Do you help (meaning do most of the work) your children

[Soccermom]

on their school projects, e.g. CA missions project?

My oldest son had to build a mission this year as part of the 4th grade curriculum. He designed and built a great mission. I was really proud of it. He was very pleased. We went to school this morning. His mission looks like crap compared to many of the others. If parents didn't help with those projects then my little guy has no chance in life.

I think he is mad at me for not helping him now. Stupid projects!

[Mrs. Funk]

on their school projects, e.g. CA missions project?

My oldest son had to build a mission this year as part of the 4th grade curriculum. He designed and built a great mission. I was really proud of it. He was very pleased. We went to school this morning. His mission looks like crap compared to many of the others. If parents didn't help with those projects then my little guy has no chance in life.

I think he is mad at me for not helping him now. Stupid projects!

If it makes you feel any better, my mom never helped me out on projects and my always looked stupid compared to the other elementary school kids' projects. I don't think I was permanently scarred.

On a side-note, it AMAZES me the complexity of the projects my younger siblings are receiving in school. What teacher thinks either the kids OR the parents have that kind of time?

[wuapinmon]

If it makes you feel any better, my mom never helped me out on projects and my always looked stupid compared to the other elementary school kids' projects. I don't think I was permanently scarred.

On a side-note, it AMAZES me the complexity of the projects my younger siblings are receiving in school. What teacher thinks either the kids OR the parents have that kind of time?

I got a project once to make a map in 3D. It could be any map. Most people made diaramas of their yard. I made a map of the USA out of different colors of Playdough. I took pieces from my Zaxxon board game and installed them where the US had known nuclear missle silos, info that I got from an issue of US News and World Report. It was gorgeous, a true wonder of the fifth-grade world.

It was winter time. Our house is heated by a wood-burning stove. When I awoke, the play-DOH! had all dried, and cracked, and peeled. It was crumbling. I took it to school. My explanation feel on Mrs. LaVie's deaf ears. I got a C.

In fifth grade my dad and I made a working reservoir with power generator. I took the motor from my X-wing fighter. We sealed the whole thing in plumber's putty and duct tape. It worked. It would light a small nub lightbulb.

I didn't get to go to the science fair because they didn't like my hypothesis.

Projects are good memories, but man, when we did the "protect the egg thrown off the gym" or "Build a bridge from popsicle sticks" ones, I know that the winners' parents did all the work.

[The_Tick]

I am with you Soccermom.

My youngest has to build a volcano and it is due next Friday. I am going to help her in the fact that we are going to you spray insulation to make the volcano. I don't want her or the garage to get covered in the crap. Once we have built it (sprayed the goo) the rest of it is up the her. The shaving (which is how you create your volcanos look with this stuff. All you parents out there can thank me for this tidbit.) And she will do the painting and the whole bit.

Here is the crappy part about her project Lava rules

You cannot use the following:

1. Soda
2. Baking powder
3. Mentos

Now I think I am going to use Hydrogen Peroxide and either yeast or Alka Seltzer.

We are going to blow shit up this weekend.

[wuapinmon]

I am with you Soccermom.

My youngest has to build a volcano and it is due next Friday. I am going to help her in the fact that we are going to you spray insulation to make the volcano. I don't want her or the garage to get covered in the crap. Once we have built it (sprayed the goo) the rest of it is up the her. The shaving (which is how you create your volcanos look with this stuff. All you parents out there can thank me for this tidbit.) And she will do the painting and the whole bit.

Here is the crappy part about her project Lava rules

You cannot use the following:

1. Soda
2. Baking powder
3. Mentos

Now I think I am going to use Hydrogen Peroxide and either yeast or Alka Seltzer.

We are going to blow shit up this weekend.

Dry ice chips and hot water. Build a chamber underneath with a rubber membrane. Put the dry ice chips in the chamber, install it, and then pour the hot water down the volcano mouth.

[BigPiney]

My parents always helped me and my projects always rocked. My wife was in your boat and her's sucked eggs.

She wants to have our kids do it theirselves, which is fine by me since I am lazy. We will be doing the Mission stuff next year, 4th grade, for the first time. My son is one of 3 smart kids in his class, and there is little to no parental involvement anywhere coming from the rez, so I don't think we will have to worry about him being upstaged by these other kids parents projects.

[Surfah]

My parents helped me cut stuff out of wood and such. All the painting and detail stuff was mine.

The missions were dumb. I did the San Buenaventura mission. Most kids did San Fernando.

I think the following year we had to make pyramids. My dad cut out the pieces for that one as well. How do you expect a kid to fabricate 4 equal pieces and have them beveled so they fit together nicely? Also, you wouldn't believe the number of pyramids that only had 3 sides.

In 6th grade we had to make a Rube Goldberg machine with ridiculous requirements. You had to have at least 5 actions and reactions, using 3 different forms of energy (chemical, electric, kinetic, etc.) and in the end it had to ring or sound a bell. Mine was bad ass. But in the end my mousetrap catapult sent the nut to hit the bell across the room and instead of into the bell.

[beelzebabette]

My parents never helped me with my school projects (beyond the basics I asked for, like driving me to the store for materials or being a sounding board for my brainstorming). My projects were pretty middle of the road, but that drove creativity to compete better the next year.

