The things I shouldn't have said to my spouse thread.

[falafel]

Last night I told my wife to "Get the Hell Out!" of the room so that I could go back to playing xbox. Her jaw hit the floor and I threw the controller on the ground and rushed to apologize. I won't go further into the details, but I did NOT just go off on her for simply coming into the room while I was playing xbox. There was some basis for my comment, but not very much.

[statman]

When I placed my palm to my wife's forehead like an evangelical preacher and yelled, "out! out demon!"

Did not go over well.

lol - I use "be healed" - with much the same reaction...

[Pheidippides]

"I don't have enough money to buy footwear that allows me to successfully walk on eggshells."

I am using this one.

[wuapinmon]

Last night I told my wife to "Get the Hell Out!" of the room so that I could go back to playing xbox. Her jaw hit the floor and I threw the controller on the ground and rushed to apologize. I won't go further into the details, but I did NOT just go off on her for simply coming into the room while I was playing xbox. There was some basis for my comment, but not very much.

How long have you been (will you be) married?

[TripletDaddy]

Last night I told my wife to "Get the Hell Out!" of the room so that I could go back to playing xbox. Her jaw hit the floor and I threw the controller on the ground and rushed to apologize. I won't go further into the details, but I did NOT just go off on her for simply coming into the room while I was playing xbox. There was some basis for my comment, but not very much.

lol...Are you crazy?

you can easily damage the controller by throwing it!

[falafel]

How long have you been (will you be) married?

Okay, so I will give more context. She came down to tell me to turn the volume down (I normally wear headphones, but they broke). I said "Okay," and turned it down to about half as much as it had been. She said "the kids can hear it!" I said, "Okay! I'll turn it down more." She just stood there. I knew she wasn't going to move until I turned it down to about 5 on the volumeter (I made that up), b/c she has super sonic hearing and I have the opposite.

Meanwhile, I'm in the middle of a multiplayer game, which you can't pause, getting killed as soon as I respawn. I said "I'll turn it down!" She didn't move. Finally, I uttered the stupid line "Okay, get the hell outta here!" and I immediately regretted it.

To my credit, in the past I would have just gone back to playing and only to later realize that I had caused a week-long issue. So I quickly got up, despite my now massive death streak, and profusely apologized, not once mentioning her (IMO) outrageous demand that I turn the volume down to sub-human hearing levels. She let me off the hook quickly, thank goodness.

And we're still married.

[falafel]

lol...Are you crazy?

you can easily damage the controller by throwing it!

I keep a bean-bag chair around just for this purpose.

[Pheidippides]

Once during a (*ahem*) spirited debate with my spouse, I purposefully referred to my wife using her mother's first name to illustrate a point (something like... "Listen Bertha, if you....").

She countered with:



I had never heard her drop an f-bomb, and I have not heard her utter one since. If you know my wife well, you'd be floored if you heard her utter such a thing. And, yes, I was floored.

(Lebowski... never bring this up with her directly. She will deny it and will kill me later.)

cheers.

Lol, I have to share after reading this.

My wife is as naive as they come on many things, and it is a testament to her intellect that she has been able to make the transition from prototypical "Molly Mormon" to what she is now.

So we're newly married, and I've never, ever, ever even heard her criticize somebody in private in less than glowing terms. We're sitting at the table one night and she's feeling a bit randy, and she playfull flips me the bird (which for her at the time was shocking enough). I honestly was not sure if she knew what it meant so I asked her. She cheerfully smiled and said, "F$*% You!" in her most bubbly voice.

I fell back from the table in shock.

Things are far different now some 10 years on (living in NY will do that) and she'll use a variety of mild cuss words when she really wants to convey her emotions. But it is completely unfair that the same dirty word carries much more value for her in a fight than it does for me, mostly because I have a tendency to go with the nuclear option from the start when we battle, and thus the words have lost all their effect when I use them.

[Surfah]

I have said some stupid ish. The worst I dare not ever repeat and something I still regret to this day.

FN Phat has witnessed a few of these gems though. I'm positive that our wives hate that we're best friends.

I don't know that I could share any of them without returning to the doghouse, so I'll let Gidget post here if she so feels inclined.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Once during a (*ahem*) spirited debate with my spouse, I purposefully referred to my wife using her mother's first name to illustrate a point (something like... "Listen Bertha, if you....").

She countered with:



I had never heard her drop an f-bomb, and I have not heard her utter one since. If you know my wife well, you'd be floored if you heard her utter such a thing. And, yes, I was floored.

(Lebowski... never bring this up with her directly. She will deny it and will kill me later.)

cheers.

That's funny.

Don't worry. Unlike some here (cough... mtnbiker ...cough) I don't rat people out to their spouses.

[smokymountainrain]

Once during a (*ahem*) spirited debate with my spouse, I purposefully referred to my wife using her mother's first name to illustrate a point (something like... "Listen Bertha, if you....").

She countered with:



I had never heard her drop an f-bomb, and I have not heard her utter one since. If you know my wife well, you'd be floored if you heard her utter such a thing. And, yes, I was floored.

(Lebowski... never bring this up with her directly. She will deny it and will kill me later.)

cheers.

Any comparison of my wife to her mom and I'm a dead man and not getting any for a long, long, time. If I were ever so stupid as to actually call her by her mother's name, I think the marriage would be over right then and there.

But yeah, I'd say most of the "things I shouldn't have said" to my wife have to do with that comparison.

[Jarid in Cedar]

Any comparison of my wife to her mom and I'm a dead man and not getting any for a long, long, time. If I were ever so stupid as to actually call her by her mother's name, I think the marriage would be over right then and there.

But yeah, I'd say most of the "things I shouldn't have said" to my wife have to do with that comparison.

I have the same issue. I have indirectly compared my wife to my MIL twice. The couch was really uncomfortable for those 2 months.

[Art Vandelay]

My wife has shared a couple of mine in a RS before, earning me many evil eyes from the sisters of the ward.

"I have aldready told you look good in all your outfits, do I really need to say it everytime you re-wear one?"

"I didn't know it was possible for the human stomach to get that big", said to a 7 month pregnant wife. Followed by 2 months later "Oh my gosh you did the impossible, your even bigger than last week"

[falafel]

"I didn't know it was possible for the human stomach to get that big", said to a 7 month pregnant wife. Followed by 2 months later "Oh my gosh you did the impossible, your even bigger than last week"

:slap:

[Art Vandelay]

:slap:

The one that still makes us laugh 13 years later. From the first time father to the newest member of the Le Leche League: "HOLY COW, your boob is as big as the baby's head"