RobinFinderson

[woot]

Glad to have you back, Robin.

[pellegrino]

Please do! Your oily tomato sauce, which was no help for my complexion and may have contributed to the rumors of my facial tattoos, was my primary link to CUF during my brief sabbatical. Faith still makes that sauce once a week, which is why I call it 'Pellegrino's Week Sauce.'

There was an error in the recipe. Fiyero or Falafel or one of our F moniker posters asked me about it and we realized that the amount of tomatoes I put in the original recipe was wrong. I've fixed it, check it out. Either way, you've given it a great name. When I publish my recipe book, I'll be sure to credit you.

[RobinFinderson]

There was an error in the recipe. Fiyero or Falafel or one of our F moniker posters asked me about it and we realized that the amount of tomatoes I put in the original recipe was wrong. I've fixed it, check it out. Either way, you've given it a great name. When I publish my recipe book, I'll be sure to credit you.

Link? I started to dig into the food section, but must have missed the Trattoria Pellegrino. As it stands, Faith makes this dish faithfully, once a week, and I faithfully drain the olive oil from my dish between heaping servings.

[pellegrino]

Link? I started to dig into the food section, but must have missed the Trattoria Pellegrino. As it stands, Faith makes this dish faithfully, once a week, and I faithfully drain the olive oil from my dish between heaping servings.

I mistyped an 8 oz can when it's really a 14.5 oz can of tomatoes. If you still think it's too oily then feel free to use less oil.
http://www.cougaruteforum.com/showthread.php?t=7418

[RobinFinderson]

I mistyped an 8 oz can when it's really a 14.5 oz can of tomatoes. If you still think it's too oily then feel free to use less oil.
http://www.cougaruteforum.com/showthread.php?t=7418

LOL! We had been using a 28oz can of tomatoes, so maybe Faith was upping the olive oil quantity proportionally. It is a little oily, but I love olive oil, so what is not to like?

[pellegrino]

LOL! We had been using a 28oz can of tomatoes, so maybe Faith was upping the olive oil quantity proportionally. It is a little oily, but I love olive oil, so what is not to like?

28 oz can? you can feed an army with that much sauce. I wouldn't use more than 6-8 oz of oil for that size can. Tell Faith to try it as it is now. I think you'll like it even more.

[RobinFinderson]

Hello everyone!

I've come to understand that I was at the center of a lot of drama this week, and I wanted to clear the air a little bit, and offer my perspective on what happened.

First of all, for the benefit of anyone that might not know what I am talking about, CUF has a private forum called the Speak Easy, where old-timer community members discuss things that they don't want to share in public. Entry into the SE requires several months of board participation followed by a nomination followed by winning a super-majority vote of the other members of the SE. The final requirement for SE admission is that the winning candidate agree to abide by the rules of the SE. I'm not sure what all of that entails, but the main rule is that anything shared in the SE is shared in confidentiality, and should not be discussed outside the SE.

This week I was nominated for entry, and I lost the vote for the 7th time, which is a number that I didn't know except that one of my detractors giddily posted that fact on FaceBook, and a mutual friend passed that tidbit along. Again, for the benefit of people who don't know about the SE, 7 losses for entry is an unprecedented number. I believe that everyone that was accepted into the SE was either admitted on the first or second vote, which is typical.

The unprecedented number is the result of a strange relationship that I have had with this board, and with the parent boards of CUF, which are CougarGuard and CougarBoard, over the course of nearly seven years now (I made my first CB post in 2003). I joined CougarBoard at the invitation of MikeWaters, who was my best friend at the time. Most of the damage to my reputation, which has resulted in a good amount of suspicion about my purpose in life, is related in one way or another to the sad collapse of my friendship with Mike.

I would like to address some of the specific concerns that some of you have about me. I became aware of these concerns when some members of the SE asked me about them, seeking my side of the story rather than depending on the (often) exaggerated accounts being volleyed back and forth between my friends and detractors in the SE. I would like to thank those of you who took the time to ask me for my perspective, and I would like to share it with everyone now that the vote has ended.

Hey Robin, do you even want to be a member of the SE?
Yes, I do! I have almost always wanted to participate in the SE and Crypt (the progenitor of the SE on CougarGuard). I haven't always dealt with the rejection very well, which has led me to be a vocal opponent of the entry process for the SE, which I think has a tendency to produce a kind of gossip which can be damaging to a community, but I can really appreciate the value of a forum that doesn't get Google indexed. There have been a good number of times over the years when I really wish that I had been able to work through some personal trials with my friends in the SE. Each time I would lose entry, it would really hurt my feelings. I would hear about some terrible bit of gossip that was shared about me, and it would depress me that CUF was providing an official platform for people to spread terrible rumors about me. Eventually I decided to rescind my interest in participation, because it was all too painful. Then I changed my mind, one last time. I decided that I did not want to give my detractors the last word, especially when my desire to participate had never really diminished. So yes folks, I do want to participate.

