Article: Confessions of an Ex-Mormon

[Jeff Lebowski]

That was excellent. He is a gifted writer.

[MarkGrace]

That was excellent. He is a gifted writer.

Hence SU's clear jealousy toward him. See also: BYUJacob.

[HauteCoug]

Yeah, wouldn't it be great to spend three years of your youth in Mormonism, no pressure from parents to stay or go on a mission or get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday to go to priesthood, heavy petting and smoking pot with a wild young LDS girl with scent of menthol cigarrettes on her breath, never giving 10% of your hard earned graveyard shift income to the church, never feeling any debt to the first Mormon ancestor 7 generations back, never living in a rat infested barrio battling the dissentary still working dawn till dusk in your black and white uniform with the buzz cut and plastic badge and teaching some black people they were cursed and not EVERY good boy gets to be a deacon and sometimes guiltily haunted by the thought, jwtfaidh? then at 17 returning to your roots and leaving it all (not getting shunned) when college beckened. Then as a divorsee hanging out with Ben Olsen and other Mormon pretty people in Beverly Hills mooching free furniture and food, while they tolerated your fuck pad and your wine and beer and let you borrow their truck with no expecation of replacing the gas because George Cloony was playing in the movie made from your book.

This guy's an exmo light weight or worse. No wonder his memories are so nice. He'd also sell his soul for an angle; he's a phony. He's an immature male version of Joanna Brooks, with a shallower Mormon experience, a freelance writer profiteering on playing the nice philosophical contrarian exmo. I'm not impressed.

Oh I see.

This article was gorgeous, and is the reason why I love nonfiction so much. It takes guts to write about your own life experience, knowing that some anonymous twit on the internet is going to slam you for being a light-weight, and knowing that you will be judged for being a frank and honest human being. But in all of the pieces on Mormonism being written, this is easily my favorite because as a practicing Mormon, I can connect with a lot of what he says.

I've never gotten the whole "burning sensation" thing. I don't believe in the whole, "if you pray to find your keys, you will" thing. I'll never be completely comfortable with the way the spirit is described to young children in primary (and in many ways I don't know if I'll ever be fully comfortable with primary at all for my own future kids). There's a sensationalism that's promoted often, and I just feel grateful and extraordinarily lucky that I grew up in an area of the world that was filled with liberal and progressive mormons who taught with an intellectual honesty that made more sense to me. And I lived in a place where the church was my stable community experience - something I never had in the state of Utah.

Overall I really loved this piece.

[UtahDan]

Oh I see.

This article was gorgeous, and is the reason why I love nonfiction so much. It takes guts to write about your own life experience, knowing that some anonymous twit on the internet is going to slam you for being a light-weight, and knowing that you will be judged for being a frank and honest human being. But in all of the pieces on Mormonism being written, this is easily my favorite because as a practicing Mormon, I can connect with a lot of what he says.

I've never gotten the whole "burning sensation" thing. I don't believe in the whole, "if you pray to find your keys, you will" thing. I'll never be completely comfortable with the way the spirit is described to young children in primary (and in many ways I don't know if I'll ever be fully comfortable with primary at all for my own future kids). There's a sensationalism that's promoted often, and I just feel grateful and extraordinarily lucky that I grew up in an area of the world that was filled with liberal and progressive mormons who taught with an intellectual honesty that made more sense to me. And I lived in a place where the church was my stable community experience - something I never had in the state of Utah.

Overall I really loved this piece.

This is the source of my mixed emotions. It is really well written. It is also confirmatory of some really negative (IMO) stereotypes about exmos (I know its true, I'm just to weak to stand in the light). I think I have to take him at his word there, but it could also be the case that he is trying to ingratiate himself...though why? And if he thinks its so great, why not reconnect to it? I think he has had a very unique experience, but who knows. He is certainly a believers kind of exmo (the kind that flatters you).

[HauteCoug]

This is the source of my mixed emotions. It is really well written. It is also confirmatory of some really negative (IMO) stereotypes about exmos (I know its true, I'm just to weak to stand in the light). I think I have to take him at his word there, but it could also be the case that he is trying to ingratiate himself...though why? And if he thinks its so great, why not reconnect to it? I think he has had a very unique experience, but who knows. He is certainly a believers kind of exmo (the kind that flatters you).

I completely see what you're saying. I wonder if he just never really connected to the truly spiritual aspect, but instead is drawn to the familial-community aspect instead. I don't think he felt an intense conviction with regard to doctrine, but instead feels respect for it because it gave him an avenue with which he began to respect himself. And then later reminded him of the goodness people can have. It seems to me as though he associates the mormons with just plain old goodness. Sort of that virtuous living that's simple and sweet and a little idyllic.

He acknowledges the areas that I think most of us are uncomfortable with, such as the anti-gay initiatives, but it seems to me that his experience has been similar to mine in that the people are generally good and want other people to find happiness, however best that may be for them.

