My day today...

[ERCougar]

The fact that I found this hilariously funny probably speaks more to the crappy day I've had today, but I'll share anyway. The medical people will probably find some humor in it anyway...

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[CardiacCoug]

That was great. I love the long list of allergies -- the direct correlation between the number of allergies and the craziness of the patient is something you learn pretty early on.

[ERCougar]

That was great. I love the long list of allergies -- the direct correlation between the number of allergies and the craziness of the patient is something you learn pretty early on.

Yeah, that was great--"non-narcotics, wind, fake leather...". And the list of actual drugs that they're allergic to...perfect. Other great lines: "I have hand-twitching seizure pain", "I am anxious that you're not giving me Xanax", "Can I have a doctor that will give me Valium?" I swear I saw this patient ten times today.

I wish Finderson were here. THIS is why they pay us. If all we had to do were treat appreciative people with real illnesses, I'd do it for peanuts. These people suck the life out of me, and the thing that gets me through it is the thought that at least I'm getting paid.

EDIT: The line we quoted for the last few hours: "and a Sierra Mist and a meal tray", made funnier by the fact that we had three meal trays sitting on the desk with Sierra Mists on them. It's amazing how immediately hungry people get the minute they walk in after days of "not holding down anything".

[Jarid in Cedar]

2 axioms that I fully endorse:

1. Every Dr. needs a way out of their clinic tat cannot be seen by patients
2. If a person lists more than 4 allergies the probability of crazy >70%

[Jarid in Cedar]

Yeah, that was great--"non-narcotics, wind, fake leather...". And the list of actual drugs that they're allergic to...perfect. Other great lines: "I have hand-twitching seizure pain", "I am anxious that you're not giving me Xanax", "Can I have a doctor that will give me Valium?" I swear I saw this patient ten times today.

I wish Finderson were here. THIS is why they pay us. If all we had to do were treat appreciative people with real illnesses, I'd do it for peanuts. These people suck the life out of me, and the thing that gets me through it is the thought that at least I'm getting paid.

EDIT: The line we quoted for the last few hours: "and a Sierra Mist and a meal tray", made funnier by the fact that we had three meal trays sitting on the desk with Sierra Mists on them. It's amazing how immediately hungry people get the minute they walk in after days of "not holding down anything".

Please, for the love of God, please do not send them our way [/begging on hands and knees]

[falafel]

Yeah, that was great--"non-narcotics, wind, fake leather...".

"the direction east..." lol

[ERCougar]

Please, for the love of God, please do not send them our way [/begging on hands and knees]

"I don't have much experience treating hand seizure pain, but fortunately, we have an outstanding physician, nay--specialist--in hand seizures in town. He also would be very good at treating your fibromyalgia, mitral valve prolapse, and IBS. Go see him and tell your friends!"

[Portland Ute]

The fact that I found this hilariously funny probably speaks more to the crappy day I've had today, but I'll share anyway. The medical people will probably find some humor in it anyway...

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LMAO!!! While I am but a mere dentist, I really appreciate that. Thanks!

I've had conversations that are nearly verbatim although they did not involve seizures.

I like when they ask to speak with my boss...and I tell them I am the boss. And the business owner.

I love the list of medications to which they are allergic. "Oh, my previous doctor told me I should not take ibuprofen or aspiring and I have a bad liver so tylenol is not good for me. I've had something like "set" before. What's that one? Perkin's? Pecto? Oh...yeah...percocet. That one works great."

Me: "Really, percocet contains tylenol..." Them: "Oh, really? Well, that must not be it. However, I do know that I can take lortab."

"Ma'am, Lortab also contains Tylenol."

<Silence>

Patient: "Well, my jaw hurts and if you aren't going to help me, I want to speak to your manager."

"My office manager is employed by me. I own this practice. She cannot give you a prescription."

"Well, I'm going somewhere else but I am going to let everyone know how awful you are to people that are in need..."

[wuapinmon]

2 axioms that I fully endorse:

1. Every Dr. needs a way out of their clinic tat cannot be seen by patients

I thought every good clinician has his/her own vomitorium.

[ERCougar]

LMAO!!! While I am but a mere dentist, I really appreciate that. Thanks!

I've had conversations that are nearly verbatim although they did not involve seizures.

I like when they ask to speak with my boss...and I tell them I am the boss. And the business owner.

I love the list of medications to which they are allergic. "Oh, my previous doctor told me I should not take ibuprofen or aspiring and I have a bad liver so tylenol is not good for me. I've had something like "set" before. What's that one? Perkin's? Pecto? Oh...yeah...percocet. That one works great."

Me: "Really, percocet contains tylenol..." Them: "Oh, really? Well, that must not be it. However, I do know that I can take lortab."

"Ma'am, Lortab also contains Tylenol."

<Silence>

Patient: "Well, my jaw hurts and if you aren't going to help me, I want to speak to your manager."

"My office manager is employed by me. I own this practice. She cannot give you a prescription."

"Well, I'm going somewhere else but I am going to let everyone know how awful you are to people that are in need..."

hehehe...I love the "pretend I'm not a total pro at knowing every possible pain med" routine. We get the "I can't remember the name...it starts with a D...." to which I volunteer "Darvocet? OK!" (which just doesn't have the same effect as the desired Dilaudid).