Food Network

[Donuthole]

This attitude cracks me up. As if nobody should ever take shortcuts when prepping an everyday meal.

Notice I didn't say canned food in general. Of course some prepared products are necessary. Even some of the best chefs on food network use canned, bottled, or otherwise preprepared goods. But mixing cream of mushroom soup and some ground beef and calling it stroganoff is hardly worthy of a recipe, let alone a food show. That is my point, really.

[Chachi]

Agreed. As much as I like some of food network's programming, there is a lot of fluff in there. Shows which I don't really care for include:

Unwrapped. I admit, I watched this pretty regularly when I first got food network. But you can only see some many episodes telling you how many pounds of x a company goes through each year, or how many boxes of y they produce a day before you end up going "that machine pouring 1000 chocolate wafers at a time is kind of neat-o" and then change the channel.

40 Dollars a Day/Rachel's Travels. We get it. You're filthy rich. You get paid to travel to all kinds of cool places and eat in lavish restaurants. But there are a finite number of ways you can describe the taste/texture of something before you resort to orgasmic noises, and you usually get there by 5 minutes into the show, and then repeat it with every bite you take. But we males can't really relate to that whole "again and again and again" thing, so we lose interest quickly.

Semi-Homemade. The only thing more plastic than Sandra Lee's name is her rack. But then she pretends to cook. Let's be real: any show that features a prominent use of canned soups shouldn't be on the food network. (And FTR, nobody gives a f#&% about your tablescape, Sandra. Nobody.)

I could go on, and this is very theraputic, but I should probably do some work now.

This is hilarious. My mom hates her show for that reason alone. Who the heck decorates their table for every meal???

[FN Phat]

There's some stuff I like on FN

You're not alone.

[Chachi]

You're not alone.

Child please

[Pheidippides]

Agreed. As much as I like some of food network's programming, there is a lot of fluff in there. Shows which I don't really care for include:

Unwrapped. I admit, I watched this pretty regularly when I first got food network. But you can only see some many episodes telling you how many pounds of x a company goes through each year, or how many boxes of y they produce a day before you end up going "that machine pouring 1000 chocolate wafers at a time is kind of neat-o" and then change the channel.

40 Dollars a Day/Rachel's Travels. We get it. You're filthy rich. You get paid to travel to all kinds of cool places and eat in lavish restaurants. But there are a finite number of ways you can describe the taste/texture of something before you resort to orgasmic noises, and you usually get there by 5 minutes into the show, and then repeat it with every bite you take. But we males can't really relate to that whole "again and again and again" thing, so we lose interest quickly.

Semi-Homemade. The only thing more plastic than Sandra Lee's name is her rack. But then she pretends to cook. Let's be real: any show that features a prominent use of canned soups shouldn't be on the food network. (And FTR, nobody gives a f#&% about your tablescape, Sandra. Nobody.)

I could go on, and this is very theraputic, but I should probably do some work now.

Agreed on Unwrapped. It was interesting the first couple of times I watched, not so much thereafter. And you forgot the worst thing about the Rachael Ray trifecta of shows: they star Rachael Ray.

[MartyFunkhouser]

Anthony Bourdain agrees with donuthole

SANDRA LEE: Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What’s the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see. This is simply irresponsible programming. Its only possible use might be as a psychological warfare strategy against the resurgent Taliban–or dangerous insurgent groups. A large-racked blonde repeatedly urging Afghans and angry Iraqis to stuff themseles with fatty, processed American foods might be just the weapon we need to win the war on terror.

http://blog.ruhlman.com/2007/02/guest_blogging_.html

[UteStar]

One more thing, UteStar is about three years late to this party. Big surprise.

I just noticed, that we are currently on Page 2 of this Food Network thread...while the pitiful one you started only had a couple of replies. Speaks volumes to people wanting to read a thread started by UteStar and people ignoring YOhio's threads.

[Donuthole]

Anthony Bourdain agrees with donuthole


http://blog.ruhlman.com/2007/02/guest_blogging_.html

Would that I possessed the wit and vitriolic passion of Bourdain.

[Mrs. Funk]

Anthony Bourdain agrees with donuthole


http://blog.ruhlman.com/2007/02/guest_blogging_.html

Amusingly, in Medium Raw, Bourdain writes that he stopped mocking Rachel Ray because she sent him a fruit basket, and even for a heartless turd like himself, he has some vague sense of gentlemanliness that forbids him from mocking a woman who sent him a present.

[MartyFunkhouser]

Amusingly, in Medium Raw, Bourdain writes that he stopped mocking Rachel Ray because she sent him a fruit basket, and even for a heartless turd like himself, he has some vague sense of gentlemanliness that forbids him from mocking a woman who sent him a present.

I hope Sandra Lee never sends him a fruit basket.

[YOhio]

Anthony Bourdain agrees with donuthole


http://blog.ruhlman.com/2007/02/guest_blogging_.html

Wrong sequence. Donuthole probably ripped his opinion of Sandra Lee from watching Bourdain. Let's be honest, few people would know who Sandra Lee was if she wasn't the butt of Bourdain's jokes. Did you read his encounter with Sandra Lee at a dinner party? Funny stuff.

