Do Bald Men Dream of Hairy Sheep?

[Clark Addison]

I had an interesting dream last night. Actually, more of a sad, pathetic dream. But first a little background.

Hi, I'm Clark Addison, and I'm a bald man.

The first 18 years of my life, my mother cut my hair. Toward the end of this run, I remember her pulling my hair back and saying "I think you are going to be bald when you get older", which is just a wonderful thing for a mother to say to her 18 year old son.

Fortunately, nothing was noticable to anyone but a mother's eye for several years. I had a pretty full head of hair through my 20s. In my early 30s, it became more noticable, and I started cutting my hair very short and classified myself as "balding". Over the past couple of years, this has accelerated, and I recently came to the conclusion that I have passed from "balding" to "bald".

Let me say here, that I never worried too much about this. I am happily married, so I don't really care how I look to women. There are definitely some positives. I have not paid for a haircut in years, I save money on shampoo, I do not have to blow-dry/comb/style or do anything else to my hair in the morning. Overall, it is a very satisfactory arrangement. I have never looked into any kind of hair replacement or treatment options. The only drawback is that I have to wear hats quite a bit (sunburn in the summer/cold in the winter).

That brings us to last night. I have had this dream 2 or 3 times in the last few years. As I said earlier, my hair is very short. It hasn't been longer than an inch or so in about 10 years. In this dream, I have grown my hair out, and I find that as I comb it, I do not look bald at all. The length of the hair overcomes any thinning that has occured (let me emphasize very strongly that in the dream I do NOT have a comb-over). I spend some time combing my hair and thinking of how good it looks. Then I awake, and in the first few groggy moments I think, "Oh, that's nice, I will have to keep my hair longer, as I am no longer bald". Then reality sets in.

This dream is somewhat sad for me, as I realize that deep in my sub-conscious, there is a part of my brain that is very upset at being bald, and wants its hair back. It may be that I actually am terribly depressed and furious about losing my hair, and am just repressing it. For all I know I may snap in in 2 years. I'll calmly leave my house one morning with a hunting rifle and start sniping off people on the street who have thick, luxurious locks. If so, I blame my old co-worker from a few years back. I was then in my mid-30s, and had just had a baby daughter. I had the picture of this daughter proudly displayed on my desk. She came into my office, looked at the picture, and said "Oh, she's so cute. Is that your granddaughter?"

She wouldn't have said that to me if I had hair.

[RobinFinderson]

I loved this post. You have amazing dreams! Keep sharing.

[RC Vikings]

My father was bald, my grandfathers were bald, I knew I was going to lose it to so I was ready for it. The part I wasn't ready for was how it decided to plant itself everywhere else. My fear is I'll be in some nursing home and the grandkids will be afraid to come see me because I can't groom myself anymore and no one will do it for me and their is hair growing everywhere but on the top of my head.

[Clark Addison]

There is a man who works at my office. About ten years ago, he worked for me, so I know him fairly well. He took a new job within our organization, but he still works on my floor, so I see him often.

A couple of years ago, a woman started working on his team. They, both single, hit it off, and got married about 18 months ago. He was not particularly young, probably about 40 when they got married, so they started trying to have children right away. These efforts were fruitless, but in the end fortuitous, for he was led to a doctor who found that the reason for his lack of success was that he had testicular cancer. The cancer was caught relatively early, and he was away for several weeks during his treatment. He returned to work three or four weeks ago, looking pretty healthy and unchanged, except for a complete lack of hair. I am very happy to have him back, and very happy that he is healthy. Over the last couple of weeks, his hair has started to grow back. Every time I see him, it is a bit longer, and is now looking like a moderate buzz cut. Happy as I am for him, that same small and suppressed part of my brain that dreams of growing my hair out on occasion sees him, and thinks, "That's not fair. His hair is growing back."

It is probably not my most charitable thought of the day.

[Pelado]

My father was bald, my grandfathers were bald, I knew I was going to lose it to so I was ready for it. The part I wasn't ready for was how it decided to plant itself everywhere else. My fear is I'll be in some nursing home and the grandkids will be afraid to come see me because I can't groom myself anymore and no one will do it for me and their is hair growing everywhere but on the top of my head.

I was also pretty well prepared for my relatively bare head. My maternal grandfather's head had slightly more hair than an egg. The heads of my dad and paternal grandfather carried a barren wasteland on the crown surrounded by wispy strands of hair forming a protective ring around the bald spot. Also, by at least 7th grade, I've had a higher hairline than is typically expected for my age.

While probably still not technically bald, I'm definitely balding, or follicley challenged.