[Jeff Lebowski]

This is the source of my mixed emotions. It is really well written. It is also confirmatory of some really negative (IMO) stereotypes about exmos (I know its true, I'm just to weak to stand in the light). I think I have to take him at his word there, but it could also be the case that he is trying to ingratiate himself...though why? And if he thinks its so great, why not reconnect to it? I think he has had a very unique experience, but who knows. He is certainly a believers kind of exmo (the kind that flatters you).

Geez. Speaking of negative ex-mo stereotypes...

[jay santos]

This is the source of my mixed emotions. It is really well written. It is also confirmatory of some really negative (IMO) stereotypes about exmos (I know its true, I'm just to weak to stand in the light). I think I have to take him at his word there, but it could also be the case that he is trying to ingratiate himself...though why? And if he thinks its so great, why not reconnect to it? I think he has had a very unique experience, but who knows. He is certainly a believers kind of exmo (the kind that flatters you).

Wow. You need to come back and reread this post later and see how bad you sound in it.

What's wrong with an exmo that feels friendly towards the church?

[UtahDan]

Jay and Jeff please explain. I really have never met someone like this and I'm trying to figure it out. I thought I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think I invalidated his experience...I didn't mean to anyway. What did I say that bothered you?

EDIT: Rereading...those are all sincere things i wondered as I read it....not trying to slam the guy.

[UtahDan]

What's wrong with an exmo that feels friendly towards the church?

Nothing, by the way.

[jay santos]

This is the source of my mixed emotions. It is really well written. It is also confirmatory of some really negative (IMO) stereotypes about exmos (I know its true, I'm just to weak to stand in the light). I think I have to take him at his word there, but it could also be the case that he is trying to ingratiate himself...though why? And if he thinks its so great, why not reconnect to it? I think he has had a very unique experience, but who knows. He is certainly a believers kind of exmo (the kind that flatters you).

First, I don't agree that he was saying I know it's true, I'm too weak to stand in the light. I think he was saying I know it's good or it can be very fulfilling at times, but it's not for me.

Second, the bolded part is what just really sounds bad to me. You can't allow an exmo to think the church is good or even great?

[UtahDan]

First, I don't agree that he was saying I know it's true, I'm too weak to stand in the light. I think he was saying I know it's good or it can be very fulfilling at times, but it's not for me.

Second, the bolded part is what just really sounds bad to me. You can't allow an exmo to think the church is good or even great?

I was relying on the quote earlier in the thread that Dr. D posted. What was you take on that paragraph.

Jay I can definitely allow it, it's just like a guy who tells you he left his wife and then tells you she is wonderful and too good for him. Of course a person can feel that way, but you don't encounter it every day. And you wonder what else might be going on there. That doesn't strike anyone as a little out of the ordinary?

[jay santos]

I was relying on the quote earlier in the thread that Dr. D posted. What was you take on that paragraph.

Jay I can definitely allow it, it's just like a guy who tells you he left his wife and then tells you she is wonderful and too good for him. Of course a person can feel that way, but you don't encounter it every day. And you wonder what else might be going on there. That doesn't strike anyone as a little out of the ordinary?

I probably would think of a guy talking about his ex that way in a similar way as I interpreted that paragraph. That the guy is being sentimental and sweet, and that there's probably a lot he hates about that ex or the church, but he's being positive and I appreciate someone who can see things in all colors of gray and not just black and white.

[CardiacCoug]

Jay and Jeff please explain. I really have never met someone like this and I'm trying to figure it out.

You've never met an ex-mo who waxes nostalgic at times for his LDS experiences as a youth?

That's crazy. Every one of my inactive uncles likes to tell stories about church experiences as a kid, scouts, mission, etc.

Not everybody who leaves the Church is bitter about it.

[UtahDan]

I probably would think of a guy talking about his ex that way in a similar way as I interpreted that paragraph. That the guy is being sentimental and sweet, and that there's probably a lot he hates about that ex or the church, but he's being positive and I appreciate someone who can see things in all colors of gray and not just black and white.

Fair enough. I assume part of that is time and maybe as SU was saying it is the low exit cost he paid. I don't think many people feel that way on day one or even decade one. But I like the way you have framed it here....gives me something to think about.

[jay santos]

Fair enough. I assume part of that is time and maybe as SU was saying it is the low exit cost he paid. I don't think many people feel that way on day one or even decade one. But I like the way you have framed it here....gives me something to think about.

You don't need any more lectures on what the exmo community needs to do. But I'll give you one more freebie. This guy's article comes across pretty raw and real. Almost everyone can look back at a job or an ex-wife or a city they lived in, or whatever and find both good and bad.

The exmo community comes across so overwhelmingly negative and petty, it's enough to push borderlanders back into the church.

Church finances, youth camp outs, church meetings, doctrine on eternal families, wedding ceremonies, you name it, exmo's hate it ALL. We're going to have a 24th of July party this Saturday morning with Primary kids riding bikes and scooters in a parade around the neighborhood. It's one of the coolest things you'll see, and I can just imagine a crowd of exmo's ripping the shit out of this party for about a dozen reasons.