I'm standing there by the boeuf bourgignonne station, sucking down martinis with my wife (they drink a LOT of martinis in the movie), minding my own business, having an innocent chat with some friends, when I notice someone has their hand on me. An icy, tendril of fear runs down my spine. I turn and find myself looking straight into the deceptively attractive and reasonable looking face of Sandra Lee.
To make matters worse--and more.....uncomfortable, she's standing next to her boyfriend, Andrew Cuomo, the Attorney General of the State of New York.

Now, I've said some unkind things over the years about Sandra. Far too many and far too terrible things to ever apologize for. Plus, I pretty much meant every word. Once you've seen Sandra making Kwanzaa Cake on YouTube, there's no backing down . My head is reeling with the thought that one phone call from Cuomo and my last twenty years of tax returns are getting audited . I'm paralyzed, wondering what the statute of limitations is on various things I may or may not have done twenty years ago. Sandra is talking. I know this cause her lips are moving and she's saying--overtly anyway, nice things. Like "You're a very naughty man," and she's chatting amiably with my wife. But one hand is picking over me like the meat buyer at Peter Luger selecting a rib section--like some demonic bird of prey is poking and prodding, deciding where the weakest, most tender point of entry is, giving, as I recall, a point by point review of her investigations to my wife--who ordinarily, I have to say, would have been across the table with a tomahawk chop elbow to the top of the skull by now, but who, like me, sits mesmerized and grinning insanely, frozen by the ..bizarrenessof the moment which seems to go on forever as Sandra's hand wanders upward, tugs an ear lobe and asks if my ears are red yet. (They were.) Having had her way with me, she leaves the emptied husk of my carcass teetering at the table and moves on.

I felt like the victim of a drive-by shooting. "What just..happened?" I said with a weak, trembly voice. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed the quiet but very thorough disembowelment that had just occurred. Nothing. It had looked, to anyone who'd care to notice, like any other cocktail party conversation--but I knew better. I had looked into those eyes. I'd seen. Oh, she was smiling all right, but I'm pretty damn sure you could have dragged a rusty butterknife across my carotid artery right there at the table and her expression would not have changed, maybe only the eyes, they'd roll over white as I geysered onto the chafing dishes.


As we say on the show all the time, "What have we learned today?"


I learned that were a nuclear weapon to fall on New York, I'm pretty sure that if no one else, Sandra Lee would survive to clamber out of the rubble. That if it came down to a fight over the last can of food, she would surely emerge the victor.

I've only watched Sandra Lee a couple of times. It's boring and the food rarely appeals to me. But I don't get the vitriol directed at her or Food Network for running the show. It's a half-hour a day that appeals to the Soccer Mom demographic who want to make something cheap and easy. Some of the food she offers may be unhealthy or unappetizing, but it's probably better than fast food or a frozen pizza.

[Mrs. Funk]

Wrong sequence. Donuthole probably ripped his opinion of Sandra Lee from watching Bourdain. Let's be honest, few people would know who Sandra Lee was if she wasn't the butt of Bourdain's jokes. Did you read his encounter with Sandra Lee at a dinner party? Funny stuff.




I've only watched Sandra Lee a couple of times. It's boring and the food rarely appeals to me. But I don't get the vitriol directed at her or Food Network for running the show. It's a half-hour a day that appeals to the Soccer Mom demographic who want to make something cheap and easy. Some of the food she offers may be unhealthy or unappetizing, but it's probably better than fast food or a frozen pizza.

I don't care for what Sandra Lee is peddling, but I understand why it appeals to many people. I once watched a special about her life and that chick has been through a lot. At age 11, she pretty much fed, clothed, and raised her five younger siblings after her parents divorced.

So I think Bourdain had it coming to him, and sufficiently lacking in hubris to write up the incident.

[Pheidippides]

I don't care for what Sandra Lee is peddling, but I understand why it appeals to many people. I once watched a special about her life and that chick has been through a lot. At age 11, she pretty much fed, clothed, and raised her five younger siblings after her parents divorced.

So I think Bourdain had it coming to him, and sufficiently lacking in hubris to write up the incident.

Good for her about the background and hard work and all of that, but I'd strongly prefer that the Food Network not peddle what is essentially a 10-year old ward cookbook with big boobs.

[Mrs. Funk]

Good for her about the background and hard work and all of that, but I'd strongly prefer that the Food Network not peddle what is essentially a 10-year old ward cookbook with big boobs.

Don't forget the tablescapes. They're crap, I agree. The food? I would never eat it. I'm just saying that is Sandra Lee can make a buck and people like her stuff, I don't fault her.

[wuapinmon]

Good for her about the background and hard work and all of that, but I'd strongly prefer that the Food Network not peddle what is essentially a 10-year old ward cookbook with big boobs.

My wife won't watch her anymore because:

1. I make too many nervous comments about her boobs.

2. She has to make a cocktail with every meal. My wife hates alcohol.