Baby You're a Rich Man: The Baby Shower Etiquette Thread

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  • Donuthole
    Official Outgayer
    • Nov 2008
    • 25249

    #1

    Baby You're a Rich Man: The Baby Shower Etiquette Thread

    Can I get a ruling on baby showers? I ask because Mrs. D just got invited to a baby shower for a woman who already has 4 kids. This will be her fifth. She is having the same gender baby as her two youngest children, the youngest of which is not quite 3 years old.

    Maybe we are old fashioned in this regard, but Mrs. D and I both grew up with the understanding that, absent some unique circumstances, you get one baby shower. While we chose not to have one for our son, we're even ok with the idea that you get one shower for each gender, which seems to be the way the baby shower trend has moved over the last decade. But more and more we're seeing people having showers for their third, fourth, or, like in this situation, fifth child.

    Help me understand this phenomenon of endless baby showers. Is this something others are seeing as well, or is it unique to my locale? Is this merely Mormons not understanding that simply because they have double or triple the national average in children doesn't mean they get double or triple the baby showers?

    After thinking about it a bit, I think there are three circumstances which would justify a third baby shower (Against my personal feelings, I'm conceding that one shower for each gender is ok). At any rate, the list is as follows:

    1) You are broke, and there is no way you will be able to provide the typical comforts for this baby absent a shower.

    2) You have had difficulty conceiving, and there has been a significant enough break between your prior children and your forthcoming child, such that you no longer have any baby stuff.

    3) This new baby is a "whoops" baby and there has been a significant enough break between your prior children and your forthcoming child, such that you no longer have any baby stuff.

    I'm sure there are other reasons, but those are the three that jump out at me. And I almost feel like number 2 or 3 isn't sufficient reason unless accompanied by some financial distress. But perhaps I'm being ridiculous about this whole thing. At any rate, none of these applies in the instant situation.
    This is not a poor family. This is a young family with a husband who has a professional career and a wife who has chosen to be a SAHM. If they were having a "no gifts please" celebration, I wouldn't be typing this post. I am perfectly fine with anyone wanting to celebrate the birth of any child, regardless of number.

    Personally, if we are close to someone, we are going to take them a baby gift when their child is born. (Well, I guess I should clarify that if Mrs. D is close to someone, she is going to take them a gift from us. My friends get stiffed unless Mrs. D is close to the wife).

    What is your understanding of the unwritten rule?

    /ramble
    Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them, along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame set at gas mark “egg on your face”! -- Moss

    There's three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who's got the same first name as a city; and never go near a lady's got a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, everything else is cream cheese. --Coach Finstock
  • MarkGrace
    Grooveshark dick tease
    • Dec 2008
    • 31546

    #2
    People generally only do one baby shower? that's good to know. I usually don't know how these things work.
    So Russell...what do you love about music? To begin with, everything.

    Comment

    • Mrs. Funk
      Lawyer Wannabe
      • Nov 2008
      • 2690

      #3
      Generally one shower, maybe two like you said for a baby of each sex. After four kids? That's ridiculous.
      "You know, I was looking at your shirt and your scarf and I was thinking that if you had leaned over, I could have seen everything." ~Trial Ad Judge

      Comment

      • MarkGrace
        Grooveshark dick tease
        • Dec 2008
        • 31546

        #4
        Originally posted by Mrs. Funk View Post
        Generally one shower, maybe two like you said for a baby of each sex. After four kids? That's ridiculous.
        Interesting. Sounds like Triples got a windfall out of it.
        So Russell...what do you love about music? To begin with, everything.

        Comment

        • RC Vikings
          Known Heterosexual
          • Nov 2008
          • 8789

          #5
          I predict this thread won't make it to the second page.

          Comment

          • Mrs. Funk
            Lawyer Wannabe
            • Nov 2008
            • 2690

            #6
            Originally posted by MarkGrace View Post
            Interesting. Sounds like Triples got a windfall out of it.
            That actually reminds me of another situation I thought of. I someone had an unexpected multiples pregnancy (twins, triplets, whatever), I can see throwing another shower particularly if they don't have two (or more!) sets of baby stuff.
            "You know, I was looking at your shirt and your scarf and I was thinking that if you had leaned over, I could have seen everything." ~Trial Ad Judge

            Comment

            • Mrs. Funk
              Lawyer Wannabe
              • Nov 2008
              • 2690

              #7
              Originally posted by RC Vikings View Post
              I predict this thread won't make it to the second page.
              Quick, SuperGabs! Crack out the Tampax, on the double!
              "You know, I was looking at your shirt and your scarf and I was thinking that if you had leaned over, I could have seen everything." ~Trial Ad Judge

              Comment

              • Eddie
                Senior Member
                • Apr 2009
                • 8098

                #8
                I know of a single woman who adopted a teen daughter. Upon the finalization of the adoption, some friends and neighbors threw her a baby shower.

