Hi. It's Bastage.

[New Mexican Disaster]

Welcome you farging icehole.

Do you pronounce your name bas-tuhj or bas-teej (like many a native Utahn would)?

[pellegrino]

You bastage, please answer the following question, but choose wisely, as our future dealings may depend, in large part, on your answer to the following question:

Manuals for Lotus 123, Fortran, PICK Operating System, Idiot's Guide to Microsoft Bob, these are the things that thrift stores like the Deseret Industries and Goodwill do not want to receive as donations. They are irrelevant because the programs are outdated, and the vast majority of manuals are now located online. The word manual goes back through the Norman conquest (sorry about your eye, Harold) all the way to its root in the Latin "manus" meaning hand. The hands are one of the most important vectors for oral-fecal transmission of diseases, especially stomach flus, and regular old influenza. In the last year, the media has done their fare share of fearmongering about a new strain of influenza, the H1N1 virus, or "swine" flu. Many people's end-of-school vacations to the Mexican Riviera were nixed because of the fear of the unknown and the overly-abundant precautions taken to 'protect' us against things. Stocks of germ-X went way down (while Vi-Jon stock soared) as people bought up mass quantities of hand sanitizer, thinking that this was a way to prevent the 'gripe porcina,' by cleaning their manus. Poor pigs, not only did they get branded with this ill moniker, but the ones who were suspected of being infected were rejected from being disected and put onto a dinner plate. What a waste! Pork bellies, much like the FCOJ traded in Trading Places (looking good, Billy Ray!), give us bacon, and bacon, as we all know, is one of the five main food groups. Given it's import to American and Mormon cuisine, which brand of bacon do you prefer, and why?

Alright Bastage, what's up? I've read many a wuap-question and this is as fine as they get. Don't leave Brother Banana hangin' man. Answer the question!

Seriously, I read this question and laughed till my stomach hurt and my eyes full of tears. My wife kept asking me what was so funny and for the life of me I couldn't explain it. If you don't already I hope one day (after you've answered it) you will understand why this is such a great question.

[LA Ute]

Welcome, Bastage. We need more Red Sox fans here.

[wuapinmon]

You bastage, please answer the following question, but choose wisely, as our future dealings may depend, in large part, on your answer to the following question:

Manuals for Lotus 123, Fortran, PICK Operating System, Idiot's Guide to Microsoft Bob, these are the things that thrift stores like the Deseret Industries and Goodwill do not want to receive as donations. They are irrelevant because the programs are outdated, and the vast majority of manuals are now located online. The word manual goes back through the Norman conquest (sorry about your eye, Harold) all the way to its root in the Latin "manus" meaning hand. The hands are one of the most important vectors for oral-fecal transmission of diseases, especially stomach flus, and regular old influenza. In the last year, the media has done their fare share of fearmongering about a new strain of influenza, the H1N1 virus, or "swine" flu. Many people's end-of-school vacations to the Mexican Riviera were nixed because of the fear of the unknown and the overly-abundant precautions taken to 'protect' us against things. Stocks of germ-X went way down (while Vi-Jon stock soared) as people bought up mass quantities of hand sanitizer, thinking that this was a way to prevent the 'gripe porcina,' by cleaning their manus. Poor pigs, not only did they get branded with this ill moniker, but the ones who were suspected of being infected were rejected from being disected and put onto a dinner plate. What a waste! Pork bellies, much like the FCOJ traded in Trading Places (looking good, Billy Ray!), give us bacon, and bacon, as we all know, is one of the five main food groups. Given it's import to American and Mormon cuisine, which brand of bacon do you prefer, and why?

This question will expire at 12pm EST on 3-11-10.

[Bastage]

You bastage, please answer the following question, but choose wisely, as our future dealings may depend, in large part, on your answer to the following question:

Manuals for Lotus 123, Fortran, PICK Operating System, Idiot's Guide to Microsoft Bob, these are the things that thrift stores like the Deseret Industries and Goodwill do not want to receive as donations. They are irrelevant because the programs are outdated, and the vast majority of manuals are now located online. The word manual goes back through the Norman conquest (sorry about your eye, Harold) all the way to its root in the Latin "manus" meaning hand. The hands are one of the most important vectors for oral-fecal transmission of diseases, especially stomach flus, and regular old influenza. In the last year, the media has done their fare share of fearmongering about a new strain of influenza, the H1N1 virus, or "swine" flu. Many people's end-of-school vacations to the Mexican Riviera were nixed because of the fear of the unknown and the overly-abundant precautions taken to 'protect' us against things. Stocks of germ-X went way down (while Vi-Jon stock soared) as people bought up mass quantities of hand sanitizer, thinking that this was a way to prevent the 'gripe porcina,' by cleaning their manus. Poor pigs, not only did they get branded with this ill moniker, but the ones who were suspected of being infected were rejected from being disected and put onto a dinner plate. What a waste! Pork bellies, much like the FCOJ traded in Trading Places (looking good, Billy Ray!), give us bacon, and bacon, as we all know, is one of the five main food groups. Given it's import to American and Mormon cuisine, which brand of bacon do you prefer, and why?