The one time my project really stunk comparatively--there was a better volcano at the science display in 4th grade than mine--my dad went out and bought better materials so we could build a better volcano at home (just for my edification). I consider it my Pinewood Derby, and I have great memories from that.

[RockyBalboa]

My Mom had a bazillion kids to raise and when my Dad wasn't at work, he was at the church, so if there were any projects that needed to be done in school, I always did them by myself.

[FN Phat]

My parents helped me cut stuff out of wood and such. All the painting and detail stuff was mine.

The missions were dumb. I did the San Buenaventura mission. Most kids did San Fernando.

I think the following year we had to make pyramids. My dad cut out the pieces for that one as well. How do you expect a kid to fabricate 4 equal pieces and have them beveled so they fit together nicely? Also, you wouldn't believe the number of pyramids that only had 3 sides.

In 6th grade we had to make a Rube Goldberg machine with ridiculous requirements. You had to have at least 5 actions and reactions, using 3 different forms of energy (chemical, electric, kinetic, etc.) and in the end it had to ring or sound a bell. Mine was bad ass. But in the end my mousetrap catapult sent the nut to hit the bell across the room and instead of into the bell.

It is a good thing your dad is handy or else your project would just have been bad, not bad ass.

[cougjunkie]

I remember California History very fondly. We had to make missions as well, but out of sugar cubes. Mine sucked ass.

[PaloAltoCougar]

I remember California History very fondly. We had to make missions as well, but out of sugar cubes. Mine sucked ass.

I had to build Mission San Juan Bautista, including the bell tower where Jimmy Stewart freaked out going after Kim Novak. Though given the assignment approximately four months in advance, I briefed my mother about the project for the first time twelve hours before the school bell. I assumed this was plenty of time, notwithstanding the fact that my mother felt eight of those hours should have been devoted to sleep.

She went to work making homemade play dough, which I eventually slathered over a cereal box frame I had assembled with my usual third grade precision. I then applied some tempera paint, and voila! A masterpiece of which Father Serra and the mestizos would have regarded with awe.

Unforrtunately, carrying the mess to school, coupled with the rain, resulted in a Jabba the Hutt-like mess, and it looked more like one of those burial mounds people around here find so fascinating. My teacher laughed, LAUGHED!, at my efforts, and my mom vowed never to help me with a late project again.

[YOhio]

My mom used to help me but my dad didn't. So I always won the science fair and got my ass kicked in the pinewood derby.

[HuskyFreeNorthwest]

I am with you Soccermom.

My youngest has to build a volcano and it is due next Friday. I am going to help her in the fact that we are going to you spray insulation to make the volcano. I don't want her or the garage to get covered in the crap. Once we have built it (sprayed the goo) the rest of it is up the her. The shaving (which is how you create your volcanos look with this stuff. All you parents out there can thank me for this tidbit.) And she will do the painting and the whole bit.

Here is the crappy part about her project Lava rules

You cannot use the following:

1. Soda
2. Baking powder
3. Mentos

Now I think I am going to use Hydrogen Peroxide and either yeast or Alka Seltzer.

We are going to blow shit up this weekend.

Sounds like gun powder isn't against the rules then. My BIL and I built a really cool volcano last summer, it shot candy about 100 feet in the air.

[TripletDaddy]

I was often left to my own devices, so my projects were never as impressive as my peers.

One example of School Project Fail occurred in elementary school. We were asked to cut the side off an old-school milk carton, thereby creating an open box in which we were to put some soil and plant some seeds. We were also instructed to cut open a window on the side of the carton and cover it in plastic wrap so that the roots could be observed. The task was pretty simple.

In talking to friends, it became clear that pretty much everyone was going to the home supplies store (this was pre Home Depot...I think it was called Home Base?) and buying potting soil....the nice, dark, rich looking stuff. When I asked my mom to drive me, she said no. She told me to just use dirt from the hillside behind our house. Her reasoning was that the dirt back there was good enough to grow all those plants, trees, and weeds, so why not for my project? I was unhappy with that, but complied.

When it came time for the day that everyone brought their projects, I was pretty ambivalent. It wasn't a particular exciting science project and my seeds did not grow (shocker). I was basically bringing a sawed-off milk carton filled with dirt and small rocks that I was too lazy to remove. Does anyone remember that feeling when you show up early to school and you catch a few glimpses of your classmates' projects, homework, etc? And you suddenly get a gut punch and the sneaking suspicion that you may have done your assignment incorrectly? When I arrived at school that morning, I immediately knew I was in trouble. Other kids were showing up with what looked like freaking "Jumanji in a box" and here I was, Charlie Brown with his pathetic, mostly-dead Christmas tree. Some kids had little vines flowing off the side of their cartons. One girl had planted 3 different kinds of seeds, all sown in neat rows and marked off with small pictured tags inserted into the potting soil.

Once all the projects were laid out on the table, mine stood out like a sore thumb. In addition to letter grades, several awards were given out, kind of like a traditional science fair. In the ultimate coup de grace, the teacher awarded me the "Most Natural" award. The funny thing was that it was clearly totally made up, as no such designation had been previously discussed. I guess she felt bad for me and didn't want me to go Bille Joe McAllister off the Thousand Oaks Bridge.