The Most Humiliating Retail Uniforms

[TripletDaddy]

I saw this article and thought it was entertaining. As I was perusing, I was not surprised to be able to predict 5 of these. I would argue that others should be on the list.

http://network.yardbarker.com/all_sp...forms/11333002

A few highlights:

Best Buy

There are three kinds of people who can successfully pull off the look of a blue polo shirt tucked into a pair of iron-pressed khakis: Dads on vacation, undercover cops and dad cops on vacation.

Wal Mart

A slightly lower-end variation of the Best Buy uniform except worse because it indicates that it’s okay for customers to sneak up from behind and burden you with questions at any given moment. As a general rule, wearing sentences on your back is a fashion faux pas. As a general law, uniforms should not be sleeveless smocks unless you’re teaching 3rd graders about clay.

Medieval Times

Employees might think, “I look like a badass character from Game of Thrones.” Everyone else thinks, “I sure wish that Hobbit would give me more goddamn Pepsi.”

Foot Locker

This is perhaps the most recognizable retail uniform, which contributes to its downfall: Everyone you meet will instantly know that you sell sneakers for a living. Don’t even waste your time trying to convince a girl this is only a temporary thing, unless she’s European and mistakes you for an off-duty referee.

TGI Fridays

As Office Space put it: “Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?” The red and white stripes make these workers look like walking barber poles, helpful candy canes, or perhaps a White Stripes cover band named Lite Stripes.

Steak n Shake

Okay, we get the hat is a throwback to old school diners, but why the Chippendale bowtie? It makes everyone look like creepy Pee-Wee Hermans.

Hot Dog on a Stick

There’s something retro and Arrested Development frozen banana stand-ish about working here, but come on, you look like a clown had a baby with a beachball. We don’t even like the food, but we go because we feel bad for the workers. (And the sticks can be used to make arts and crafts on rainy days!)

What humiliating retail uniforms did you wear in your teen or college years?

I spent the summer between junior and senior year in HS working at the UA Theater in The Oaks Mall. That gig was pretty baller....snuck friends into movies, talked to lots of girls, stayed really late playing video games, and took part in a covert revenue ops scheme that was pretty disgusting but quite lucrative (I think I shared in a prior life). I also parlayed movie theater tickets into virtual currency throughout the mall. The only bad thing about that summer of love was the uniform. I hated it.



It looked very similar to this but my guess is that the pants and coat were even more ill-fitting. Also, we didn't get to carry flashlights

[Art Vandelay]

I can't see the photos on my phone. But the answer to the (unasked) question is: Hot Dog on a Stick. And really it isn't even close. From the name, to the colors, to the hat, to the fact that corndogs are disgusting. I honestly feel sorry for those girls (do they even hire guys?) every time I see a store, stuck in the corner of a soon-to-be-going-out-of-business food court.

[old_gregg]

I can't see the photos on my phone. But the answer to the (unasked) question is: Hot Dog on a Stick. And really it isn't even close. From the name, to the colors, to the hat, to the fact that corndogs are disgusting. I honestly feel sorry for those girls (do they even hire guys?) every time I see a store, stuck in the corner of a soon-to-be-going-out-of-business food court.

You shut your whore mouth

[il Padrino Ute]

When I worked at McDonald's during high school, we had were happy to wear those ugly, rust colored polyester unis. I could only find this photo, but those old enough to remember them, will immediately recognize them.

[il Padrino Ute]

What humiliating retail uniforms did you wear in your teen or college years?

I spent the summer between junior and senior year in HS working at the UA Theater in The Oaks Mall. That gig was pretty baller....snuck friends into movies, talked to lots of girls, stayed really late playing video games, and took part in a covert revenue ops scheme that was pretty disgusting but quite lucrative (I think I shared in a prior life). I also parlayed movie theater tickets into virtual currency throughout the mall. The only bad thing about that summer of love was the uniform. I hated it.



It looked very similar to this but my guess is that the pants and coat were even more ill-fitting. Also, we didn't get to carry flashlights

Because I've seen you, I'm guessing you looked more like Mark "Rat" Ratner than the guy above.

[Babs]

What humiliating retail uniforms did you wear in your teen or college years?

I have never worked in retail. I got to wear some great outfits when I was doing stints as a fitness model, but that's different.

The most humiliating uniforms I ever had to wear were when I was a girl scout in high school. My tenure as a senior-level scout coincided with GSUSA's attempt to make the older girls' uniforms look "upscale" and "stylish." They hired Bill Blass (bear in mind this was 1995) to design the update, and it was an unmitigated disaster. We looked like a cross between an airline stewardess and Ronald McDonald.

It's the one on the right with the big floppy bow tie:

[Color Me Badd Fan]

I have never worked in retail. I got to wear some great outfits when I was doing stints as a fitness model, but that's different.

The most humiliating uniforms I ever had to wear were when I was a girl scout in high school. My tenure as a senior-level scout coincided with GSUSA's attempt to make the older girls' uniforms look "upscale" and "stylish." They hired Bill Blass (bear in mind this was 1995) to design the update, and it was an unmitigated disaster. We looked like a cross between an airline stewardess and Ronald McDonald.

It's the one on the right with the big floppy bow tie:

What's a fitness model and what kind of outfits do they wear? I'm intrigued, please tell me more. Can someone use that Gene Wilder Willy Wonka photo and put this question on it?