Benefit or Burden

[KillerDog]

While entering my fourth hour of Church related meetings last night, I started thinking about whether the LDS Church is a burden or a blessing to its active membership. It is very hard to convince myself that the best thing I could do after work last night was run home, change the work bag for the church bag and leave my crying two year old, infant, and exhausted/crying wife to thier own devices. IMO, this might be a result of my failing belief but I firmly believe no amount of warm fuzzies can make a person believe God, if he exists, wanted me to do that. I can't wait for Sunday and its 6-8 hours of religious interference with my family.

[Indy Coug]

What were your meetings? Is the benefit supposed to be for you or those around you?

Church is definitely a burden, but we covenanted to bear one another's burdens, even if those burdens come in meeting form.

[KillerDog]

What were your meetings? Is the benefit supposed to be for you or those around you?

Church is definitely a burden, but we covenanted to bear one another's burdens, even if those burdens come in meeting form.

Usual Tuesday night meetings. Sit outside the Bishop's office so he can meet with sisters and checks can be cut. Meet with Bishopric members. The usual. The question isn't who is supposed to benefit, it is who is supposed to pay. Are my children supposed to pay for sister _______'s husbands unwillingness to forego the 4th degree and get a job?

[TheBYUGuy]

While entering my fourth hour of Church related meetings last night, I started thinking about whether the LDS Church is a burden or a blessing to its active membership. It is very hard to convince myself that the best thing I could do after work last night was run home, change the work bag for the church bag and leave my crying two year old, infant, and exhausted/crying wife to thier own devices. IMO, this might be a result of my failing belief but I firmly believe no amount of warm fuzzies can make a person believe God, if he exists, wanted me to do that. I can't wait for Sunday and its 6-8 hours of religious interference with my family.

The Mormons: Seeking to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable for 179 years running.

[ERCougar]

Once you consistently consider church callings/activities a burden (everyone has moments, obviously), then I think it's time to reconsider things, either in terms of callings or activity level. I just can't believe that God wants it to be that way.

[Indy Coug]

Once you consistently consider church callings/activities a burden (everyone has moments, obviously), then I think it's time to reconsider things, either in terms of callings or activity level. I just can't believe that God wants it to be that way.

God wants us to experience both the bitter and the sweet and I believe that extends to church activities. If all the church required of us was to listen to women unload tales of their sexual misadventures to us behind closed doors so we take up that pent up energy and cash in a few hours later at home, it wouldn't require much faith to serve, would it?

[ERCougar]

God wants us to experience both the bitter and the sweet and I believe that extends to church activities. If all the church required of us was to listen to women unload tales of their sexual misadventures to us behind closed doors so we take up that pent up energy and cash in a few hours later at home, it wouldn't require much faith to serve, would it?

That's why I said consistently. There's a time in life for everything. It might not be K-Dog's time to spend 10 hrs a week doing church things. Family and personal well-being come first.

[Moliere]

Usual Tuesday night meetings. Sit outside the Bishop's office so he can meet with sisters and checks can be cut. Meet with Bishopric members. The usual. The question isn't who is supposed to benefit, it is who is supposed to pay. Are my children supposed to pay for sister _______'s husbands unwillingness to forego the 4th degree and get a job?

These don't sound like meetings but more like bishops interviews. Unfortunately the world we now live in requires some pretty over-the-top precautions to avoid the church getting sued like crazy, and part of that is having multiple people present during bishops interviews. Some of this is warranted but most of the time its a dog and pony show, kind of like the TSA people at the airport.

When I was a kid I walked to the church building on my own and met with the bishop on my own.

[KillerDog]

You are posing your question (burden or benefit) somewhat rhetorically are you not? Are you looking for some support to tell your ecclesiastical superior that you need a break? If so, then I wholeheartedly support you brother. Time to scale back your Church man-hours of service. The local Church unit will likely spin along without your presence (believe it or not)... but it sounds like your family needs you more right now.

cheers.

Hmmmmm, I wonder what my reason is. I felt like I was just venting but maybe I am looking for support on my belief that this is unreasonable.

[Moliere]

You are posing your question (burden or benefit) somewhat rhetorically are you not? Are you looking for some support to tell your ecclesiastical superior that you need a break? If so, then I wholeheartedly support you brother. Time to scale back your Church man-hours of service. The local Church unit will likely spin along without your presence (believe it or not)... but it sounds like your family needs you more right now.

cheers.

I agree, but I'll add one thing to this. It is more than appropriate to talk to the bishop about the burden and to ask for a release if it is hurting your family. I can promise you the last thing your bishop wants is for you feel like you can't give your family the attention is needs and deserves.

[Indy Coug]

I agree, but I'll add one thing to this. It is more than appropriate to talk to the bishop about the burden and to ask for a release if it is hurting your family. I can promise you the last thing your bishop wants is for you feel like you can't give your family the attention is needs and deserves.

Odds are the bishop feels exactly the same way you do.

[jay santos]

While entering my fourth hour of Church related meetings last night, I started thinking about whether the LDS Church is a burden or a blessing to its active membership. It is very hard to convince myself that the best thing I could do after work last night was run home, change the work bag for the church bag and leave my crying two year old, infant, and exhausted/crying wife to thier own devices. IMO, this might be a result of my failing belief but I firmly believe no amount of warm fuzzies can make a person believe God, if he exists, wanted me to do that. I can't wait for Sunday and its 6-8 hours of religious interference with my family.

You can say no.

[smokymountainrain]

You can say no.

And as Eddie Jones mentioned, the Bishop, if he really understood the burden on your family, just might want you to say no.

[statman]

Hmmmmm, I wonder what my reason is. I felt like I was just venting but maybe I am looking for support on my belief that this is unreasonable.

If it really is a burden and is adversely affecting your family life, you should ask to be released. Your first responsibility is to your family.

My wife asked to be released from teaching early morning seminary a few years ago. My job situation changed from when she'd accepted the calling - I was initially not traveling at all, and starting in November that school year I started traveling 4 days a week - about half of it internationally. She talked to the Bishop in md-April and said that with my travel (and her still working full-time) it had become just too overwhelming.

We worked out a schedule where she would teach the rest of the year, but one of the bishopric taught every Monday and I taught every Friday, and we got through the last 6 weeks of the school year.


Anyway - t I guess the point of this little anecdote is here: When she had the discussion with the bishop, his initial comment was basically - "we were wondering why you didn't come to us and say this back in November."

The last thing any Bishop really wants to do is damage a family relationship by burying someone with a church calling. Sure, your Bishop may know intellectually that you might be becoming overwhelmed by a calling. But most bishops aren't going to do anything about it until you say something...

[Moliere]

And as Eddie Jones mentioned, the Bishop, if he really understood the burden on your family, just might want you to say no.

Of course, if you are currently on the Grapevinian path to church leadership you best bet is to suck it up and ask for another calling. You might also want to make sure your wife gives the bishop a call to let him know how proud she is of your service and how supportive she is of her Patriarch of the family.

All kidding aside, I was taught from my early days as a youth to never say no to a calling because they are inspired from God. To this day I've never said no, but I've also never been asked to do something I wasn't capable of handling either from a family perspective or a work perspective. We feel that by saying "no" we will offend God. In some cases that might be, but most of the time I don't think it is.

However, you have to understand that by saying no, someone else will have to do it (I'm not trying to instill guilt here because in all honesty someone else might be in a better position to fulfill the responsibility of taking up space outside the bishop's door for hours at a time).