems to be a major cause of marital strife for some people(working off of assumptions here, not actual data). So if it's not sacred, then what is it?

[TheAzzuri]

So...how do you plan to teach your kids about sexuality? Do you think there's anything to the idea that the more connected you are to Christ, the more fulfilling your sex life can become?

Sincere questions--not argumentative.

I know you were directing your question at her, but I have a thought or two.

Personally, there is no direct link for me, but maybe something more indirect. I do think that being right with God is tightly linked to general feeling of well-being and happiness. Those things then translate into a more productive life and better sex as an extension of that.