Hey Robin, given your history with The Crypt on CougarGuard, can you be trusted to honor the confidentiality of the SE?
The Crypt, like the SE, had a confidentiality pact for its members. For some time, I had been trying to 'fit in' on CougarGuard. By this point my friendship with MikeWaters had come completely undone, and I suspected that Mike was undermining my efforts to participate from behind the Crypt's vault door. One day, while switching VB setups, Mike left the Crypt door open, and I took a look around. I wasn't interested in the entire contents of The Crypt. I simply wanted to know if Mike was using The Crypt as a forum to damage my reputation, so I performed a quick search for the words "Robin" and "Finderson." Many posts came up. I was worried that I wouldn't get the chance to read them, so I clicked on them, one at a time, and copied (CTRL+C) and pasted (CTRL+P) them into a Word document, so I could read them later. I really wish I hadn't done that, because what I learned about Mike only took the sad situation of our deteriorating friendship and made it much much worse. The things he was saying in secret were some of the most hurtful things I have ever had directed against me, and it put me into a serious funk.

The Word file lived on a HD on an old PC. The HD was corrupted a few years ago. I brought it into a data recovery center, but couldn't afford the $1500 it would take for the chance to recover some of the data. I lost thousands of photos, and have since become an assiduous backer upper, but the real point here is that I am no longer in possession of that information. If I were to ever come across a duplicate of that file, I would delete it without any further review. It is sad, sad data that I would just as soon forget.

I think the main point I would like to make here is that the circumstances behind what happened on CG are very different than the circumstances we have here on CUF. I hadn't made any promise to avoid The Crypt, the way I would promise if I were to be admitted to the SE. The curiosity that led me to walk through the Crypt door is more reflective of my relationship with Waters than it is of my integrity. If I give the CUF community my word that I will honor the confidentiality of what happens in the SE, I will honor that word.

Hey Robin, you are sort of creepy, and I'm not sure that I want to open up around you.
It is hard to see one's own creepiness, but when I try to imagine being in someone else's shoes, a few things come to mind.

1. My relationship with MikeWaters.
I love MikeWaters. I invited him to be part of my family, to be a sort of LDS Godfather to my son, and Mike accepted. He was also my best friend from college, and an official temple witness at my wedding. MikeWaters was the last great friendship from my youth. Maybe some of you all know what I am talking about, but it seems like there is a difference between the kinds of friendships we make as adults, vs the friendships we forged as children and in our youth. Mike was the last of that kind of friend, and I hoped that we would enjoy that friendship for the rest of our lives.

Anyone who knows Mike also knows that he can have a sharp tongue. I, too, can have a sharp tongue. We often had differences, and we didn't always work them out in the kindest way, but we did always work things out. Shortly before Mike started CG, I confessed to him that I had lost my testimony of the LDS church. From that point forward, it seemed as if we were never able to resolve our differences. Rather than fighting it out, and wiping the slate clean, each petty argument seemed to build on the one before it. This is where we were when Mike started CG, which unfortunately became a window onto the final stages of our friendship. It was ugly, and painful, and I acted very badly. I count the things I said that sealed the fate of our relationship among the greatest regrets of my life.

What may look legitimately creepy about all of this, so many years after the fact, is that I still hope to make things right between us. Maybe once or twice a year, I drop Mike a two-line note, simply to let him know that the door is open. To some, that sounds creepy and stalker-like. I recognize the creepy potential, and try to keep things very brief, usually only a sentence or two. I still check out CG from time to time, because I like the sound of his 'voice.' I really care about him and I miss him, and I occasionally try to let him know that the door is open. That is the extent of the creepiness. There is no other similar creepy relationship in my life, and I think I'm passed the point in life of forging those kinds of friendships. In short, whatever creepiness there is, I wouldn't spill out in any equivalent kind of creepiness in the SE.

2. My interest in porn.
Though I am probably not the only CUF person who uses porn, I am probably the only person who doesn't feign public shame about it. My feelings are primarily rooted in personal experiences, where the porn in my youth contributed to depression and a sense of being unlovable in God's eyes, and the porn in my adult life helped bridge several 'dry' years of my marriage, when Faith was working through some trauma-related stress. I finally decided that porn was no threat to our relationship, and on the contrary, it helped me to provide Faith the space she needed at the time. Porn can be useful. Porn needn't ruin relationships. If it isn't a secret, porn needn't be shameful. I realize that some people might think that is creepy, but it is the libertarian position that my experience has led me to accept after spending many years on both sides of the fence on this issue.

3. Rumors of serious evil.
I have agreed not to mention any details here, but there continue to be some serious rumors of personal evil conduct. These rumors are complete lies. Being confronted by these rumors has been one of the most surreal experiences of my life. Please don't believe them. If you have questions, I would be happy to address them privately.

Hey Robin, you say you are a penitent person, but I just find that hard to believe after everything that happened on CG.
As I noted before, my performance on CG continues to rank among my greatest regrets in life. I had come 'out of the closet' as an apostate, and I felt that my world was crumbling around me as a result. I lost the kindness of friends and family, an that, more than anything else, made me feel bitter toward the church. I handled things badly, and burned bridges that might have been spared. The reservations felt by anyone who witnessed that are understandable.

