Aggressively friendly

[Scott R Nelson]

Have you ever met some stranger who is "aggressively friendly"?

Normally when someone says "how ya doin'?" and don't even slow down as they're walking past, I'll just respond with "hi" (or often "hey"), because that's what I figure that they mean. And most of the time that's just fine.

But there was one guy a few months back - not somewhere like work or church - who apparently didn't hear my answer who comes back with "I SAID, HOW YA DOIN?" I'm like

It was such a surprise to me that all I could come up with was a slightly louder "fine, fine", rather than what I should have said: "Like I said the first time, I'm doing fine". I should have pointed out that he missed my first answer, but I never think of such things in time.

I'm annoyed by people who say "how are you", or "how are you doing", who obviously don't want to know how I'm doing and don't want to even slow down a tiny bit as they pass to hear my answer.

But I'm more annoyed at total strangers who manage to be "friendly" in a totally rude manner.

Am I the only one that this happens to?

[Babs]

I have run into people like this. One I remember, he asked, "how are you," and I responded with a "hello." He actually called me out on the fact that I responded with the wrong greeting. (In my experience, nobody but a close friend is genuinely interested in how you are, so I tend to respond more to the intent of the greeting rather than to the question posed.)

What really annoys me is when it's like seven o'clock in the evening and the grocery checker will tell you to have a nice day. I occasionally consider answering brightly, "no, actually, this one's already over and it's been really shitty, but I'm still holding out hope for tomorrow!" Instead I usually just say thanks and then pointedly suggest that she "have a good night."

[SeattleUte]

I have run into people like this. One I remember, he asked, "how are you," and I responded with a "hello." He actually called me out on the fact that I responded with the wrong greeting. (In my experience, nobody but a close friend is genuinely interested in how you are, so I tend to respond more to the intent of the greeting rather than to the question posed.)

What really annoys me is when it's like seven o'clock in the evening and the grocery checker will tell you to have a nice day. I occasionally consider answering brightly, "no, actually, this one's already over and it's been really shitty, but I'm still holding out hope for tomorrow!" Instead I usually just say thanks and then pointedly suggest that she "have a good night."

I'm sure aggressively friendly strangers is a bigger problem for women than for men.

[Babs]

I'm sure aggressively friendly strangers is a bigger problem for women than for men.

I think that's a different thread.

[DrumNFeather]

I always respond wrong and mix up my phases. "How you doing DNF" "Fine, how you goin?"

[Scott R Nelson]

What really annoys me is when it's like seven o'clock in the evening and the grocery checker will tell you to have a nice day. I occasionally consider answering brightly, "no, actually, this one's already over and it's been really shitty, but I'm still holding out hope for tomorrow!"

I've occasionally answered: "It's already too late for that!"

[Surfah]

I have run into people like this. One I remember, he asked, "how are you," and I responded with a "hello." He actually called me out on the fact that I responded with the wrong greeting. (In my experience, nobody but a close friend is genuinely interested in how you are, so I tend to respond more to the intent of the greeting rather than to the question posed.)

What really annoys me is when it's like seven o'clock in the evening and the grocery checker will tell you to have a nice day. I occasionally consider answering brightly, "no, actually, this one's already over and it's been really shitty, but I'm still holding out hope for tomorrow!" Instead I usually just say thanks and then pointedly suggest that she "have a good night."

Funny. I had a weird roommate in college for a semester who replied to everything with "pretty good."

Me: What's up?

Roommate: Pretty good.

Me:

[falafel]

I always respond wrong and mix up my phases. "How you doing DNF" "Fine, how you goin?"

Ha! I do that sometimes.

When someone passing me in the hall or on the street says "How're ya doing?" I usually just say "Good!" and keep walking. I sometimes wonder if they're annoyed that I didn't ask to see how they were doing, but by then I'm 20 feet down the hall.

[pellegrino]

I can understand the annoyance at this. It used to be that I was annoyed at strangers who would say ask me how I was. What business did they have with me? Then I was talking with an Italian friend, who actually appreciates the open (albeit sometimes aggressive) friendliness common in the States. She viewed it as a breath of fresh air, a nice change from the coldness of the European public sphere where generally it is considered rude to greet a stranger for no apparent reason. I tend to agree with her that the other option is less appealing. That said, I find the insistence that you respond as overbearing and decidedly unfriendly.

[byu71]

Isn't it possible that a phrase or a combo of words can morph into their own meaning. When I say "how are you doing", I am saying hello.

I remember going to France when I was 17 and after 2 year of French. I would walk up to someone and say Comment Tally Vous. How are you in French. I would get a blank stare or smile.

They say c'est va, meaning it goes? The response is c'est va, it goes.

I hardly ever heard bonjour.

[RobinFinderson]

I used to be one of these annoyingly friendly strangers. I'd say, "Hello! How are you doing?" With my palm outstretched to shake hands. Then I would say, "My companion and I were wondering if we could sing you a hymn."

[Mrs. Funk]

I tend to smile and say "Hi there" or "Hello" to strangers (of the non-creepy variety). In France, I had to tone this down a great deal since this was taken as a come-on. I was asked out for coffee about three times within a week during my last visit to Paris.

I think it's awkward when people ask a question as we are crossing paths. "How's it going?" or "How are you doing?" are both irritating questions to answer in transit, and more than anything I know they aren't actually interested in how I'm doing.

Having worked retail, I'm very nice and friendly to retail employees. I know the difference one happy and friendly person can make during a crappy day of being a store grunge. I have the added benefit that this usually gets me better service. (I never understood the people who, when I asked as I was supposed to "Is there anything I can help you find?", responded, "No! If I needed you, I would have come found you." SNARL)

[il Padrino Ute]

This reminds me of Judge Reinhold as "the close talker" on Seinfeld:

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