I do not eat soap, although it is tempting at times.

[Coastal Ute]

It appears that my "significant omission" was my standing in the LDS church.

I was raised in the LDS church, and although I am not active in it, I still have a great deal of respect for those involved in it.

I think thats it.

[wuapinmon]

It appears that my "significant omission" was my standing in the LDS church.

Hmph!

[happyone]

Hmph!

CU, now you've done it

[Coastal Ute]

Hmph!

Oh great Wuapinmon, hallowed be thy name- am I deserving of thy glorious riddle? Do I dare address thee by thy full name?

[wuapinmon]

Oh great Wuapinmon, hallowed be thy name- am I deserving of thy glorious riddle? Do I dare address thee by thy full name?

I'm not Babs.

[Babs]

I'm not Babs.

you can say that again!

[wuapinmon]

you can say that again!

I'm not Babs. THANK MY LUCKY STARS!

[wuapinmon]

Coastal Ute, if you do not answer this question real respectful like, you and me ain't gonna be good friends, or even pals. I'll consider you one notch lower than Johnny Lingo's delete key.

Trojan Condoms...what a name. Like the Trojan Horse, they veil something dangerous that a woman can choose to let inside her "lessened gates." The University of Southern California calls themselves the Trojans (not after the condoms) and California itself gets its name from the mistaken belief that the Baja Peninsula was the fictional island of Califia, home of the Black Amazon women, called "a-mazos" because of the belief that they had their right breast removed (please don't cry Goatnapper) so that they could better fire their bows and arrows. Arrows are made by a fletcher, and Dr. Harvey Fletcher, father of stereophonic sound, helped bring the gigantic Y to Utah Valley. The "Y" symbol in ASL is made by closing the fist and extending the thumb and the pinky---remarkably similar to the "Shaka" symbol of Hawaii, home to Diamond Head, The Seven Sacred Pools, and the Dole pineapple plantation. So, the question is: do you prefer Dole, Del Monte, or Chiquita bananas? Explain your answer.

[Coastal Ute]

This question deserves some thought.

[Babs]

I'm not Babs.

uh huh. Star-crossed is more like it.

[wuapinmon]

uh huh. Star-crossed is more like it.

Whatever. I've had my share of misadventured piteous overthrows on CUF, but I'm wuapinmon.

[Coastal Ute]

O.k. Wuap. Here you go.

After several days grumbling over this post, I finally sat down and got to work on it. During my hiatus, I even made an attempt to buy one of each of the brands of banana that you asked me to rule on (Apparently my particular region only carried "Del Monte"). However, I do have a good enough memory to distinguish the taste and texture differences between Chiquita, Dole, and Del Monte bananas.

(Where does this strange fascination with bananas come from? Are the other boys in your neighborhood into this? Board mail me, I'd love to know.)

Lets start with
DOLE

I have never really been impressed with Dole bananas'. Something about them seems synthetic, wouldn't you agree? They're just too perfect. And most often times they are far too firm or too ripe for any kind of reasonable enjoyment.

Also, Dole's mascot is retarded, so I rest my case.




CHIQUITA

Using some more of my flawless logic, Chiquita comes in at a close second. The creator of Hagar the Horrible, Dik Browne, created the Chiquita logo, which is pictured below (this gives it some extra points- my rules, I make 'em up):






In 2007, Chiquita was involved in a class action lawsuit after some of its Costa Rican employees were exposed to poisonous pesticides on multiple occasions. Chiquita bananas' also suck. No need to explain, you should already know why Wuap. DISQUALIFIED.

And the winner is...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41zwp7S6daw"]YouTube- When Good Bananas Go Bad[/ame]

Del Monte. I went and bought a Del Monte the other day, and was pleasantly surprised by the aesthetic quality as well as the overall taste and size.



Anyone who has the cajones to put the word "quality" under its name gets my vote.

[wuapinmon]

O.k. Wuap. Here you go.

After several days grumbling over this post, I finally sat down and got to work on it. During my hiatus, I even made an attempt to buy one of each of the brands of banana that you asked me to rule on (Apparently my particular region only carried "Del Monte"). However, I do have a good enough memory to distinguish the taste and texture differences between Chiquita, Dole, and Del Monte bananas.

(Where does this strange fascination with bananas come from? Are the other boys in your neighborhood into this? Board mail me, I'd love to know.)

Lets start with
DOLE

I have never really been impressed with Dole bananas'. Something about them seems synthetic, wouldn't you agree? They're just too perfect. And most often times they are far too firm or too ripe for any kind of reasonable enjoyment.

Also, Dole's mascot is retarded, so I rest my case.




CHIQUITA

Using some more of my flawless logic, Chiquita comes in at a close second. The creator of Hagar the Horrible, Dik Browne, created the Chiquita logo, which is pictured below (this gives it some extra points- my rules, I make 'em up):






In 2007, Chiquita was involved in a class action lawsuit after some of its Costa Rican employees were exposed to poisonous pesticides on multiple occasions. Chiquita bananas' also suck. No need to explain, you should already know why Wuap. DISQUALIFIED.

And the winner is...

YouTube- When Good Bananas Go Bad

Del Monte. I went and bought a Del Monte the other day, and was pleasantly surprised by the aesthetic quality as well as the overall taste and size.



Anyone who has the cajones to put the word "quality" under its name gets my vote.

In spite of the fact that all commercial bananas are genetic twins of each other (the Cavendish variety) and therefore are essentially the same product (with slight variations in taste due to groundwater and ripening gas timing), you did put in some considerable effort, far more than most of the new people who've received a question and then promptly shat on it. More than any other time since their inception, and ignoring the many technical flaws in your post and your uncouth and incorrect use of the word "retarded", I can say, unequivocally, that we shall be great friends. Unless you wind up being a dweeb.

Oh, the correct answer is: Bananza

[Coastal Ute]

You really think it's uncouth? You strike me as someone who would use it all the time Wuap. I apologize for the errors. If we meet (or should I say when), I would like you to backhand me with a leather glove. I believe that will redeem me of the many, many errors I have made in your presence. Totally joking. Please don't hit me.

[wuapinmon]

You really think it's uncouth? You strike me as someone who would use it all the time Wuap. I apologize for the errors. If we meet (or should I say when), I would like you to backhand me with a leather glove. I believe that will redeem me of the many, many errors I have made in your presence. Totally joking. Please don't hit me.

When speaking about dough and someone who is clinically retarded, yes. When used as a synonym for "gay," I do not. I also do not use "gay" anymore; I used it here to further ram home my point.