How do I tell my wife I've lost my testimony?

[Portland Ute]

I don't accept the LDS concept of a "testimony" if by that you mean knowing or believing things that are unknowable and/or unbelievable. That's not what you should be focusing on, in my opinion.

Either you want to keep participating in the Church or you don't. Either the positives of participation outweigh the negatives or they don't.

That's what you need to decide. Forget the "testimony" thing.

Right now, I think this is absolutely correct.

[Eleven34]

My wife and I agree that if, for some reason we quit going to church, we won't suddenly start having affairs, binge drinking, doing drugs, etc. Our internal morals still exist; religion doesn't 'force' these morals on us. We will still be the same two people.

For some reason this made me laugh. I can just imagine you two having the above conversation...

NWUF "Honey, if we quit going to church let's not start having affairs OK?"

Mrs. NWUF: "OK, dear. I promise I will not do any other dudes if we stop attending church."

[RC Vikings]

My wife and I agree that if, for some reason we quit going to church, we won't suddenly start having affairs, binge drinking, doing drugs, etc.

What other reasons would someone have for leaving?

[pellegrino]

What other reasons would someone have for leaving?

do you want a list?

[taekwondave]

Dude, nobody here knows what you should do, even though there are some GREAT ideas here. You do though. Just go meditate on it a while. Go grab some paper and a pencil and find some quiet place and write down your concerns. Then start writing the answers as they come to you. You'll piece it together. You'll figure it out.

[Eleven34]

What other reasons would someone have for leaving?

Good point. I'm considering going to church just to quit so that I can start rolling around with a couple of babes in each arm.

[UtahDan]

What other reasons would someone have for leaving?

I thought it was funny, looks like not everyone got the joke.

[pellegrino]

I thought it was funny, looks like not everyone got the joke.

don't make fun, man. It's been a rough 24 hours.

[NorthShoreCoug]

...

I just don't want to hurt her, and it gets weird when I think about my kid being baptized by someone else, and having them grow up with a dad that doesn't go to church. I dont want to let them down, but I dont want to live my life obligated to do something I don't really believe in. It's a hard place to be in, but I am erring on the side of protecting my wife and kids. In the grand scheme, it's a small price to pay for what they bring into my life.

I think you may want to have a discussion with your bishop, first, assuming he is a reasonable man. Not as someone going in to "repent", but as equals. Tell him where you stand, how you feel the church does and doesn't contribute to your family and you individually, and how you think you might fit in as you go forward. Tell him if and how you are willing to serve and contribute.

I've known a few people who have taken this approach, and it has seemed to work fairly well for them. And doing so might give you more wiggle room to deal with the three legged stool of yourself, your family, and the church.

[falafel]

Don't you think your wife got a hint of your situation when you told her you were going to go out binge drinking that one night? Not trying to be flippant here. She had to have known you weren't all in at that point.

[jay santos]

I think you may want to have a discussion with your bishop, first, assuming he is a reasonable man. Not as someone going in to "repent", but as equals. Tell him where you stand, how you feel the church does and doesn't contribute to your family and you individually, and how you think you might fit in as you go forward. Tell him if and how you are willing to serve and contribute.

I've known a few people who have taken this approach, and it has seemed to work fairly well for them. And doing so might give you more wiggle room to deal with the three legged stool of yourself, your family, and the church.

It always boggles my mind how grown adults feel like they need the bishop's permission in how to act.

[Colly Wolly]

Don't you think your wife got a hint of your situation when you told her you were going to go out binge drinking that one night? Not trying to be flippant here. She had to have known you weren't all in at that point.

Never told her I went and actually did it. She was out of town and it never came up.

[falafel]

Never told her I went and actually did it. She was out of town and it never came up.

But you two discussed you doing it, didn't you? I swear I remember that she was on board with your experiment beforehand.

[Colly Wolly]

But you two discussed you doing it, didn't you? I swear I remember that she was on board with your experiment beforehand.

Yes

[NorthwestUteFan]

Jameson Gold Reserve. One ice cube.

Is Irish whisky better than Kentucky bourbon? From reading I see it is aged in American oak barrels. I would like to find out.

I thought it was funny, looks like not everyone got the joke.

It was a semi-joke attempting to make a broader point.

Those of us who grew up in the church may look at our upbringing and conclude that our moral belief system is tied solely to the church. While this exposure may seem correct on the surface and the church definitely reflects and reinforces proper moral behavior, I believe it does not tell the entire story.

I choose to live my life as an honest person. My parents, the Boy Scouts, church, etc., have all reinforced this behavior. But lacking the influence of my parents, the BSA, the church, etc., the fact remains that I would still choose to be an honest person because that is what SOCIETY at large desires.

If I choose to never set foot in any church for the rest of my life, I will still be an honest man.