Sorry for the delay. I was stuck in traffic thinking about how everything goes back to the one magic animal that produces pork, bacon, and ham. Steve Winwood didn’t stay long in Traffic. James Taylor, who sang backing vocals in Winwood’s Back in the High Life, wrote Traffic Jam after being stuck on the Pacific Coast Highway in Los Angeles. Something in the Way She Moves was originally called I Feel Fine. JT’s line “holy host of others standing around me” in Carolina in My Mind certainly refers to The Beatles, who penned Piggies. JT follows with “still I’m on the dark side of the moon” as the next line, but that was not a reference to Pink Floyd’s said album, nor their tracks Pigs on the Wing 1, Pigs (Three Different Ones), and Pigs on the Wing 2 on Animals. James Taylor returned the favor to the Fab Four by performing In My Life during the death montage at the Academy Awards. Farrah Fawcett certainly has a beef with her snub from the Oscar montage. Sigourney Weaver doesn’t have a problem with the Academy since her son in Ghostbusters II has the same name as the award, and the frankfurter. Outside of Garfield, Bill Murray’s most questionable role has to be Larger Than Life. He didn’t understand the Only One Movie About Elephants Can Be Made Every Five Years rule since Operation Dumbo Drop was made in the previous year. Ray Liotta should be embarrassed. What a fall from seeing Ray Kinsella’s daughter choke on a hot dog. Burt Lancaster never co-starred with Paul Reiser. Too bad Burt never had a line like Reiser's in Beverly Hills Cop. “This is not my office!” Paul, formerly, Saul, pleaded with the Romans, “There is no respect of persons with God.” Amen, Paul. So it is with bacon. There is no respect of bacon with Bastage. I welcome all brands of bacon to my plate. Here's a free piece of advice: fake bacon is better than real vegetables.

And I pronounce it bast-uhj.

[LA Ute]

Sorry for the delay. I was stuck in traffic thinking about how everything goes back to the one magic animal that produces pork, bacon, and ham. Steve Winwood didn’t stay long in Traffic. James Taylor, who sang backing vocals in Winwood’s Back in the High Life, wrote Traffic Jam after being stuck on the Pacific Coast Highway in Los Angeles. Something in the Way She Moves was originally called I Feel Fine. JT’s line “holy host of others standing around me” in Carolina in My Mind certainly refers to The Beatles, who penned Piggies. JT follows with “still I’m on the dark side of the moon” as the next line, but that was not a reference to Pink Floyd’s said album, nor their tracks Pigs on the Wing 1, Pigs (Three Different Ones), and Pigs on the Wing 2 on Animals. James Taylor returned the favor to the Fab Four by performing In My Life during the death montage at the Academy Awards. Farrah Fawcett certainly has a beef with her snub from the Oscar montage. Sigourney Weaver doesn’t have a problem with the Academy since her son in Ghostbusters II has the same name as the award, and the frankfurter. Outside of Garfield, Bill Murray’s most questionable role has to be Larger Than Life. He didn’t understand the Only One Movie About Elephants Can Be Made Every Five Years rule since Operation Dumbo Drop was made in the previous year. Ray Liotta should be embarrassed. What a fall from seeing Ray Kinsella’s daughter choke on a hot dog. Burt Lancaster never co-starred with Paul Reiser. Too bad Burt never had a line like Reiser's in Beverly Hills Cop. “This is not my office!” Paul, formerly, Saul, pleaded with the Romans, “There is no respect of persons with God.” Amen, Paul. So it is with bacon. There is no respect of bacon with Bastage. I welcome all brands of bacon to my plate. Here's a free piece of advice: fake bacon is better than real vegetables.

And I pronounce it bast-uhj.

wuap, this man is a student of James Taylor. For that reason alone he deserves honor and respect.

[wuapinmon]

I welcome all brands of bacon to my plate. Here's a free piece of advice: fake bacon is better than real vegetables.

And I pronounce it bast-uhj.

Listen, kid, I shall try to be great friends with you, but you've got a lot of studying to do before you attempt another stunt like that. Please leave the wuap-style questions to the professionals. I know that it sounds so simple that you've just got to go and give it a shot, but you've never been there, so you don't really know. Right now, I'm going to lose my load and leave my mind behind by playing some MW2, maybe on the Mexico map.

wuap, this man is a student of James Taylor. For that reason alone he deserves honor and respect.

Well, it was such a muddled mess that I'll take your word for it.

[LA Ute]

Well, it was such a muddled mess that I'll take your word for it.

The guy deserves style points. And remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

[TheBYUGuy]

Listen, kid, I shall try to be great friends with you, but you've got a lot of studying to do before you attempt another stunt like that. Please leave the wuap-style questions to the professionals. I know that it sounds so simple that you've just got to go and give it a shot, but you've never been there, so you don't really know. Right now, I'm going to lose my load and leave my mind behind by playing some MW2, maybe on the Mexico map.



Well, it was such a muddled mess that I'll take your word for it.

Times are hard. He got a long letter and should have just sent back a postcard.

[The_Tick]

What is your problem, do you always recommend such filth? It was insinuated that Jacob or Edward or whoever the inactive brother was raped that saloon waitress before she converted. I don't recall if that was before or after he whipped his brother (have I ever mentioned I had ACL surgery 11 years ago and was not able to move for 2 weeks and read every stupid book we had on our shelves )

That was Joshua. And it was in a drunken rage because Jessie wouldn't help him cheat in poker anymore.

Bad day.