I'm not sure whether or not my bona fides qualify me to address the topic of the thread. Just in case, I feel it necessary to share that I recall no dreams involving hairy sheep. Doesn't necessarily mean that I haven't/don't dream of them, just that I have no recollection of said potential dreams.


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[YOhio]

There is a man who works at my office. About ten years ago, he worked for me, so I know him fairly well. He took a new job within our organization, but he still works on my floor, so I see him often.

A couple of years ago, a woman started working on his team. They, both single, hit it off, and got married about 18 months ago. He was not particularly young, probably about 40 when they got married, so they started trying to have children right away. These efforts were fruitless, but in the end fortuitous, for he was led to a doctor who found that the reason for his lack of success was that he had testicular cancer. The cancer was caught relatively early, and he was away for several weeks during his treatment. He returned to work three or four weeks ago, looking pretty healthy and unchanged, except for a complete lack of hair. I am very happy to have him back, and very happy that he is healthy. Over the last couple of weeks, his hair has started to grow back. Every time I see him, it is a bit longer, and is now looking like a moderate buzz cut. Happy as I am for him, that same small and suppressed part of my brain that dreams of growing my hair out on occasion sees him, and thinks, "That's not fair. His hair is growing back."

It is probably not my most charitable thought of the day.

lol. That guy who got cancer in his balls and can't have kids is so lucky his hair is growing back. Life is just so unfair!

[jay santos]

CA, you should be a writer.

[beefytee]

There is a man who works at my office. About ten years ago, he worked for me, so I know him fairly well. He took a new job within our organization, but he still works on my floor, so I see him often.

A couple of years ago, a woman started working on his team. They, both single, hit it off, and got married about 18 months ago. He was not particularly young, probably about 40 when they got married, so they started trying to have children right away. These efforts were fruitless, but in the end fortuitous, for he was led to a doctor who found that the reason for his lack of success was that he had testicular cancer. The cancer was caught relatively early, and he was away for several weeks during his treatment. He returned to work three or four weeks ago, looking pretty healthy and unchanged, except for a complete lack of hair. I am very happy to have him back, and very happy that he is healthy. Over the last couple of weeks, his hair has started to grow back. Every time I see him, it is a bit longer, and is now looking like a moderate buzz cut. Happy as I am for him, that same small and suppressed part of my brain that dreams of growing my hair out on occasion sees him, and thinks, "That's not fair. His hair is growing back."

It is probably not my most charitable thought of the day.

With PAC recently posted the 9/11 Seinfeld script, this made me think that a variation of this could be on an episode as Constanza's storyline.

Also, I agree with jay. I love reading your stuff.

[hostile]

Acting on his dream nearly costs Joe Buck his broadcasting career.

http://m.bleacherreport.com/articles/2667970-joe-buck-details-how-hair-plug-surgery-almost-cost-him-broadcasting-career?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial

[Clark Addison]

Acting on his dream nearly costs Joe Buck his broadcasting career.
http://m.bleacherreport.com/articles...aign=editorial

When I started thinking about writing a book, this was the main reason why. It wasn't about stories with my dad.

Only Joe Friggin' Buck would think it is more important to detail his struggles with hair plugs than to talk about his father, Jack Buck. Joe and Chip Caray are the reasons I am glad that Vin Scully didn't have any kids go into broadcasting.

[Clark Addison]

You will all be pleased to know that I am testing my dream from 10 years ago.

For the first two months of pandemic, I, like many, grew a beard. a few weeks back, after discovering I was just as homely with a beard as without, and growing tired of it, I shaved it off. For many years, I have shaved my head (above the ears) with a razor at least once a week, so have never had more than stubble. Two weeks ago, I decided that this will be my new experiment, and will not be cutting my hair. With any luck, in three or four weeks, I will be letting you know that I am no longer among the ranks of the bald.

Also, just as an FYI, I am not as good with the thread titles as many of the folks here, but I have always been very fond of this one. And while it hasn't garnered many replies, at least Katy hasn't come in and said how lame it is.

[Pelado]

You will all be pleased to know that I am testing my dream from 10 years ago.

For the first two months of pandemic, I, like many, grew a beard. a few weeks back, after discovering I was just as homely with a beard as without, and growing tired of it, I shaved it off. For many years, I have shaved my head (above the ears) with a razor at least once a week, so have never had more than stubble. Two weeks ago, I decided that this will be my new experiment, and will not be cutting my hair. With any luck, in three or four weeks, I will be letting you know that I am no longer among the ranks of the bald.

Also, just as an FYI, I am not as good with the thread titles as many of the folks here, but I have always been very fond of this one. And while it hasn't garnered many replies, at least Katy hasn't come in and said how lame it is yet.

Fify

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[old_gregg]

this thread is a goddamn waste of time without pictures