I hope to someday be judged by what I have contributed here on CUF, rather than by how I poorly managed to navigate one of the most depressing and difficult times in my life. What it really comes down to is that I am a person who likes to debate politics and ethics, I like to talk about movies and video games and board games, I like to take photographs and make things, I like to run long distances, and I like to waste an inordinate amount of time on the internet. In other words, I am just like anyone else on CUF, but with my own unique bag of interests. An examination of my contributions to this board will show that I am generally polite and respectful, and that in the areas that reflect my interests, I have made great efforts to keep the board lively, fun and interesting.

Well you aren't always respectful. Look at your recent exchanges with IPU.
I would like to be friends with IPU. I really would, but I don't think he is interested, and I accept that. IPU is among a handful of people who witnessed my antics on CG, and for whom those antics might be his last impression. To IPU, and anyone else who suffered through those antics on CG, I offer my apologies. I'm ashamed of that behavior, and I've tried to make amends here on CUF.

More to the point, in spite of IPU's and my recent kerfuffle, I commit to leaving him alone, both in private and public, just as he asked. I also commit to giving IPU his space in the SE, if the day ever comes when I can participate. I'm not on CUF to make enemies, and to the people who think they are my enemies, I offer an olive branch. If people want to stir things up with me, I'm always up for a fight, but only in the sense of sparring. If a fight feels like it has crossed a line and become serious, I'm going to back down. Again, I'm not here to hurt anyone's feelings.

Hey Robin, is it okay if I ask you a couple of questions?
Of course. I don't expect to resolve every concern people may have with this one HUGE post. The main thing I want to communicate here is that I am committed to this community, and I am committed to addressing the concerns that lead people to vote 'no' when it comes to my SE participation. If anyone has any questions, I would be very happy to answer them.

In six months or so, when the whole thing happens again, I hope to have more people's support. I participate on CUF because I love this place. It is fun. It has greatly enriched my life, as it has for many others on the board. I enjoy this place and I enjoy the people who call it home. I hope, someday, to be able to participate on the board in full, and I would ask those people with some reservations to please reconsider. There have been a number of times when I could have really used a place like the SE, to work through some tough situations. Likewise, I would like the chance to support my own CUF brothers and sisters in their own struggles and trials. If the day ever comes, when I get the chance to participate in the SE, everyone will wake up the next day and remember all of this drama like waking up from a strange dream. It will truly be a non-event.

Peace,

rf

[DU Ute]

Thanks for sharing this, it is good to hear your side of things.

[cougjunkie]

Hey Robin, I voted no just for the record. Nothing against you but I vote no for everyone. In fact I would vote no for my own mother. So please do not take it personal.

Besides that, the SE is ruined anyway since someone is obviously leaking information.

[RobinFinderson]

Hey Robin, I voted no just for the record. Nothing against you but I vote no for everyone. In fact I would vote no for my own mother. So please do not take it personal.

Besides that, the SE is ruined anyway since someone is obviously leaking information.

I hope I haven't give you the impression that someone is leaking information to me from the SE. The friends who have offered me their kind support have been extremely circumspect in their approach to talking about things. They have probably erred on the side of caution. The issues I'm addressing here are those that were asked of me in PM's. They are known issues that have been discussed outside the SE, and the people who asked them were simply taking their voting duties seriously, and did not share with me the SE context of the issues (who raised them, etc.). I want to make it very clear, that I know of no rats in the SE. The closest thing I've seen to a true leak was a PM I received saying, "You might want to be on your best behavior this week." By the time I received that, I already knew that something was going on. There were tons of people online, the SE was packed, and a good number of people were reading some old threads that related to your truly.

The SE doesn't have the problem you think it has. On a side note, I would appreciate your support the next time around. Being able to participate would mean a lot to me.

[Colly Wolly]

You are one crazy dude. Be well.

[woot]

It's nice to hear your side. I'm sure this post will be linked next time there's a vote (which I hope doesn't happen for a long time, frankly).

[New Mexican Disaster]

Let the guy in. He contributes as much or more than anyone on here and he has one of the most refreshing points of view on CUF. He truly is one of the gang.

As one banished from the Inner Sanctum of the other board I can sympathize with the feeling. I know that to many I have zero credibility because I blew my chance, but in reality he never has had a chance.

[Viking]

Robin, if invited to the SE (which I never will be), I would soundly reject it. The idea of having a secret internet club is about the geekiest thing I've heard of, and I'm a king amongst geeks as a devoted Rush fan. I like Star Trek, too.

But I'd say hell no to the SE. Losers.

[falafel]

Robin, if invited to the SE (which I never will be), I would soundly reject it. The idea of having a secret internet club is about the geekiest thing I've heard of, and I'm a king amongst geeks as a devoted Rush fan. I like Star Trek, too.

But I'd say hell no to the SE. Losers.

Ha! Yet you've made over 1700 posts on a board made up of those same losers.