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The things I shouldn't have said to my spouse thread.

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  • #1

    The things I shouldn't have said to my spouse thread.

    I'll start with a line I dropped on Sunday:

    Wife: You need to get the kids ready for school tomorrow because I'm leaving at 6 to go grocery shopping in Cody.

    Me: If coupon shopping just makes my life more difficult, then I don't think it's worth it.

    Oops.
    sigpic
    "Outlined against a blue, gray
    October sky the Four Horsemen rode again"
    Grantland Rice, 1924
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  • #2
    Me: Gordon Ramsay is hot. He's on my Hollywood "to do" list.

    UD: Really? That's gross. (As his face becomes disheartened)

    Me in my head: "Oh... So it's okay for you to say you have a man-crush on him, but I can't do him..."

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    • #3
      Originally posted by SuperGabers View Post
      Me: Gordon Ramsay is hot. He's on my Hollywood "to do" list.

      UD: Really? That's gross. (As his face becomes disheartened)

      Me in my head: "Oh... So it's okay for you to say you have a man-crush on him, but I can't do him..."
      Ha!

      I have the bad habit of laughing when people are angry. Let's just say I did this once with my wife.

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      • #4
        I told my wife my back hurt a couple of days ago. My wife is 7 1/2 months pregnant.
        "In conclusion, let me give a shout-out to dirty sex. What a great thing it is" - Northwestcoug
        "And you people wonder why you've had extermination orders issued against you." - landpoke
        "Can't . . . let . . . foolish statements . . . by . . . BYU fans . . . go . . . unanswered . . . ." - LA Ute

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        • #5
          Originally posted by SuperGabers View Post
          Me: Gordon Ramsay is hot. He's on my Hollywood "to do" list.

          UD: Really? That's gross. (As his face becomes disheartened)

          Me in my head: "Oh... So it's okay for you to say you have a man-crush on him, but I can't do him..."
          Relax, sister. It is what it is.
          Fitter. Happier. More Productive.
          sigpic

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          • #6
            "Are you crying?"
            I'm your huckleberry.


            "I love pulling the bone. Really though, what guy doesn't?" - CJF

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            • #7
              Originally posted by SuperGabers View Post
              Me: Gordon Ramsay is hot. He's on my Hollywood "to do" list.

              UD: Really? That's gross. (As his face becomes disheartened)

              Me in my head: "Oh... So it's okay for you to say you have a man-crush on him, but I can't do him..."
              This post is CUFie material.
              Get confident, stupid
              -landpoke

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              • #8
                "Look, it's your choice, but bigger is always better."
                Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by cowboy View Post
                  I'll start with a line I dropped on Sunday:

                  Wife: You need to get the kids ready for school tomorrow because I'm leaving at 6 to go grocery shopping in Cody.

                  Me: If coupon shopping just makes my life more difficult, then I don't think it's worth it.

                  Oops.
                  Then don't say this one:

                  "If you accounted for the time you waste clipping, organizing, and following the coupons and the time you waste driving to 4 stores in town, do you think we are saving money?"
                  "The first thing I learned upon becoming a head coach after fifteen years as an assistant was the enormous difference between making a suggestion and making a decision."

                  "They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression."

                  "I like to bike. I could beat Lance Armstrong, only because he couldn't pass me if he was behind me."

                  -Rick Majerus

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                  • #10
                    Laughing both times people have asked my wife if she is her sister's mother.

                    That'll get you in deep shit. In my defense, my sister-in-law looks very very young for her age.
                    "Wuap's "problem" is that he is smart & principled & committed to a moral course of action. His actions are supposed to reflect his ethical code.
                    The rest of us rarely bother to think about our actions." --Solon

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                    • #11
                      I once fell for a variant of the old "do these jeans make me look fat" gambit. In my defense she said she wanted my honest opinion not once, not twice but thrice.

                      Now she could look like a spandex clad Paul Prudhomme after a six week bender and she'll get nothing but "you look great."
                      There's no such thing as luck, only drunken invincibility. Make it happen.

                      Tila Tequila and Juggalos, America’s saddest punchline since the South.

                      Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
                      Today is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
                      …
                      Tomorrow is Saturday
                      And Sunday comes afterwards

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                      • #12
                        "I don't have enough money to buy footwear that allows me to successfully walk on eggshells."
                        Everything in life is an approximation.

                        http://twitter.com/CougarStats

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                        • #13
                          "Will you marry me?"






                          I'm kidding...no really I am
                          "Discipleship is not a spectator sport. We cannot expect to experience the blessing of faith by standing inactive on the sidelines any more than we can experience the benefits of health by sitting on a sofa watching sporting events on television and giving advice to the athletes. And yet for some, “spectator discipleship” is a preferred if not primary way of worshipping." -Pres. Uchtdorf

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                          • #14
                            Here is my biggest regret:

                            "Ok, I iwll go see The Notebook with you"

                            This actually made her happy but those are 27 hours2 hours, I wish I had back.
                            PLesa excuse the tpyos.

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                            • #15
                              When I placed my palm to my wife's forehead like an evangelical preacher and yelled, "out! out demon!"

                              Did not go over well.

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