Funniest Scripture in the Book of Mormon

[Moliere]

This one is my favorite:

Mosiah 12:1

1 And it came to pass that after the space of two years that Abinadi came among them in disguise, that they knew him not, and began to prophesy among them, saying: Thus has the Lord commanded me, saying—Abinadi, go and prophesy unto this my people, for they have hardened their hearts against my words; they have repented not of their evil doings; therefore, I will visit them in my anger, yea, in my fierce anger will I visit them in their iniquities and abominations.

[SoCalCoug]

This is my favorite (Omni 1:9):



Way to go, Chemish. That was profound.

I quoted that in a talk a year or so ago. I forget the point I was trying to make.

[falafel]

This one is my favorite:

Mosiah 12:1

"Who's that preachy new guy?"

"I think... I think he just said he was Abinadi."

"Oh yeah, take away that hood, that's definitely Abinadi."

"I'll get the fire going."

[Shaka]

Have you seen the Book of Mormon Movie, where Lehi tells his sons they need to return and marry the daughters of Ishmael. Lemual blurts out, "Father this is the best revelation you've had!" and everyone has a good belly laugh.

Especially since one of those daughters had Goatnapper approved enhancements.

[GrizzledVeteran]

I sometimes wonder about Mormon as an editor. What drove his decisions? What is essential/inspiring/useful about Chemish?

Provenance

[hostile]

Provenance

Indy, is that you?

[Jeff Lebowski]

Indy, is that you?

Not even trying anymore, is he?

FTR, the reason I think the Chemish verse is funny is because that is the only thing that he wrote. "Hey, I am Chemish and I got these plates and passed them on. I am out." Looks like a verse written by slacker.

[Green Lantern]

I like Ether 11:14

And it came to pass that Ethem did execute judgment in wickedness all his days; and he begat Moron. And it came to pass that Moron did reign in his stead; and Moron did that which was wicked before the Lord.

Wait, you named your kid Moron and he turned out to be a bad guy? Shocker! That's like naming your kid Jeeves and expecting him to become something other than a butler.

[Moliere]

I like Ether 11:14


Wait, you named your kid Moron and he turned out to be a bad guy? Shocker! That's like naming your kid Jeeves and expecting him to become something other than a butler.

Did Moron mean the same thing in Reformed Egyptian as it does in English?

[Chachi]

Surfah used to read this scripture to me:

Solomon's Song 8:8
We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

[Green Lantern]

Did Moron mean the same thing in Reformed Egyptian as it does in English?

Morons are universal.

[thesaint258]

Looks like a verse written by slacker.

Or he was so busy calling people to repentance and fighting off Lamanites that he didn't have the time to write anything. For all we know, Alma, Helaman, and Nephi were the slackers, and Mormon's editing just made them look good.

[Pelado]

Speaking of Mormon's editing, I've always gotten a chuckle out of this little piece of self-indulgent commentary in Mosiah 18:30:

And now it came to pass that all this was done in Mormon, yea, by the waters of Mormon, in the forest that was near the waters of Mormon; yea, the place of Mormon, the waters of Mormon, the forest of Mormon, how beautiful are they to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer; yea, and how blessed are they, for they shall sing to his praise forever.