Does Thomas Monson use inappropriate stories?

[RobinFinderson]

I was googling for images of Thomas Monson, to see if I could find an image where he looked like some minor celebrity so I could post comparison images in the other thread, when I found this story he shared from GC April 2005:

Several years ago we had a young paperboy who didn't always deliver the paper in the manner intended. Instead of getting the paper on the porch, he sometimes accidentally threw it into the bushes or even close to the street. Some on his paper route decided to start a petition of complaint. One day a delegation came to our home and asked my wife, Frances, to sign the petition. She declined, saying, "Why, he's just a little boy, and the papers are so heavy for him. I would never be critical of him, for he tries his best." The petition, however, was signed by many of the others on the paper route and sent to the boy's supervisors.

Not many days afterward, I came home from work and found Frances in tears. When she was finally able to talk, she told me that she had just learned that the body of the little paperboy had been found in his garage, where he had taken his own life. Apparently the criticism heaped upon him had been too much for him to bear. How grateful we were that we had not joined in that criticism. What a vivid lesson this has always been regarding the importance of being nonjudgmental and treating everyone with kindness.

This story strikes me as being in extremely poor taste. Was there any local chatter about this story after it was told?

[UtahDan]

I was googling for images of Tomas Monson, to see if I could find an image where he looked like some minor celebrity so I could post comparison images in the other thread, when I found this story he shared from GC April 2005:



This story strikes me as being in extremely poor taste. Was there any local chatter about this story after it was told?

Why do you think it is in poor taste? I think it is poignant. Would you think it was in poor taste if someone here shared that story? I didn't think it had a "hey look at me" tone but was much more of a "look what we almost contributed to" story. What is your objection?

[Fiyero]

When widows aren't walking 1000 miles across frozen Europe and digging graves with teaspoons, young paperboys are committing suicide. I bet that now they are happily doing missionary work together in the hereafter, with Zelph as their zone leader.

[Clark Addison]

Maybe I am missing something, but I also don't see how this story is in poor taste.

[Solon]

I don't really follow conference very closely, but I don't think this story is inappropriate. Horrific and awful, yes - but that was the point (assuming it's a true story, was told accurately, etc.).

[RobinFinderson]

Why do you think it is in poor taste? I think it is poignant. Would you think it was in poor taste if someone here shared that story? I didn't think it had a "hey look at me" tone but was much more of a "look what we almost contributed to" story. What is your objection?

I think turning a child's tragic suicide into a public object lesson is terribly insensitive to a lot of people -- the parents and extended family of the child, the neighbors who signed the petition.

edit: Imagine the day after the conference, having been called out by the Lord's anointed and feeling guilty for having contributed to a child's suicide, one of the signers of the petition is found hanging from the rafters of his garage.

[YOhio]

I am sympathetic to President Monson. He's given thousands of talks and at every one there are people who expect to hear a life-changing message. For the past twenty or thirty years he's had to deliver about 10 unique conference talks per year all without recycling material, though he has occasionally done so. That's a lot of pressure for someone.

Some talks are better than others and there are bound to be some that he probably would have changed. The story in question wasn't particularly inspiring to me, though I can't speak for others who heard it. I can see how some would see it in poor taste, but considering his massive body of work, that would be the rare exception.

[byu71]

I think turning a child's tragic suicide into a public object lesson is terribly insensitive to a lot of people -- the parents and extended family of the child, the neighbors who signed the petition.

You have made it very clear by your own words, you don't have the proper "spirit" to listen to conference talks.

[SloanHater]

I think turning a child's tragic suicide into a public object lesson is terribly insensitive to a lot of people -- the parents and extended family of the child, the neighbors who signed the petition.

edit: Imagine the day after the conference, having been called out by the Lord's anointed and feeling guilty for having contributed to a child's suicide, one of the signers of the petition is found hanging from the rafters of his garage.

If they didn't feel guilty BEFORE being called out by a church leader then there is something wrong with them and they SHOULD be called out.

Would you have found it more appropriate for him to use a story from the news rather than a personal story that obviously affected his (and his wife's) life? Isn't the bible full of tragic stories used as object lessons?

[Pheidippides]

I was horrified by his opening story this priesthood session, and probably would have not chosen to share that one. But my speaking style is decidedly different.

[Non Sequitur]

I think turning a child's tragic suicide into a public object lesson is terribly insensitive to a lot of people -- the parents and extended family of the child, the neighbors who signed the petition.

edit: Imagine the day after the conference, having been called out by the Lord's anointed and feeling guilty for having contributed to a child's suicide, one of the signers of the petition is found hanging from the rafters of his garage.

I thought the juxtaposition of the suicide with what led up to the suicide was a little odd, but why is using a tragic suicide as an object lesson inappropriate? If the kid who had committed suicide had been gay, and the object lesson was that we should accept and love people despite their sexual orientations, would that have been inappropriate?

[RobinFinderson]

If they didn't feel guilty BEFORE being called out by a church leader then there is something wrong with them and they SHOULD be called out.

Would you have found it more appropriate for him to use a story from the news rather than a personal story that obviously affected his (and his wife's) life? Isn't the bible full of tragic stories used as object lessons?

Do you think it is inappropriate to complain when the paperboy isn't doing his job? What exactly is the take-away message? If you don't tip a minimum of 15%, what if a waiter takes that sleight personally, and takes his own life? What if SU does himself in because of Rocky's criticisms? What if what if what if... I just can't see a concrete enough message to justify the use of this tragedy as an ambiguous object lesson.

Why did the child take his own life? The explanation Monson offers is a gross over-simplification of a situation that that, in all likelihood, includes the boy's mental state and his relationship with his parents as more significant contributing factors. Where did the boy learn to take minor criticism so personally? Every parent who loses a child to suicide is going to be haunted, forever, by a sense of guilt and self-doubt, wondering if s/he could not have done something better to save the child. This is serious stuff, and glossing over the complexity of the contributing factors to the suicide is, in my opinion, extremely insensitive to the many people who were invested in that child's life.

[marsupial]

I thought the juxtaposition of the suicide with what led up to the suicide was a little odd, but why is using a tragic suicide as an object lesson inappropriate? If the kid who had committed suicide had been gay, and the object lesson was that we should accept and love people despite their sexual orientations, would that have been inappropriate?

I agree. It was an odd story. And I am sure there was more going on in his life than than losing his paper route. It is horrific when someone chooses to take their own life. All close to the individual can't help but wonder what they could have done to have prevented it from happening.

[woot]

I must agree with Robin on this one. I happen to be going through a situation right now where my NYTimes is being left out next to the street instead of inside my building next to my apartment door like it's supposed to be. Is it wrong that I have made a couple phone calls in order to get this remedied?

Perhaps the moral of this story is to not criticize young people? If so, shouldn't the moral also include that said young people shouldn't have paper routes? Unless it only applies to young people, isn't Monson a hypocrite for specifically criticizing those who signed the petition? I really don't see any point that he could be making.

[wuapinmon]

I am sympathetic to President Monson. He's given thousands of talks and at every one there are people who expect to hear a life-changing message. For the past twenty or thirty years he's had to deliver about 10 unique conference talks per year all without recycling material, though he has occasionally done so. That's a lot of pressure for someone.

Some talks are better than others and there are bound to be some that he probably would have changed. The story in question wasn't particularly inspiring to me, though I can't speak for others who heard it. I can see how some would see it in poor taste, but considering his massive body of work, that would be the rare exception.

For the umpteenth time, YOhio has said, far better, what I would say about this. I can see Robin's point, but I think it's a non-starter.