                From what I understand, it was a pretty awesome celebration of the event. I think some folks brought gifts - but had a lot of fun with it.

                For the record - I always thought baby showers were for the first baby. And if there was more than one, it was because more than one group of people were putting one on. Like one for friends, one for family and extended family, one for work, etc.

                But I figure they can have as many as they want. And you can choose to attend or not. In the end, it works out OK for everyone.

                Comment

                • mUUser
                  Giggity
                  • Jul 2009
                  • 1142

                  #9
                  She gets as many as she can get away with.

                  Comment

                  • Jacob
                    Junior Member
                    • Oct 2009
                    • 6801

                    #10
                    I agree with Donut. My SIL had her 3rd baby just prior to her 2nd marriage. She asked my wife to throw her a shower and I didn't care for the idea and neither did my wife, but she did it anyway.

                    I was opposed because
                    • It was a third child
                    • Having the child was irresponsible
                    • Getting married to the new baby daddy was irresponsible


                    They were broke, and there was a big gap, so she would have fit under the proposed exceptions. But I had no problem contributing our old stuff or maybe throwing in a little more to help, but the shower was too much. At least they didn't ask for a wedding shower or have a big wedding. I would have had to draw the line there. Justice of the peace.

                    Comment

                    • wuapinmon
                      Soul Plumber
                      • Dec 2008
                      • 30711

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Jacob View Post
                      I agree with Donut. My SIL had her 3rd baby just prior to her 2nd marriage. She asked my wife to throw her a shower and I didn't care for the idea and neither did my wife, but she did it anyway.

                      I was opposed because
                      • It was a third child
                      • Having the child was irresponsible
                      • Getting married to the new baby daddy was irresponsible


                      They were broke, and there was a big gap, so she would have fit under the proposed exceptions. But I had no problem contributing our old stuff or maybe throwing in a little more to help, but the shower was too much. At least they didn't ask for a wedding shower or have a big wedding. I would have had to draw the line there. Justice of the peace.
                      [YOUTUBE]umLUKBlpyoY[/YOUTUBE]
                      "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
                      The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

                      Comment

                      • New Mexican Disaster
                        Suomalainen
                        • Nov 2008
                        • 4549

                        #12
                        We had our third recently and everyone wnated to give us a baby shower. Did not really need one-part of that may be that this is the first child that we have had in this town.

                        I have not seen any baby born recently that did not have a baby shower though.

                        Comment

                        • Jacob
                          Junior Member
                          • Oct 2009
                          • 6801

                          #13
                          Originally posted by wuapinmon View Post
                          [YOUTUBE]umLUKBlpyoY[/YOUTUBE]
                          What's this got to do with the gospel or religion? Weird.






                          Also. We have 3 kids and had only one baby shower for our first. My other SIL didn' have baby showers for her recent kids. So I can think of lots of babies born recently that didn't have baby showers.
                          Last edited by Jacob; 07-30-2012, 05:21 PM.

                          Comment

                          • wuapinmon
                            Soul Plumber
                            • Dec 2008
                            • 30711

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Jacob View Post
                            I agree with Donut. My SIL had her 3rd baby just prior to her 2nd marriage. She asked my wife to throw her a shower and I didn't care for the idea and neither did my wife, but she did it anyway.

                            I was opposed because
                            • It was a third child
                            • Having the child was irresponsible
                            • Getting married to the new baby daddy was irresponsible


                            They were broke, and there was a big gap, so she would have fit under the proposed exceptions. But I had no problem contributing our old stuff or maybe throwing in a little more to help, but the shower was too much. At least they didn't ask for a wedding shower or have a big wedding. I would have had to draw the line there. Justice of the peace.
                            Originally posted by Jacob View Post
                            What's this got to do with the gospel or religion? Weird.
                            Apparently not a thing.
                            "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
                            The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

                            Comment

                            • SuperGabers
                              aka... UtahDan's Wifey
                              • May 2009
                              • 2182

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Mrs. Funk View Post
                              Quick, SuperGabs! Crack out the Tampax, on the double!
                              Roger!

                              Comment

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