Stories Grifters Tell

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  • falafel
    loves to talk on things
    • Mar 2009
    • 38030
    #1

    Stories Grifters Tell

    My wife came to my office today and we went to lunch together. In the parking lot of the restaurant, we were approached by a guy claiming to have just moved to Las Vegas from Louisana with his wife and children. He said he was a pipe fitter by trade, and that he was having trouble getting in contact with the union reps here who were supposed to be getting him temporary housing. In the meantime, he was trying to get some money together to buy his kids something to eat.

    My response to these sorts of stories is always the same: "Sorry man, I don't have any cash." And it was not any different this time. But my wife, genuinely interested in helping this guy if, by some miracle, his story is true, offers to buy his kids a happy meal from the McDonalds across the parking lot. The guy claimed that McDonalds was "a little harsh" for his kids, and that they normally try to eat better than that. He was looking to buy some bread and lunch meat, claiming that it would last longer (in a hot car?). In other words, he just wanted the money. When he saw we weren't going to give him anything, he left.

    I'm sure lots of people do this, but for some reason it never occurred to me to offer to actually buy the food. Even though I'm sure he was lying about the kids and the wife (he claimed his car was parked "over there on the side," but couldn't point it out when my wife asked for specifics), I still got annoyed when he said his family was above eating at McDonalds.
    Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

    Dig your own grave, and save!

    "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

    "I know that you are one of the cool and 'edgy' BYU fans" -- Wally

    GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!
    Tags: None
    • Lost Student
      BAND!
      • Nov 2008
      • 4324
      #2
      Originally posted by falafel View Post
      My wife came to my office today and we went to lunch together. In the parking lot of the restaurant, we were approached by a guy claiming to have just moved to Las Vegas from Louisana with his wife and children. He said he was a pipe fitter by trade, and that he was having trouble getting in contact with the union reps here who were supposed to be getting him temporary housing. In the meantime, he was trying to get some money together to buy his kids something to eat.

      My response to these sorts of stories is always the same: "Sorry man, I don't have any cash." And it was not any different this time. But my wife, genuinely interested in helping this guy if, by some miracle, his story is true, offers to buy his kids a happy meal from the McDonalds across the parking lot. The guy claimed that McDonalds was "a little harsh" for his kids, and that they normally try to eat better than that. He was looking to buy some bread and lunch meat, claiming that it would last longer (in a hot car?). In other words, he just wanted the money. When he saw we weren't going to give him anything, he left.

      I'm sure lots of people do this, but for some reason it never occurred to me to offer to actually buy the food. Even though I'm sure he was lying about the kids and the wife (he claimed his car was parked "over there on the side," but couldn't point it out when my wife asked for specifics), I still got annoyed when he said his family was above eating at McDonalds.
      That's a pretty funny reply--"nah, those chicken 'nugs are just too harsh for my kids' delicate palates."

      My MiL carries around a stack of McD's gift cards for such occasions, and usually the beggar just gets mad that she won't offer any actual money.
      "Seriously, is there a bigger high on the whole face of the earth than eating a salad?"--SeattleUte
      "The only Ute to cause even half the nationwide hysteria of Jimmermania was Ted Bundy."--TripletDaddy
      This is a tough, NYC broad, a doctor who deals with bleeding organs, dying people and testicles on a regular basis without crying."--oxcoug
      "I'm not impressed (and I'm even into choreography . . .)"--Donuthole
      "I too was fortunate to leave with my same balls."--byu71

        Comment

        • RobinFinderson
          Banned
          • Nov 2008
          • 10548
          #3
          I'd call that guy a 'panhandler,' though I guess he is technically a 'grifter' too. I generally reserve the 'grifter' title for petty cons, slightly more elaborate than lying about desperate circumstances.

            Comment

            • falafel
              loves to talk on things
              • Mar 2009
              • 38030
              #4
              Originally posted by RobinFinderson View Post
              I'd call that guy a 'panhandler,' though I guess he is technically a 'grifter' too. I generally reserve the 'grifter' title for petty cons, slightly more elaborate than lying about desperate circumstances.
              That's a good distinction. I was originally going to call him a Bum, but that seemed too "harsh."
              Ain't it like most people, I'm no different. We love to talk on things we don't know about.

              Dig your own grave, and save!

              "The only one of us who is so significant that Jeff owes us something simply because he decided to grace us with his presence is falafel." -- All-American

              "I know that you are one of the cool and 'edgy' BYU fans" -- Wally

              GIVE 'EM HELL, BRIGHAM!

                Comment

                • Clark Addison
                  Senior Member
                  • Nov 2008
                  • 10327
                  #5
                  When I have time, I sometimes offer to buy lunch, and I've had a few people take me up on it.

                  A couple of days ago, I was heading into a small convenience store to get some gum, mostly so I could break a $20 bill so I could take the bus. A guy was standing outside, and as I went in he said "Would you mind buying me a Coke?". I said "sure thing", and that must have pegged me as an easy mark, because as he brought his Coke up, he grabbed a king-sized Snickers and said, "How about this too?" Thinking of King Benjamin, I went ahead and allowed it.

                    Comment

                    • Danimal
                      Junior Member
                      • May 2009
                      • 387
                      #6
                      I took the kids to McDonald's a few weeks ago. A guy was panhandling outside the entrance and asked for money to take a bus out of state. He said he was down on his luck. I said I didn't have any cash but I'd buy him a meal if he was hungry. He hesitated but took me up on it. He got a big Mac extra value meal and was very appreciative.

                      A while back a guy approached me in the middle of a Walmart parking lot with a story about coming for a funeral, not having any $, and no gas to get home. I offered to buy him some gas as there was a gas station nearby. He agreed, went to his car, and then drove off. I think one of the 3 nephites must have filled it up while we were talking.

                        Comment

                        • Katy Lied
                          Senior Member
                          • Dec 2008
                          • 9435
                          #7
                          One of my coworkers said she used to panhandle. She said she made a ton of money, but the conditions were bad. Too hot in the summer, too cold in the winter.

                            Comment

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